


The Wonder Of You

by Crazy_Fun_Reader



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Feelings, First time period, Fluff and Smut, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) Lives, Multi, My First Smut, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scars, Soulmates, Torture, little persona's, mention of selfharm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:04:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 57
Words: 70,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22971022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Fun_Reader/pseuds/Crazy_Fun_Reader
Summary: What if youre parents were of soldiers of Hydra? And you had famous soulmarks?
Relationships: Avengers Team/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 44
Kudos: 130





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so if I mix up I'm Sorry!  
If I forget a tagg, please tell me.

The room was cold and dark. There was just enough room for your bed and a bucket in the corner. The only light came in the room, came from the small barred window in the door. The room was bare, you had nothing. Just the bed and the bucket.

  
Suddenly you could hear shuffling in the hall. _Please let them go past, I can’t take it anymore. Please._ But you weren't that lucky. 2 soldiers came in your room. They were dressed in black clothes with a squid symbol on their chest. They were much taller than you were and used that to their advantage. You curled in on yourself when you saw them.

  
"Get up, bitch," one of the soldiers said. You tried to stand, but everything hurt so much. You were sure you had a bad sprained ankle, and your hip send sharp pains through your body.  
The other soldier pulled on your hair and hauled you out of the room. You couldn’t scream, your voices was still raw from all the screaming from yesterday.

  
The hall was long, the walls were an ugly grey color, and the stones under you feel hurt you bare souls when you walked on them. You couldn’t focus on the things around you. There was a door on the end of the hall, with large locks and electric stuff. The door was open and you were pushed in. "Here she is, sir".

"Ah, thank you, soldat. Welcome, thank you for joining us." The speaking man had a dangerous expression. You shrunk in yourself, knowing there would be more pain. "Our mutual friend here, has done a mission for us. Well, done isn't the right word, isn't it, soldat?"

You looked at your soulmate, his eyes cold and face bloody. He had a cut on his head and blood trickled down his arm. You wanted to go to him so much, but you knew that you couldn’t.

"Mission report." "Target got away, he had help from someone." His voice was toneless, no emotions, nothing. "Well, well well. You know the punishment, don't you soldat?" "Yes sir" cold eyes looked into yours, if it was an apology, you didn't know. Suddenly there were 4 soldiers in the room. "Give the order, soldat" When he didn’t say anything, the man pulled his gun and aimed at your head. "Do it", he spat out. “Teach her a lesson”. Your soul mate said.

You didn't have time to brace for impact. A fist collided with you head that got you spinning, they didn't pull on their punches, they never did. They kept coming and coming. You tried to scream, but you couldn’t. _Please let me die, please please let me die. ___  
  



	2. Chapter 2

You woke with a scream, sweat dripping down your face and your back. You sat up and looked around the room. The room was slightly light by the moon, coming in from the blinds. You could make out the furniture and saw no one was in your room. You heart was racing, and your breath was uneven. A soft meow brought you back to reality. You clapt your hands and the lights on your bedside table went on.   
  
A little stripy cat jumped on your bed, and slowly walked towards you. "I'm sorry, Cutie. I didn't mean to wake you." You said while you brought one hand to your hair and your other hand petted the cats head. With a small meow, he jumped in your lap, where he gave you a small head bump on your chest. "Thank you, Cutie, I love you too," you told him and gave him a hug.

You sat with him for a few minutes, calming down. "I won’t be going to sleep anymore, so how about a little treat for us. What do you say?" You said while caressing Cuties ears. Cutie jumped of the bed and sashayed to the bedroom door. Smiling at his behaviour, you said, “Okay, sweetie, let's go find some snacks." You threw your blanket of you and walked out of your bedroom to your small kitchen.

You didn't have a lot of stuff, only the necessities. One plate, one bowl, one glass, etc. Why buy more when your all alone. You never invited anyone to your home. You don't have any friends, no family, only your cat. You didn’t want to let anyone close. No one could know of your past, so you had to stay hidden. You couldn’t let your soul mates down.

  
You opened the fridge and looked what you had. Some fruit, some vegetables and lemonade. You grabbed a cucumber and the lemonade and made your may to the counter. You grabbed the plate in the upper cabinet and a knife out of the drawer.   
  
Soft fur danced around your legs, almost tripping you over. "Yes, Cutie I haven't forgotten you, but I have to make my snack first, so we can eat together. All I have to do for you, is open a box and give you your treats." Unamused the cat sat down on your foot and looked at you with his shiny eyes. "Charmer," you murmured.

You cut the cucumber in half and cut away the skin and made little pieces. At work there were little bags of salt, and sometimes you took a few. You sprinkled a bit of salt and ate one piece.

A lick at your shin reminded you that you should eat together. "Sorry Cutie," you said when you reached to the box of treats you found on the street. It was sad someone lost their shopping bag, but you were glad. You didn't have a lot of money, especially when you had paid the rent and the bills. 

  
You grabbed your glass and made your lemonade. Putting the stuff back in the fridge, you walked with your snack and your drink to the couch. You grabbed you phone, and thanked God that you lived near a place with free Wi-Fi.

You went on YouTube and searched for your favourite music playlist. You searched for the song ‘Ain't got no’ from Nina Simone, and softly it started playing. This was your song. All your life you had nothing. Your parents dead, but you didn't mind. Served them right of all the abuse you had by their hand. All because if your soul marks. You didn't know how someone could do that to their child. You didn’t choose your soul marks, but they treated you bad because of it. They despised you, took you to the leader of their organisation and shoved you in a life of pain.   
  
Nina pulled you out of your mind when she sang, ‘I've got my eyes, got my head’, and you started singing along. Your cat looked at you and walked back to your bedroom. He was right, is was 5.30 am, but you didn't care. You played the song 3 times before shutting the app and washing your dishes.

Thinking of the long day ahead, you decided to take a shower. The bathroom wasn't great but is was functional. Peeling your sweaty tank top and little shorts off, you put the shower on. Feeling with your hand that the temperature was right, you thought about the coming day. When the water was right, you took your panties off and stepped under the shower.

In 4 hours, work started, 8 hours of being nice to customers and your co-workers, making food, cleaning tables and all sorts of stuff in between. It wasn't your favourite job, but your boss paid cash, and only asked you phone number for the records. You didn't mind, you didn't want no one to find you and take you back to a life of pain, so you stayed under the radar  
  
Washing all the sweat of your body, and washing your hair, you smiled when you thought of tonight. It was the first thing you ever bought that was totally unnecessary and expensive. But going to the movies for2 hours, watching a show of music of the 21st century, made you smiley and giddy. You loved music and got a ticket as soon as you could. Granted food rations where low, but you experienced worse. 

After drying yourself and wrapping yourself in the towel, you walked to your bedroom and put your panties and bra on. Checking the time, you decided to put your uniform on, and going to work early. Putting your hair up in a ponytail, you smiled at your cat. He was curled up in your bed, stealing your spot. You walked towards the bed and caressed his sleeping head. "Love you, Cutie. I'll be back early tonight to give you your dinner. Bye."

You walked to the living room and after putting your shoes and your coat, you left your safe space. You didn't have to hurry, with 15 minutes to spare anyway, you could stroll to work. You changed you route every day, just in case someone was tailing you.

When you got outside, it was dark, but the sun was beginning to come up. The city was already up, people everywhere, busy as always. You looked at the sky and saw Iron man flying over. _I wonder what they are doing. I hope they’re okay. I hope they understand, I would never turn my back on them, its just safer for them this way. I love you Bucky, I love you Steve._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It really is a great song of Nina, I cried wheni heard it for the first time.


	3. Chapter 3

Work was as boring as always. Stupid co-workers, the girls thought they were God’s gift to mankind and were a bitch to you. They would act mean and put you down in front of costumers. You grit your teeth and kept a smile on your face. You always tried to be nice to them and laugh it off, like you found it funny. You couldn’t afford the sack, so you kept doing your job as good as you could.   
  
After 8 hours of hurtful comments and touchy-feely customers, you finally could go home. _I need to wash today away. As soon as I’m home, I’m going to shower and get ready. _With a bounce to you step, you walked home. People looked at you funny, but you didn’t care. This was your night. Finally, something you wanted, something for you.   
  
"Honey, I'm home!" You yelled to you cat when you walked through the front door. Cutie ran to your feet and jumped in your arms. "Well hello Cutie, how was your day? Did you play with your mouse today? Hmm?" You asked while you cuddled him closer. ”Or did you sleep the day away?” A soft meow was his response, and you smiled at him.   
  
"Come Cutie, dinner time." You walked to the kitchen and gave him his food. You wanted to shower before eating, so you left Cutie alone to eat.   
  
For one evening, you wanted to look pretty. So, you scrubbed your body so hard you looked like a red tomato, you shaved your body, under your arms, your legs and very carefully between your legs. You washed your hair and jumped out of the shower. You dried yourself while you were humming and swaying to the song ‘In the mood’.   
  
You had a beautiful blue dress, it reached your knees and had cap sleeves. It was second hand, but it looked elegant. You put your underwear on, brushed your hair and smiled as you put your dress on. You looked in the mirror and thought of your soulmates. Just because they didn't know you, didn't mean you didn't know them. You hoped they would love your dress.   
You grabbed your ticket, that you kept safely in the corner of the mirror. You wonder why the movie theatre called you, asked if they could change you ticket to another night or give you your money back. But you said you paid and couldn’t go another evening.

Now you thought of it, _how did they get my number_? Shrugging the feeling off, you grabbed an apple, bit in it while you put your coat on and walked over to Cutie. "Cutie, I'm going out tonight, I'll be home in a few hours. Love you“ you said while you petted his head.  
  
The movie theatre wasn’t far away, just a 25min walk. It was slowly getting dark, so you sped up your speed.   
  
At the theatre you showed your ticket and walked to your seat. Just 5 minutes to go, before it started. No one was in the room, you wondered why, but got distracted by your phone ringing. Your boss. Grimacing, you answered the call. You heard people coming in the room but didn't give them a second thought when you heard your boss speak.

"Sorry y/n, but you don't have the right charisma and personality to work with us anymore. If you come by by the end of the week, you can return your uniform and get your pay". You didn't think that he would say this on the phone, sack you in a phone call. "Why, what did I do wrong? Those girls I work with are bitches of the highest order, I always let their comments slide, as well as the bastard costumers that ‘accidentally’ touch my breasts or my ass. I am a good worker, how am I supposed to live!" Slowly your voice grew and grew till you were shouting in the phone." Goodbye y/n. See you at of the week," your boss said and hung up.  
  
You looked at your phone and threw it to the chairs in front of you. You fell back in your seat, put your hands in your head and started thinking. _No money, no rent, no home, no Cutie, no nothing. Why am I alive, what did I ever do to deserve all of this? Everything goes wrong, what did I ever do to deserve this?_ Quietly you started sobbing.   
  
"Hey kid, are you alright? I saw you throw your phone away, I got it here for you." A man's voice said. You didn't answer, just kept sobbing. "O kid, come here" and he threw his arms around you and gave you a hug.

"Is she alright, Clint?" A woman's voice said, full of concern. "Kid, look at me" Clint lifted your face and gave you a little smile. "Can I help you, or my soul mate Darcy here? Whoever you want to talk to. Don't bottle it up, it isn't healthy, kid". You took a breath "I'm sorry, I should have controlled myself better."

The woman, Darcy you remember snorted. "Oh, come on, I do break downs on a daily basis, is good for you. You can tell us. Who do you want me to taser?" She smiled wickedly. You gave a tiny smile, "How about everyone I ever met? But thanks for the offer. My boss just fired me. I scraped to get the money for this show, but now. What's the point? What’s the point in everything? Life sucks, I don't know if I can take it anymore. Every way I turn, there are always bastards that beat me down. I don't know if I can stand anymore."

Clint and Darcy gave each other a look and with a small nod from Clint, Darcy said, "I know we just met, and you don't have any reason to trust us. But we want you to know you can come to us. My soulmates have had a hard life and help people who are having hard times. And to bluntly say, we have a spare room and I would like to have a normal girl around to talk to."

The lights went out and the commercials started. "You guys don't even know me" you said. "We don’t, but after this evening we will. Clint, get the popcorn and drinks from Nat, we are sitting here with our new friend," Darcy shouted over the noise of the commercial. "Yes love, I'm going," Clint smiled a loving smile to Darcy and stood up to get the stuff.   
  
"So, what's your name?" Darcy asked loudly. "Y/n" you said while wiping the rest of your tears. "Well, y/n, what are you doing here? We’re only here, ‘cause Tony lost a bet." "I love music. When I was young, I wasn't allowed a lot," you said while Clint gave you the popcorn since you were in the middle," when I esca, i mean left, I got to do what I wanted. Listening to music is my favourite. So, when I saw a commercial for the best music of the 21st century, I wanted to go." You missed the look between Darcy and Clint, when you saw your favourites singers and musicians on the screen.

It started with music you didn't know. But as soon as you heard the beginning of ‘In the mood’, your dark thoughts left your brain. "I bet the old guys can dance like that" Darcy said, to which Clint smiled and said, "So can I, sweet cheeks." "Please baby, you can hurt yourself by sitting still." Clint huffed and stood up. He gave you a mischievous smile and hoisted you of your seat. "Come y/n, I'll show you my moves." Clint dragged you down to where a there was a large space between the seats and the screen.

"Clint, I don't know, is it allowed?" you said nervously. "Come on, live a little kid." Darcy sat down on the front seat and watched you and Clint dance. It was awkward, you didn't know what you were doing, but it was so much fun. You couldn’t remember, _yes you could, never was the answer_, when you had this much fun. When the dance was finished, you sat down next to Darcy, who recorded the whole thing.   
  
A few songs past, you didn't know, but soon enough there were songs you knew. ‘If I had a hammer’ from Trini Lopez, ‘You'll never walk alone’ from Gerry and the Pacemakers, ‘Pretty woman’ from Roy Orbison, and so much more.

When you saw the grey piano and that woman, something came over you. "This is my favourite song" you smiled at Darcy and stood up. You sang with Nina, and at the best part, you belted out the lyrics. The songs that came after, you sang and danced with Darcy and Clint.  
  
The evening was over before you knew. It was an awesome evening and it was sad it was over. Or so you thought. "Hey Clint, Tony's taking us out to dinner, does y/n want to come?" You heard a woman yell.

At the top of the stairs you saw a woman with beautiful red hair. "Yes, Nat she's coming along," Clint yelled. "What! No, I can’t, it's late and I have..." you started but Darcy cut you off. "Honey, just come with us. You'll meet the rest of the gang, and have an awesome, delicious, extremely expensive dinner, cause Tony's paying," Darcy sing sang.

You smiled at her, "Are you sure, positively sure Tony doesn't mind?" "Pff, you'll believe me when you'll see him." Darcy said and looped her arm with yours. She ran up the stairs with you in tow. "Darcy, please, I'm going to fall!!" You screeched. "O come on, last one is a sissy!" She laughed. When you reached the top, you glared at her "I hate you." "love you too," Darcy winked and together you walked out of the movie theatre.   
  
You saw a group of people, but it was dark so you couldn’t make out who they were, and a big black limo. _Fancy_. "Shouldn't we wait for Clint?" you asked Darcy. "Nah, he is as fast as a hawk if he wants to. And there is food involved now, so he'll." and at the same time Clint ran past you two. "Idiot" Darcy said in loving voice. You could hear the love she had for Clint. You were glad she had her soulmate, but it did hurt.   
  
"Hey Tony, y/n is coming along. She is my new best friend, so if your mean to her, I'll set Pepper on you." Darcy grinned. You ducked your head in embarrassment, but also to cover a smile. "Who said I was mean to new people I meet? I am my charming self." Tony said with fake innocence and a hand on his heart. You lifted you head and saw who Tony was. _Tony Stark!! Ow shit. That means the old guys..._ "This is Bruce, one of Tony's soulmate, Pepper is away on business. Nat, the gorgeous redhead, is my other soulmate, and these guys are Steve and" "B-Bucky?" You said with tears in your eyes. "B-bucky i-is that-that you?" You whispered.

His voice was so soft, you almost couldn't hear it. "Y/n? You... I... y/n!" Bucky shouted your name and wrapped you in his arms faster than you could have blinked. You felt his tears in your neck and heard his sobs. You gently put your arms around him and said, "It's me Bucky, it's me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudo's!   
Tell me what you think


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Bucky!!🎉🎉

**Chapter 4**

The group looked at you two in silence. Tony was the first to speak up. "Have I missed something, since when is Cyborg hugging strangers?" "Shut up Tony!" you heard a voice say. Suddenly the voice was closer, "Buck, is this... is she... is y/n?" the voice said nervously and full with hope. "Yes punk, this is y/n, our soulmate."

You stiffened. Bucky noticed and drew back to look at you. "Sweetheart, where were you, I've been searching for you ever since I remembered you 2 years ago. Steve and I, we searched for you everywhere," Bucky said with tears in his eyes. "They told me, if I ever escaped and searched for you, they would torture and kill you and Steve in front on me. I couldn’t let you two get hurt because of me." You cried.

"Tony, get everyone in the limo, we need to go," Nat said. Tony clapped his hands and said, "Alright let's get this show on the road, boys and girls. Hop in." You don't remember getting in the limo, but you felt a strange peace sitting with your soulmates. The ride was quiet, none said anything. Bucky and Steve were holding your hands and the rest looked at the three of you.   
  
"Umm, Tony?" You timidly spoke." Yes, my favourite singer, ask me anything...accept my social security number, I only know it has a 7," Tony joked. "Uhm, I ah, can you drop me off home please. My cat is home alone and I promised him I would go home straight after. I would like to rain check if its oke?"   
  
"Kid, you want to go home to your cat when you just found your soulmates?" Clint said. "Look, kid, I'll be honest, we all heard you phone call," you ducked back in your seat, hoping to become invisible. Bucky and Steve held your hands tighter and made circles with their thumbs to calm you down. "We never invite someone to come by who we just met. But you, y/n, if I may bluntly say, you got fired, you are going to lose your home and I think you need us. Look me in the eyes, and tell me what you were going to do tonight, if you hadn't met us?" The limo was so silent, you could have heard a pin drop.

"Honest?" You said looking Clint straight in the eye, "I would go home, gave my cat the biggest hug possible, kept open my front door so my cat could walk out. I would have walked to the bridge and when I was halfway. I would have jumped." You said softly with tears is your eyes. Bucky and Steve sniffled; Darcy was crying while Nat consoled her. Bruce and Tony looked at you with wide eyes.

"Okay, change of plans. Happy? Go to y/n place." Tony looked at everyone and said, "We are going to get her stuff and move her in to one of the apartments. Your place is dangerous y/n, so we’ll go with you, no don't protest, Daddy is talking." Tony said when you opened your mouth to speak. Your mouth snapped shut and you nodded.

After a few minutes you started to wonder. “How do you know where I live?” you asked to no one in particular. “I did a quick facial check when you got in the car. Jarvis did the rest.” Tony said. “So you only needed my face to find out where I live? Suddenly home doesn’t seem so safe anymore,” you said sadly.   
  
The limo stopped in front of your flat. Everyone got out, and you looked to the ground when you spoke. "My home isn't big, or nice or anything. There isn't a lot to take with me. The only thing I want is my cat and my, my..." you started to hyperventilate. "Hey y/n," Darcy said, "It's okay. One step at a time okay?" You nodded. Clint and Nat shared a look of pride at their soulmate.

Slowly the group made the way to your home. You stood in front of your door and unlocked it. When you stepped in, Cutie ran up to you and jumped in your arms. "Hey Cutie, how are you? I've brought some people with me. ‘Cause we are moving. We are going to live somewhere else. Somewhere better."

The group was silent but had smiles on their faces. You blanched and turned with a red face. "It’s cool, tony talks to his toys" Bruce told you with a grin. You laughed, and it sounded like music to Steve and Bucky. "If you wait here for one minute, I’ll go grab my stuff” you said while walking to the kitchen.

The group spread out, unlike you asked, and walked around. _Whatever_. You grabbed a grocery bag and walked in your bedroom. Nat and Darcy were with you and looked around. "Girls’ day tomorrow, 10 o'clock. We’re going shopping." Nat said. "Yeeeesss!! Darcy screamed. "I can’t, i..." "No, y/n. You are safe with us. It will be fun." You backed away to the wall.

"But… but..." You couldn’t find the words you so desperately wanted to say. "I know your soulmates and they want to provide for you, they always said that when they would find you, they would do anything for you. And now they've found you. They know what's happened those years, when Bucky got his memory back, and they want you to have everything you never had." She said with a motherly smile.

"So, tomorrow is shopping day. And don't worry about the money, there billionaires thanks to the lawyers of Tony, who said those two were long overdue on their wages. And if you count inflation and rents and all. You'll be fine".

"Nat’s right, sweetheart, our money is your money." Bucky said walking in your bedroom. "So, go on a shopping trip with the girls tomorrow and don't worried about the money." He gave you a smile that made your knees weak. Even when he was the soldier, he sometimes remembered you and gave you that smile.

"Oi, Bucky cut that out, no bedroom eyes or smiles when we are in the room," Darcey mock yelled. You flushed again and turned towards your dressier to get your clothes. You dumped them in the bag while the others were talking. 

You felt Bucky’s eyes in your back, watching every move you made. It didn’t make you as nervous as you thought it would. It was good to have Bucky close again, it was nice to have someone look at you, to really look at you, like they loved you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudo's! It's awsome to know you like this!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Bucky was leaning where you just stood and looked at you. His soulmate was more beautiful than he remembered. With hydra he never saw you without a bruise or without pain. Even then he found you beautiful. And now, sure life was still hard for you when you escaped. Money was tight, he could see that in your apartment, you had even less the he and Steve did back in the day. But you weren’t that scary thin anymore. Every time he saw you there, he thought it would be the last time. He could now see you’d filled out a bit.

Bucky saw what you put in the bag. 3 pants, 4 shirts, 4 pairs of underwear and 1 bra. A couple of socks and some books from your dresser. Then you grabbed another bag and put your dirty clothes in that were in the basket and put that bag in the first one. You were tempted to leave your uniform, but that of your wages and decided against it.

You closed the bag and looked at Bucky and sighed. "That's it. I..um... I don't know what to do with the other stuff. Everything is second hand, my clothes, the furniture, the things in the kitchen. Bucky, I" you stopped talking, because Steve walked in.

"Nat, Darce, can you give us a minute? Steve asked the two women. They nodded, smiled at you and walked out. You started to wring your fingers, you were nervous, you kind of knew Bucky, but Steve was another story. He was gorgeous, just like Bucky, which didn't improve your brain functions.

You didn't realise Steve was speaking, until he stood in front of you. "Sweetheart, just breathe, in and out." He emphasised his own breathing which you copied. When you breathed normal again, you gave him a little smile. "Thank you" "Anything for you, sweetheart. Come let's sit down for a second."

Steve took your hand and walked with you to your bed. Bucky walked towards you, but he sat down on the floor in front of you and Steve. "Darlin’, we know that your life is changing, but is changing in a good way. We've finally found you and we will never send you away. We will never hurt you and promise to do everything we can to make you happy." Bucky said with a sappy smile. "Bucks right, sweetheart. We’ll do anything for you, you don't have to want for anything. We are old fashioned in some ways, but..." you didn't let Steve finish.

“I’m scared hydra will find out and hurt you two, and your friends. I'm scared you'll find me annoying and boring and stupid and everything else they called me. I want to be with you two so much, but I... I’m..." "Oh, sweetheart. Can I… may I give you a hug?" Steve nervously asked, and you nodded furiously. He wrapped his arms around you and gave you the biggest hug that you've ever had. A hug full of love, warmth, promise and so much more. You cried and cried while Bucky stroked your knee. You put your hand on Bucky’s to hold him too. You were exhausted and cried yourself a sleep in a few minutes.   
  
"Let's take our girl home, Stevie," Bucky said. Steve nodded and carried you bridal style. Bucky grabbed your bag and they walked out of your bedroom. Darcy was snapping pictures of Clint with your cat on his head, like he belonged there. She saw you and raised her eyebrows.

"Is she okay?" Steve walked with you to the front door while saying, "She's had a hard day, and it is gaining up on her. She cried herself to sleep in my arms." Clint stood up and walked to follow Steve and Bucky. “Poor kid, I know she’s your soulmate, and that technically you two could be my grandparents. But I know you two are young and are going to have questions sooner or later. Be it about y/n or be it about being a soulmate to a woman. So, if I can help you two, or three, don’t hesitate to come to me.,” Clint said with his heart on his sleeve. “No one should feel so alone and scared all the time, like y/n. If I can help, I will be there.” Clint said honestly, like a promise and a vow. “Thank you, Clint, for everything you have done for us today, and everything you are going to help us with. You too, Darcy. And all of you.” Bucky replied with a crack in his voice. “Thank you,” Bucky whispered.

"There isn’t anything personal here, I don't know what we should take with us." Bruce said looking at Steve. "She only wanted her cat. The rest means nothing to her." Steve said sadly. Bruce nodded, while everyone stood up to go home.

Your cat was patting Clint’s legs with his head, so he had put your cat on his shoulder and walked like that to the limo. The cat stayed perfectly perched on his shoulder throughout the ride home. Darcy was taking more pictures of him and was giggling at the stupid faces he made. Nat was looking at her phone, but she too was smiling at Clint’s behaviour.

Tony was talking to Bruce about a renovation, Steve and Bucky looked up at them when they heard your name, but Bruce waved them off with a smile. Bruce was the best in making a calm atmosphere, so Bucky and Steve went back to looking at you, taking everything in what you did. The way your closed eyes moved in your sleep, your twitching hands and legs. They were wondering what you were dreaming. Suddenly you moved in Steve’s arms, hugging closer to his body. “Home,” you murmured in your sleep.

Everyone stopped what they were doing when you moved. They all heard what you said and smiled at you. The rest of the ride was quiet. They looked at you, sleeping in Steve's arms, with your legs on Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudo's!!


	6. Chapter 6

When the limo reached the tower, you woke up. You blushed furiously when you saw where you sat. "Hey sweetheart, were almost there." Steve said gently at you. No words came out of your mouth when you opened your mouth to speak, so you gave Steve a little smile.

“So what shall we eat? Tai, Chinese, Indian, Italian?” Tony asked the group. “How about we let y/n choose? Bruce said looking at you. Every eye went to you. "Hey y/n, what's your favourite food?" Tony said. "I like cucumbers and apples. I don't really have a favourite. Paying the rent was more important than food that actually tastes nice," you said looking at your hands. "Hmm. I think you'll really love Italian.” Tony said in thought, “ Yep that's it. Jarvis, order for us at that Italian place, pizza, rolls everything." "Yes sir, delivery will be in 30 minutes."  
  
You looked around for this Jarvis but could find him. Bucky saw you looking and whispered to you. "Jarvis is an A.I, a piece of software made by Stark. It is quite unnerving in the beginning, but you'll get used to it." You looked at him with big eyes. "I hope so, you sure he isn’t a real person?" “Yeah doll I'm certain. " Bucky said with a smile.   
  
The elevator was huge, everyone got in, and still had space to breathe. “Take us to the lounge, Jarvis.” Tony said looking at his phone. “The lounge?” you asked, taking in the wonderful ceiling of the elevator. When it rose, it looked like shootings stars. You couldn’t take your eyes of it. “It’s a room where we all get together, the common room.” Bruce said. When the elevator stopped at the common room, or as Darcy called it the living room, you all got out. "Would you like a drink, kid?" Clint asked you. "Lemonade please" you answered.

Most of the eyes in the room looked at you with furrowed brows. "What?" You shrank in on yourself. "O doll, there just used to people wanting alcohol, bourbon or something like that, nothing’s wrong." Buck said with a glare to everyone.

"Yeah, it's weird when someone doesn't want alcohol when we invite them" Darcy said as she walked to you. She raised her arm to give you a hug, but you didn't know. You didn’t get hugs a lot, and your brain went in defence mode. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive, please you have to believe me, please, I’ll be good, please don’t," you cried walking backwards.

"Sweetheart, no one is going to hurt you here. Come let's sit on the couch." Steve said while everyone acted like nothing happed and continued what they were doing. "I'm sorry Steve." You sniffed, "I’d….don’t... I don't know what's normal or not. I don’t know how to deal with normal people. At work I try to be like the others, but I can’t. They were right, I'm useless." You sobbed. Steve and Bucky comforted you while you cried. "It would have been better if they just gave me up for adoption or even left me in the street. Then I would have been just weird, but normal." You cried.   
  
"Sir, the delivery man is here." The AI Jarvis said, you didn’t register anything around you. "Thanks Jarvis, come Bruce, well get dinner." Tony said looking at Bruce. "Lead the way,” he sighed. "You just want to look at my ass don't you, Bruce" Tony sing sang. Which got a snort from the rest. And a few catcalls from Clint and Nat. 

  
Steve looked up, and saw Darcy coming closer. She looked at Steve and mouth “Can I?” Steve made a head nod and looked back at you. "Y/n? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I would never hurt you, not on purpose." Darcy apologised.

"No, Darcy, I'm sorry, I'm still learning how to treat and trust people, It's just hard, I've lived with hydra for 20 years. I was just a thing, a burden. And when I got out, people were different, but most of the time not that nice, there was one man who was nice. And now you treat me, like... like I'm family. I never thought I could have that," you said with tears in your eyes.

"Oh y/n, shut up and come here," Darcy said, while walking to you with open arms. She gave you the biggest hug she had. "Thank you Darcy" you hugged her back tightly. Steve looked at Bucky, but he shook his head.   


The lift doors opened and tony and Bruce walked in with lot of boxes and bags.  
"Dinner time!!!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudo's!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n tells the group a bit of her past.

"We've got pizzas, rolls, garlic bread and all kinds of stuff. Let's eat" Tony said. The group grabbed their food like they'd been starving. You looked at the food in front of you on the table and didn't know what to pick. Almost like reading your thoughts, Bucky asked you, "Doll, can I fix you a plate?" "Please, thank you Bucky" you said with a small smile.   
  
"Y/n, I don't want to make you upset, but what did you mean just now, when you said they?" Darcy asked. “They?” you frowned. ”Yeah, you said, ‘ It would have been better if they just gave me up for adoption or even left me in the street’. ” You closed your eyes, sighed, and started talking. "This is probably an answer you don't want to know. My... parents," you uttered the word with disgust and loathing, "gave me to Hydra when they saw my soul marks. I was born with my soul marks, and when they saw me, they only saw the marks. Not a baby.

They took me to work and gave me to their boss. ‘The gene pool origins’ let them do everything to me, it didn't matter to them. They even sold me to some soldiers for a few hours when I was older. There was one woman who helped me, she was cold and stern, but she taught me to read and write a little bit. When they found out they killed her in front of me. Said it was my fault.

They used to hurt me every day, with their hand, whips, hot water, you name it, they did it. But they could never make Bucky hurt me" you said with pride. "Bucky never hurt me. We met when I was, I don't know hip hight. Is that 4 or 5? I don’t know. I mean face to face. I saw him in cryo lots of times. They liked to say, my soulmate wanted nothing to do with me, so he slept in a metal box to get away from me.

But anyway, what I was saying; when I met Bucky for the first time out of cryo, I didn't know what was happening, because I never saw someone from hydra cry. I went to him, and he flinched when I put my hand on his shoulder. I asked him if he was okay, and he told me he was in pain. His stomach hurt, because he ate some solid food before getting in cryo. He was out of cryo for a few days and started remembering was they made him do. He told me his nick name, because he couldn't remember his real name and he was a prisoner and asked why I was here. I told him about my life. He held my hand while I was talking and promised me that he would get us out, no matter how long it took.

A few seconds later the soldiers came, and they saw me and Bucky. The soldiers grabbed me and started hitting me, because I left my ‘fancy room’. Bucky attacked the soldiers but they held a gun to my head and he knew they would shoot. They took us to the room with the chair and told him if he got in, they wouldn’t hurt me. Bucky got in and a few seconds later he was screaming.

I was trashing to go to him, to help him, but I was young. When they finished, they told Bucky to get up and said he had to give the order for my beating. The leader said that I was such a useless worthless thing, my soulmate would give the command without hesitation. In my mind I knew that was not true, because I saw Bucky’s eyes before and after the chair. He gave the soldier the command. If he didn’t listen, they would have killed me. I don't remember much of that night or the other days after that. I probably had a concussion or something like that. I have always known Bucky would never hurt me, and he never did. They did, because Bucky never lifted a finger to hurt me. They couldn’t make him do that.”

The room was silent while you spoke. No one ate from their dinner, they were listening to you, hanging on every word you said. Before you could continue, Clint spoke up. "Is that the only time you met Bucky? Face to face?" "O no, I met Bucky a few times, sometimes it took a long time in between.

One time, I was I don't know, maybe 4-5 inches shorter than I am now. The boss said that our base was discovered and we had to go. I was happy, because maybe I got to see Bucky, and we could escape. But they saw my happiness. That was the first time when they... when they... raped me. It hurt so much, and when I started crying, they beat me up 

When they were done, they threw me in a car. I was in so much pain and unaware of everything, I didn't realise that Bucky was in the car with me. He walked to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I backed up, because I couldn't handle any more pain. But when I saw Bucky, I held out my hands and started crying even harder. Something snapped in his mind because he called me doll and gave me a big hug. He started whispering little things to make me calm down.

When I calmed down enough, I told him I was glad he was my soulmate. He didn't believe me, because he already had one. I showed him my mark, and he looked at his inside arm and saw my mark on him. He started crying, and soon we both were crying. 

The trip was long, and when I asked about his other soulmate, he told me he couldn't remember his name, only that he was little and very sick sometimes. He was his best friend. He told me he would like me too. And then Bucky asked me my name. I was embarrassed, because I didn't have one."

"What!!?? They didn't give you a name!?" Darcy yelled out loud. You looked at her and shrugged. You looked around the room and saw Bruce was greenish, Tony and Clint had tears streaming down they're face, and a matching look that could kill someone where they stood.

Natasha was trying to look unaffected, but you saw her hands shaking slightly. Bucky was looking down at the floor his shoulders hunched in and shaking. Steve had tears running down his face and was wringing his hands like he was murdering someone.   
  
You had to say something good to lift the mood. And you smiled, when you said it. " It didn't matter to me anymore by then, I was used to it. But because of Bucky." You said while you put your hand under his chin to make him look up at you, "I have a name. I reminded him of an aunt he had, strong, kind and beautiful. And he asked me if he could call me y/n. I smiled and I said, ‘yes, I" "‘I would be honoured to have your aunts name, thank you’, " Bucky said, remembering your words. You smiled at him and lowered yourself on the ground to give him a hug.

You sensed that Steve could also use a hug, so you lean back a bit, grabbed Steve's shirt and tugged him to you two. Steve sat down on the ground and hugged both of you. After a few minutes you felt more hands and arms. You looked up a bit and saw everyone participating in a group hug. "I think I'm going to love all of you guys." You said with a warm voice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudo's! They make my day!


	8. Chapter 8

When everyone went back to their original spot, you, Bucky and Steve stayed on the ground, close to each other. "I haven’t had pizza before, what's that white blob there?" You pointed at your pizza. "It’s mozzarella, it's not good for you but it’s delicious" Bruce said.

You took a bit from your pizza. "O my God, this is wonderful!" You said between bites. Steve gave you a piece off something of his plate. "Here sweetheart, this is garlic bread." You started on the bread and moaned. "How are all of you in such good shape?" “The perks of being an avenger, we train every day," Nat said.

"If you want, I could train you." Nat seemed unsure to ask you, but you didn’t know for sure. "Please Nat, don't do this to her, you training is brutal. My dear y/n, don't take her op on it. I tried it and couldn’t walk for days, let alone do anything else with my soulmates" Darcy said.

"Will you take it easy on me? I don't want to mess up, but I do want to learn how to defend myself. At least I want to know how you scare away a mugger." Nat smiled at you, "Well go at your speed, but when I think you’re ready, well ready start intensify your training." Nat told you. "Please Nat, she only needs this, one of my other best friends, Mr. Taser." She waved a taser at you she kept in her bag. You smiled at Darcy, “That thing hurts like a bitch, good choice.”   
  
Suddenly you remembered Cutie. You jumped at your feet, looked around and started yelling his name. "Doll, he's in our apartment, I gave him water and his food, everything's okay." Bucky told you gently. "Do you want to go to him?” You nodded, because you had tears in your eyes and would start crying if you spoke. "Come on sweetheart, let's go" Steve said lovingly.

Bucky and Steve flanked you and in the spur of the moment you went to grab they're hands. You blushed like mad and looked down, but Steve put his finger under your chin and made you look up. "Sweetheart, you can always hold our hands and give us hugs. I want you to know this. Bucky and I will follow your lead, you are very important to us. I know its early to say, because we met each other tonight, but I love you. We love you. You don't have to say it back, not now or in the future. When you are ready." Steve told you, he was so honest and loving you let go of Bucky’s hand and gave him a big hug.

"Sweetheart, can I carry you to our apartment?” You nodded in his chest. “Jump up." You jumped and felt so safe in Steve's arms. He held you like you were the most precious thing in the world. You put your face in Steve's neck and softly whispered " I think I already love you and Bucky too." And you started to cry._ Again. How many times today do I have to cry in front of anyone?_

You didn't realise you were in the apartment, until you sat on Steve's lap. Cutie was next to you on the couch, asleep. "That silly cat, he really loves to sleep." You said.

"How did you find him?" Bucky asked. You turned your head to look at Bucky. "I met him when I. ah... was living under a bridge." You whispered. "There was a very nice man, Sam. Flashy, but he was kind and told me funny jokes. He saw me under the bridge and asked me if I was okay, I shrugged, and he asked me if I had anywhere to call home. I said no." you started fiddling with Steve shirt.

"He asked if he could help me, he said he did work with people with problems. I nodded and he said come on. I started to walk with him, until I heard a weak cry. I searched for the sound and saw Cutie there in a box. He was so filthy but so sweet. I picked him up and carried him with me.

Sam stood by his car, but I didn't want to go in. So, he walked with me to a second-hand shop and bought me clothes, shoes and a backpack. Then we went to his workplace, and he let me shower there and change. Cutie fell asleep in my old shirt, so I bundled him up and carried him with me.

We went to a shop and he bought me a phone. He started it up for me and put his number in. In case I ever needed help. He told me about a place, a diner, where they were looking to hire people. I thanked him and said again I couldn’t give him money or anything. He said. ‘It's my duty to help people.’ I hugged him and went on my way.

They didn't hire me, but after a few runs around I found work. The owner even recommended a place to say, saying it was a friends building and told me to say John sent me. So, I went, the lady was very nice and sweet, and let me rent the first month for free. She said if John sent me, I really needed a place and be off the streets.

I paid my first rent with interest, she told me she didn't want it, but I said I really needed to do this to make me feel good, so she excepted. Cutie and I live there for a few months now. It isn’t big, or pretty, but its home." You said with a yawn.

"Did you really mean it, that I could live here? Am I really safe here?" Steve put his arms around you and Bucky held your hand, "Sweetheart, this is your home for as long as you want it to be. You are safe with us. We want you with us, here, till the end of the line" Bucky said. "Thank you" you murmured, putting your sleepy head on Steve's chest.

There was a soft knock at the door and Cutie lifted his head to look at the door. Bucky stood up and went to answer. "Hey, is y/n still awake?" It was Clint. "Yeah, but she's almost out." "I heard from Darcy, that she didn't really have any night clothes. So, I grabbed a pyjama from Darcy, I think is about right." "Thanks, Clint. Do you want to give it to y/n?" Bucky asked. He saw that Clint’s fatherly persona was active with you, and he thought it was good for you to have someone filling that figure.   
  
Clint walked to the couch and sat on the table "Hey sleepyhead, I've brought you a nice warm pyjama from Darcy, I think it will fit you nicely.” You hummed a thanks to Clint. “Y/n, can you look at me for a second?" You heard what Clint said but you were so tired. "I want to, but I'm so tired. I can’t, I'm sorry." You said with a small voice. "That's alright kid, I know you are tired. I..ah... just wanted you to know, if there is anything you want to know or ask, you can come to me. My door is always open." Steve, Bucky and Clint all shared a look and nodded to each other. "Thank you, Clint. I wish you were my dad." You said sleepy.

The three man shared a smile at your words. You probably wouldn't remember them tomorrow. "Well, y/n, you may call me your dad, I'm totally up for that. Good night, Angel" Clint stood up and gave you a kiss on your head. He nodded to Steve and Bucky and went to walk away. But Cutie jumped on his back, causing Clint to let out a shriek. “Stupid cat.” And put Cutie better on his shoulder. “G’Night all.” Clint said and left.

"Come on, darling. Let's put you to bed." Bucky said. He lifted you off of Steve and walked to a spare bedroom. You were dead on your feet, but Bucky didn’t want you to wake up, so he left the lights out. "Darlin’, I'm going to help you in your pjs okay" you hummed and let everything happen. The last thing you hear and felt was the goodnight and the kiss on your forehead. Softly you heard spinning in your right ear and said goodnight to Cutie.

Steve and Bucky went to go their room to get in their sleepwear and grabbed their pillow and a few blankets. They walked back to your room and made camp beside your bed. Steve and Bucky cuddled close. "We found her Stevie, we found her,“ Bucky said with stinging eyes "Yeah, Bucky, we did, we found her," Steve started to cry softly. They fell asleep while hugging each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudo's!


	9. Chapter 9

You woke up with Cutie dancing on your chest. You smiled at him and out your arms around him and gave him a hug. You kissed him between his ears and rubbed your cheek against his head. "Hey Cutie, good morning. How are you?" A big meow followed and he jumped of the bed towards the bedroom door. "Silly cat," you said lovingly. “Do you want your breakfast?“ He meowed again and went on his way.

You were rubbing your eyes, when you heard voices coming down the hall. Quickly you rearranged the blankets around you. You looked at the door and saw Bucky peeking his head in. He looked at your body and frowned when he saw you sitting up. He looked sheepish that you caught him looking, a nice blush appeared on his face. 

  
"Hey doll, me and Stevie made you breakfast." Bucky said walking towards you with a big smile on his face. "It doesn't look very appetizing, Stevie tries his best, but he isn’t a good cook." Bucky said mischievous. "Hey I heard that! It's not my fault, the recipes are wrong." Bucky winked at you and you blushed and let out a giggle. You looked down and noticed your pjs.

"This isn’t mine, who's is this?" Steve put the tray on your lap and sat down on the bed at your feet. "Clint brought it by last night, its Darcy’s." “That was very sweet of him, why did he do that?” you asked looking at the food. ”Darcy said to him that you really did have any sleepwear. So he brought some of Darcy’s.

You suddenly remembered your sleepy words last night. You looked at Bucky with wide eyes and looked down very quickly. "Hey sweetheart, what’s wrong?" Steve told you gently. "I... Clint... I don't know why I said that. About him being my dad. I never trust people on such a small amount of time, why do I trust him so much? I know he fits the picture I had in my mind, for being my dad. But still, it doesn’t make sense" You said twiddling your thumbs.

"Darlin’, I think I know why. We can see the way he's with you. Like you're the daughter he’s found. Its sweet. I bed he doesn’t mind if you wanted to call him dad." Bucky said. “Isn’t it strange? I mean, with my age, calling someone I just met yesterday, my dad?” You thought aloud. “No sweetheart, it isn’t strange. The way we life is different from the rest of the world. It’s not better, but it sure isn’t worse either. Because what we’ve got here is a family. Not by blood, but by love.” Steve said.

“All right, enough talk,” Bucky said as he pushed the tray closer to you, "Come on doll, it was fun watching Stevie cook, at least try the orange juice. I bet he couldn't get that wrong." He smiled. Steve smacked his shoulder, almost spilling everything. "Sorry" Steve said sheepish.

  
You started on the pancakes and let out a moan. "Steve, this is wonderful." "It can’t be" Bucky said reaching a piece." He yelped when you pinched his hand with a fork. "Mine" you said between bites. Steve was watching you with a proud smile. He loved the way you defended his pancakes, even from your soulmate. He promised himself to make you breakfast every day, if he wasn’t on mission anyway. But he didn’t want to think about that.

"See, I am a good cook. _You _are just picky." Steve said smugly to Bucky. Bucky scoffed. "Phff, she has to taste you scrambled eggs yet and that juice." You started on the scrambled eggs but didn't eat all of it. It wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t like the pancakes. The orange juice was wonderful, it hit the right spot. Okay, it had 4 pits in it but you swallowed them, because you didn't like the eggs.

"You don't like the eggs?" Steve said disappointed. "I don't know, the texture feels weird when I chew them. The rest was very good though," you smiled at Steve. "Perhaps you like boiled eggs better" Steve said in thought. "That's Steve, always thinking about food."

“I don’t ‘always think about food’, unlike you. We were once on a mission and the whole time he was talking about a full thanksgiving dinner. It was terrible, he couldn’t shut up about it.” Steve playfully glared at Bucky, you smiled at their banter. It was nice to listen to your soulmates talk. They had wonderful rich voices, filled with warms and love, and you could listen to them for hours.

“You know what I like most?” you said. “The first week I got out, I slept near a bakery. The owner said there was something going on with me. She knew I wasn’t just a homeless person, but something terrible happened. I didn’t trust no one except Bucky, so I never went with her to the bakery. But every morning and evening she would come out with something delicious. Fresh baked bread in the morning, with butter even. And in the evening, she gave me a pastry. She was the first person who treated me like a human being. Present company excluded.” You smiled.

“Do you two know how to make bread? I tried it a few times, but the stuff I made it with was wrong I think, the bread was hard and tasted horrible.” You laughed. “Well, I used to make bread, but that was 70 odd years ago. I don’t know if I still can. But we can try.” Bucky beamed at you.

A voice suddenly filled the room. "Miss Natasha and miss Darcy are on their way to the apartment." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank your for reading and kudo's!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mention of torture and scars.

"Guess you’re going shopping, doll" Bucky said with loving eyes. "Yeah, I guess" you said softly. "Don’t you want to go?" Steve said as he took your hands in his. "I'll have to change my clothes. I don't want to do that." You said softly. "Why? Girls love trying all sorts of clothes.” Bucky said with frown. "I, its, I'm… what if I have a panic attack?"

Just as Steve opened his mouth, you heard the front door close and running. "Decent or not were coming in!" Darcy yelled on the other side of the door. Suddenly there was a thump and Darcy were on the bed with you three.

"Darcy!!" Steve yelled. "What do you think you are doing?!" "I want to take my best friend shopping, that's what." Darcy answered sweetly. Steve still glared at Darcy, but she didn’t back down. “You are not getting in they way with our girl time, Rogers.”   
  
You jumped out of bed, making everyone look at you. "I don't want to go, I can’t, don't take me shopping, I don’t want too!!" You said increasing your volume. Everyone exchanged looks, and Bucky came closer, slowly as if you were a scared animal.

"Calm down, sweetheart, you are safe. You are in the avenger’s tower, in our apartment, with me, Stevie, Darcy and Tasha. You are safe, darlin’." Bucky was low on the ground with his hand reaching towards you. "Please, Bucky, I... " you whimpered. "Sshh, it's okay. Can I hold your hand?" You slowly gave Bucky your hand and as soon as your hand was in his, you jumped hugging him with your life.   
  
"Sweetheart, I'm going to stand up with you and we are going to sit on your bed okay?" Bucky spoke softly, but loud enough the other to have heard it. Slowly Bucky stood up with you still glued to him and walked to the bed and sat down. "Sweetheart, what's got you so scared? Please, doll, let us help you." Bucky’s tone made you look up to him, he was worried and didn't know what to do. His face was full of worry, but also with so much love.

"Bucky, I'm... I’m... scared. Scared to see myself. To let you see me, to let Stevie see me, to let Darc and Nat see me. I'm scarred, they hurt me, Bucky, a lot. Seeing it takes me back, and I can’t stop seeing it, it's like I'm there again." You cried.

"Y/n?" Darcy stood in front of you. "Y/n, please look at me." You slowly look at Darcy, on her knees in front of you. "Y/n, I'm going to show you something. Only Clint and Nat know. I... I.." she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I was abducted a few years ago. We don't know why or who they were. We still don’t. They... they hurt me too." You could hear Bucky’s heartbeat picking up.

"I don't know what your scars look like, but I'm going to show you mine. Because I know. I know what you’re feeling right now and you need to know you’re not along. "Honey, are you sure?" Nat voice was full of concern. "I need to do this, Nat, I don’t want to hide anymore," Darcy said with tears and a soft smile, "because I know." She said looking in your eyes.

"Do you want us to leave?” Steve spoke softly. "No, because y/n needs you, and I have Nat." Darcy stood up and stepped 3 steps back so you could look at her. She wiped her tears with her sleeve. "Here goes." Darcy whispered.

She was wearing a long sleeve shirt with a short one on top. She pulled the short sleeve of first. She let it drop at her feet. Then she removed the long sleeve. You heard Steve and Bucky gasp. Her breast and belly were full of scars. She turned and there were angry red lines on her back. You heard a pop and her trousers fell to the ground. You saw healed skin, but it was an angry red. She stepped out and turned. Both her upper legs were damaged, healed, but damaged. "This isn’t all. She took of her bra, and you saw that there were stripes round her nipples, shaping them like a sun you would draw as a kid. She then removed her panties. Her flesh was burned, in the shape of fish netting. Darcy was crying full on now.

"I know y/n, I know what you’re feeling. I... I... " you stood up and walked toward Darcy and gave her a hug while you were crying. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. " you said. You stepped back and went to remove your clothes. Your body almost matched Darcy’s.

"They hurt me the night before, so I couldn’t move at all on my own. They said they would bring someone who I had a connection with. To get me to do what they told me. I didn’t believe them, because I didn’t know anyone, outside of Bucky and his stories of Steve. Then a day later, I heard screaming and crying and cursing, it was a woman’s voice. I thought they killed you when you suddenly stopped. They grabbed me from my cell and dragged me to the other table. You were unconscious and had a cloth on your face, so I never saw your face. I saw your body, and the soldiers laughed and said they were going to match us. But I wasn’t going to get a sedative at the end, because it was my fault that you were there." You looked at the ground even though you couldn’t see it from the tears.

You lifted your head and looked at Darcy. "It’s my fault, I should have been stronger. If I I just pushed myself up, this never would have happened. I'm so sorry Darcy, I'm sorry sorry sorry" you repeated falling on the floor, your legs giving out.

Suddenly there were hands on your face. "This is not your fault y/n, you didn't do this to me. They did. You lived there for almost your whole life. I can’t image what you've been through, but I know nothing of it was your fault. " Darcy said crying. She pulled you in a hug and you sat there together.

Steve stood up with Bucky and walked to Nat. All three of them were crying. Steve reached out and pulled Nat in a hug, and Bucky put his arms around Steve and Nat. You could hear them talking in soft tones but couldn’t make out what they were saying.  
Bucky nodded and went to the draw to pick to 2 shirts and walk toward you and Darcy.

"Darc, y/n, I've got shirts, let me help you." You two pulled away from each other while Bucky dressed you two. He opened his arms and both of you fell in his arms. "Stevie, call Clint." "Why?" Steve said dumbly. "Just do it."   
  


A few minutes later Clint was is the room. "What's happened here? Darcy what, Nat?" Clint couldn’t from a single sentence, he saw all of you crying, a pile of clothes on the floor and started himself when he saw Darcy and you.

"Oh God." He walked to Darcy and she fell in his arms. "Let's lie them down on the bed, they need to rest." Nat said through tears. Bucky and Clint lifted you two and placed you on the bed. You gravitated towards each other and pulled each other in a hug. You two cried and fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	11. Chapter 11

"What happened? Clint asked when they left you and Darcy. His voice was rough from holding back tears. "Y/n was scared to go shopping. She had a panic attack. She was talking about scars, and … Darcy told her about … her scars." Steve said softly, voice sad for all the pain you two suffered.

"Darce was so brave, Clint. She was so brave." Nat spoke between her tears. "It took her so long with us, to be comfortable again. And she, she..." Nat never openly showed her emotions so much, so Clint pulled Nat in his arms. "Shh Tasha, it's going to be okay."

"They both have the same scars, Clint. Y/n said it was her punishment, because she couldn’t move anymore, she couldn’t do what they told her to do. They took Darcy, because we are connected to Steve and Bucky. They even said it to y/n. Someone she had a connection with." Nat said heartbroken. "Oh God, our girls." Clint whispered on the verge of tears.

"Clint, we," Steve started, but was interrupted by Jarvis. "Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt, but Mr Stark and Doctor Banner are on their way to the apartment. Perhaps they could help with miss Darcy and miss Y/n?" "Thank you, Jarvis. Can you let them in?" Steve said, slightly annoyed he got interrupted again. "I need a drink," Nat said. "Same here" the others agreed.   
  
Tony and Bruce walked in joking, but when they saw the 4 of them, they turned serious. "What happened?" Tony said, without beating around the bush. "Remember Darcy got abducted a few years ago?" Steve said. Bruce and Tony nodded. "It was hydra. She was taken as punishment for y/n, because she couldn’t move from the pain and do what they told her to do. They have identical scars, exactly the same." Steve said defeated.

"Darcy has scars?" Bruce said surprised but also with hurt and pain because he didn’t know. "Yeah, she didn't want anyone to know." Clint said sadly. "But when y/n had her panic attack, she... she..." Nat started crying again. "She showed y/n her scars." Clint said filling their glass again.

"Why didn’t you two say anything to me?" Tony questioned Clint and Natasha. " I've upgraded the damn cradle when I recreated Doctor Cho’s. It heals scars, no matter how severe! I made it to help, to help the people I love." Tony started to breath strangely, starting to hyperventilate. He often did that when he was very emotional about the people he loved.

"Tony, calm down" Bruce said softly but firmly. "Bruce, all this time, and we didn't know. We didn’t know." Tony exclaimed. "But now we know, love, now we can help her, both of them." Bruce told him. Bruce wrapped his arms around Tony and sat with him in one the couch. Ever couple was in each other arms.

After a while Bucky spoke up, "You can really help them? Like fully?" "Yes, Barnes, we really can. I can start the machine up and running in 2 hours. It may hurt, because of the severity of their wounds, scars, but yeah. " Tony said. "We need to do it. For both of them. Not only for their appearance, but for their self-esteem and self-worth. They will always remember it, but they can look at the mirror without crying. "Clint said.

"Have them in the lab in 3 hours, together. So, they don’t have to go though it alone." Tony said, but Steve interrupted. "We are going with them, all of us," Steve said in his cap voice. " I know Steve, but they need each other. Because the share the same pain." Steve gaze softened. Tony never used Steve’s first name, only when his was this emotional and his walls were down. "I'm sorry Tony, I just..." Steve waved his hands and sighed. "I know Steve, it's okay. Come on Bruce, let's get started." And with that they walked out of the apartment.

"You two can wait here if you want, I know I'd want to stay close to y/n, given what happened and is going to happen." Bucky said. Clint and Nat nodded and murmured a thank you. They sat there in silence until 2 and a half hours were suddenly over. "We should wake ‘m," Bucky said softly. "Tell ‘m what's going to happen." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudo's and the comments!


	12. Chapter 12

After some debating, Clint was chosen to wake you and Darcy. Clint stood in front of your bedroom door, taking a breath before he would go in. He opened the door and had a soft smile when he saw you two still curled in on each other. He moved in the room without making a noise, he ended up on Darcy’s side.   
  
Clint brushed some hair from Darcy’s face. "Darcy, baby, it's time to wake up. Y/n, sweetie, it's time to wake up." He repeated himself till you started to stir. "No Clint, 5 more minutes" Darcy whined. "I'm tired." "I know, baby, but we have something important to say to you two. Come on." Clint said gently. "Okay okay,” Darcy yawned. “Y/n, are you awake?" "Mmm" you said and drew Darcy further in a hug. "Thank you, Darcy, for everything" you whispered. You opened your eyes and looked in Darcy’s eyes. She smiled at you and gave you a kiss on your forehead.

"Come on girls." Clint walked away to give you time to dress. "Darcy, if you want, I can grab some sweatpants of Bucky or Steve." You said. "They won’t mind?" Darcy asked. "If they do, I'll tell them how much you mean to me, and I wanted to make you comfortable. But we’ll probably have to turn the legs up, they are ridiculously tall." You smiled. Darcy laughed and that was something you needed to hear. 

“Who is Tasha by the way? I only saw you, Steve, Bucky and Nat in the room, but I heard someone say Tasha.” You asked Darcy. “That’s Nat, she has a few nicknames, we all do, as a matter of fact. Bucky’s is Cyborg, thanks to Tony, Steve is Capsickle, also thanks to Tony, Clint is Legolas, Thor is point break. There are more, Tony is creative like that.” Darcy grinned.   
  
When you left the bedroom, you saw Clint and Nat on one couch and Bucky and Steve on the other. "Hey doll" "Hey sweetheart" Bucky and Steve smiled at you. You went to sit on Steve's side but he scooted a bit to the left, so you sat between him and Bucky.   
  
"Girls, we have something we want to say to you. We are very proud of you two and we want to give you the best we can because you two deserve everything." Clint started. You snuggled better between Bucky and Steve, while giving Clint your attention. "When you two fell asleep, Tony and Bruce came by." You saw Darcy tens up and it made you tens up too. Bucky and Steve noticed and rubbed circles on your hands.

"We... aahh... told them, about your scars. Tony was really heartbroken when he heard it. I'm surprised he didn’t wake you with his yelling. He was so... so... he looked guilty. To know you two, have this for a few years now, while he could have helped." "How could tony have helped? He can’t kiss it better, Clint." Darcy said jokingly, but you all heard the humiliation and shame through her words.

"The cradle." Natasha said simply. "The what?" You said. "Tony and Bruce made a machine, it heals people. You know, with our line of work we get hurt a lot, Clint most of the time," Steve joked to lift the mood, to which Clint yelled "Hey", "It heals wounds and scars. Tony and Bruce are prepping the cradle. For you two." Steve said looking in your eyes. His eyes were so soft and full of love.

"Will it hurt?" You asked with a small voice. "I honestly don't know, normally it just tickles, but that's when scars and wounds are 'fresh'. " Clint said. "I want to try; I want to look at myself without remembering." Darcy said. "Y/n? Do you want to try?" Steve asked. You looked at Darcy and she gave you a little smile and nodded to you. "I'll be with you y/n, every step." She said. "Okay" you said while squeezing Bucky’s and Steve's hands.

"When will it happen?" Darcy asked. Steve looked at the clock on the wall. "In 10 minutes. We should probably go, so we can ask them some things," he said. You all stood up and headed to the lab. Nobody said anything. Nat, Clint and Darcy walked ahead of you Steve and Bucky. They walked hand in hand, like you, Steve and Bucky. It felt like seconds, suddenly you were in the lab.

"Hey you two. Welcome to my world!" Tony said just a bit to enthusiastically, while he spun around with wide arms. "This contraption here is the cradle, it will erase the scars you both have. Do you have any questions?" You shook your head and saw Darcy doing the same. "We do Tony", you heard Nat say. Tony walked to yours and Darcy’s soulmates.

Bruce walked towards you two. "Hey," Bruce said nervously. "Hey Bruce" you both murmured. "I just wanted to say, o boy, this is going to sound weird." Bruce said rubbing his neck with his hand. "Just say is Bruce, I know you would never hurt us." Darcy said. "But I might hurt you with what I'm going to say. When you go in the cradle, you have to be... aaa... naked. I'm not good with people I care for being hurt. So, when you two go in the cradle, I won’t look at you two. Because we don't need the hulk smashing the equipment. " Bruce said. "Not that I would look if you didn’t have scars, I mean you know, it's not, I." Bruce babbled. "Thank you, Bruce, for helping Darby and me. I hope I can repay you someday." Bruce smiled at you. "You don't need to do anything for me. Just be yourself and be amazing." He said. You and Darcy wrapped Bruce in a hug.   
  
"Let's get this show on the road! Who wants to go first?" Tony said with a clap in his hands. You nibbled your lip, just like Darcy. "Darcy, you need to go first." When you saw her trying to protest, you said "Please Darcy. I need you to go first. I know you don't think it's my fault, but I do. So please, please go first, i want you to be scar free first. Because I love you." Darcy had tears in her eyes.

"Damn girl. But when this is done, we are square. No debt, no nothing, do you hear me." Darcy said. You nodded, because you couldn’t speak without letting your tears fall. Darcy took your hands. "When we are done, we are going to watch Lilo and Stitch in the living room, we'll make a nest of pillows and blankets on the ground and lots of snacks and drinks. Promise?" "Promise" you said softly and drew her in a hug.

"Okay, let’s do this"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and the kudo's!


	13. Chapter 13

It took 4 hours for you and Darcy to be healed. When Darcy came out of the cradle, there were no scars on her body. She stood in front of the mirror and kept looking at herself and feeling were the scars were. “Baby, you need to put something on. I know you look amazing, but you are ours to see” Nat said playfully. Darcy looked at Nat and ran up to her. She fell in Natasha's and Clint’s arms and cried from happiness. 

You were so happy for Darcy. She looked amazing. You hoped you looked like that when you came out of the cradle. You were holding Steve and Bucky’s hands and was swinging a little. Bucky said your name and you smiled at him. “It worked Bucky, it worked.” You looked back at Darcy and saw her laughing with Nat and Clint. They all were so happy and you couldn’t stop smiling.

“I really love that smile, sweetheart,” Steve smiled at you. “You are beautiful. I’m so proud of you. We are so proud of you.” You let go of their hands to give Steve a big hug. His arms came around you and you felt so happy you could cry. A warm body came at your back, and Bucky whisper in your ear, “You are everything and more than I could ever wish for, you are so sweet and brave, beautiful, lovable, adorable, attractive and cute. I’m so glad we are yours and you are ours.”

You turned in their arms to face Bucky and gave him a kiss. It was a small one, but it said things that you couldn’t say. You craned your neck and gave Steve a kiss. You laid your head on Steve’s chest while looking in Bucky’s eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I knew where you were, I… I wish I wasn’t so scared back then. You, I’m with you two not even for a day and I feel so much better. I love you two, so so much.” The held you even tighter and whispered sweet things in your ears.

“Alright, my sweet goldy-locks, if you would be so kind.” Tony said. “ It’s your turn.” You looked at Tony and nodded. You walked to the cradle with Steve and Bucky. You were nibbling your lip and started shaking a little. “Darlin’, its going to be okay. Steve and I are here. We are with you till the end of the line.” Bucky smiled at you. “When you get out, you will feel a lot better. I love you, doll” Bucky said. “I love you, baby” Steve said. You looked at them and said, “I love you two, to the moon and back, my beautiful boys.” You blushed and couldn’t meet their eyes. But they both gave you a kiss, and you could feel their smile.

  
It didn’t hurt much, it tingled and tickled. On some more sensitive places it did hurt but is was nothing compared what you had been through. While you were in the cradle, you started thinking about your life. It was so much better in a short amount of time. You had your soulmates, you had a friend who was like a sister, a man who wanted to be the dad you never had, a woman who wanted to teach you self-defence, and 2 guys that helped you with your body in ways you couldn’t express. You felt so lucky, safe and loved. You didn’t imagine life could be like this.

Time went very fast, and soon enough you saw Tony’s face hovering above yours. “Hey, it has worked. You haven’t got any scars. You are free.” “ Am I?” you said with tears in your eyes. “Really? You’re not joking, are you?” “No, honey, I wouldn’t joke about this. You look perfect, and If I stand here any longer, I’m afraid your soulmates will kill me.” You cocked your head and furrowed your brows. “Your naked.” Realization when trough you and you blushed.

“Y/n, are you alright?” Bucky said from a distance. Tony smiled and left your side. You went to sit up and looked at your soulmates, your boys. You wanted to go to them and went to stand up. Your legs were a bit wobbly when you came out of the cradle. Bucky and Steve were by your side in a second. “Did it really help?” you asked looking at Bucky. “Did it actually work on me too?” Bucky nodded and let a tear fall. “It worked, darlin’ you haven’t got any scars, not one.“

You stood up and walked to the mirror. You could believe what you saw. You touched the mirror to see it was really you. “I’ve never seen myself without scares, I look so different. I look …normal.” “You are normal, sweetheart, you… you are perfect. With or without scars.” Steve said behind you. You turned around and took a few steps to Steve and Bucky. “I… I “you couldn’t say anything. You grabbed them and held them tightly while you cried. They whispered loving things to you and drew you in a hug.

“You need to get dressed, darlin’. I don’t want you to get sick. And I don’t want anyone ogling you.” Bucky said in your ear. You giggled and drew back from the hug. Steve had your clothes with him and Bucky helped you in them. You could do it on your own, but it was nice to have them do stuff for you. and they did it because they loved you.

  
"All right boys and girls, the party is over. Now let's go to the afterparty! 30 minutes, common room, PJs, and all the blankets and pillows you can carry. Dismissed! “Tony spoke lively. You could tell he was very glad it worked on both of you and he changed your lives in a huge way. He and Bruce left first, then Natasha, Clint and Darcy. Steve and Bucky grabbed your hands and smiled at you. You kissed their hands and went back to the apartment.   
  
Once in the apartment, Steve and Bucky pulled you in a hug again. "You were so brave sweetheart" "you did amazing doll" they told you. You squeezed them because you didn’t know what to say. When you pulled back from the hug, you gave them a toothy smile. "Thank you, for everything. I really, really appreciate it all. I hope someday I will do something to show you that." "Doll, you don't have to do anything, we don’t want anything, only you. We love you. Just be you, you are perfect the way you are." Bucky said with so much love and adoration, you were speechless. You just hugged them tighter.


	14. Chapter 14

The three of you changed in your pjs and gathered up as much pillows and blankets as you could carry. “I guess now I can go shopping. Do you think they would still want to take me?” “Of course, they will, doll. I’ll even bet if Pepper was here, she would want to go to, she absolutely loves shopping. You would probably go tonight.” Bucky joked. Steve laughed and shaked his head.

“What, is true! Doors open when Pepper or Tony is involved.” “And not for me? I am captain America you know, America’s golden boy.” Steve smirked. “Golden boy, my ass. If they knew what a punk you are, they would,” “They would what, Bucky-boy? ”Steve tackled him to the round and started tickling him. Bucky was screaming with laughter; it was a sound you could use as your ringtone. It was wonderful. “I yield, I yield!!”Bucky yelled. Steve sat next to Bucky and they punched each other’s shoulder.

“Come on jerk, we have to go, don’t we sweetheart.” You whipped the tears from your eyes and gazed lovingly at them and nodded. Steve stood up and made other tickely-hands gesture to Bucky. “Go away, punk!” Bucky said with laughter in his voice. Bucky watched Steve leave the room and looked at you. As soon as you looked eyes, he looked down.

"Y/n?" Bucky said, "Can I ask you something?" You watched Bucky and noticed he was nervous and afraid of your answer. "Sure Bucky" you answered. You saw his gears turning in his head.

"Did I... did I ever hurt you, when I was... you know... the winter soldier?" Bucky looked at his feet, you couldn’t see his face, his hair was like a little curtain. You walked up to him and sat down with him. You lifted your hands towards his cheeks. You lifted his head and pulled his hair out of his face.

"No, handsome, you never hurt me. You never lifted a finger to hurt me. You never physically, mentally or emotionally hurt me. Everything that happened to me, is Hydra’s fault. I got hurt because of them. Never, ever by you. You got that? You were always my hero, even when they wiped you, and you didn’t remember me, a part of you did. They never got you to hurt me." you smiled at him. Bucky looked in your eyes with every word you said, he saw the truth in your eyes, the love you had for him.

He slowly started smiling, "Me? Your hero? Even when I wasn’t me?" "Yeah Bucky, you were and still are _My_ hero. Bucky, I love you." Bucky pulled you in a warm and bone crushing hug. He jumped to his feet with you in his arms and made circles with you. "O sweetheart, darlin’, I love you, I love you I love you I love you.”

“Come here you punk." You saw Steve standing by the wall, not knowing if he should. "Bucky" you whispered and you pulled away. Bucky set you on your feet and let you lose, wondering what you were going to do. You made your way to Steve. He was looking at you with love, but also with a hint fear. “I know that you two would never hurt me, super soldier or not.” You said looking back at Bucky. “Not with your strength, not with your metal arm, or with your voice. You guys, I trust you, I can count on one hand how many people I actually, truly trust. And you are among them. You are sharing first place,” You smiled.

When you stood in front of Steve, you hovered your hand on his chest, not quite touching. "Steve, may I touch you?" Steve's eyes widened but he nodded. You place your hand on his chest and the other on his cheek. "Steve, I know we don't know each other that well, but growing up, Bucky used to tell me about you, when he had memories of the past. I fell in love with the Steve he knew, but seeing you, actually interacting with you, I feel all warm when I think about you. I love you."

Tears suddenly fell on Steve cheeks. "I love you too y/n. Bucky used to tell me about you too, and I fell in love with you too. But having you here, with us, with me, I would do anything for you, I love you y/n." You and Steve wrapped each other in a hug.

"Come here you jerk" you heard Steve say. Bucky snorted, but pulled you two in a hug. 


	15. Chapter 15

"Excuse me, but mister Stark says to get your butt to the common room" Jarvis said suddenly. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Jarvis?" Bucky said with a glimmer in his eyes. "No sir, as I don't have a physical form, I can’t kiss anyone. And because I am an AI, I don't have parents. Mr stark comes closest, because he created my programming." Jarvis explained. 

"So, by your logic, if you’d have a physical from, you would kiss Tony?" Bucky smirked. "Bucky, stop annoying Jarvis. We have to go." Steve said. You giggled at them and let go of them. "Come on guys, I want to see the movie. Have you seen it?" "No, we haven't. Darcy is a big Disney fan; she always quotes things from the movies." Steve said, while you were walking towards the couch to grab the pillows and blankets.

"Most movies have songs in 'm, she sings your ears off sometimes. Clint takes his hearing aids out when it gets annoying." Steve laughed, and made you and Bucky laugh as you made your way to the common room.

There was already a big pile on the floor and you the added your stuff. "Come on, come on!" Darcy yelled. "We’ve got popcorn, sweets, fizzy drinks. Tony's ordered Chinese for after the movie." Everyone got seated, but you were still standing next to the pile. "Come here, doll. " Bucky smirked mischievous, rising his hand. You put your hand in his and suddenly you were in Bucky’s lap, with your legs on Steve's. "Got you" Bucky whispered in your ear, while Steve caressed your lower legs. You giggled at them, while shaking your head. "Jarvis, if you would do the honours." Tony said gracefully. The TV went on, and the movie started.  
  
You all laughed while you watched Stitch learning and cried when Stitch was sad, alone because he didn’t have family. You loved all the Elvis songs, you even sang some along with Darcy, Clint, Tony and Bruce. You grabbed your phone and went to your notes to add the Elvis-songs to your list.

When the movie finished, Darcy turned to you. "Did you get why I wanted to show you this movie? You belong with us, y/n, you are ohana. “Darcy smiled at you. "Thank you, Darcy." You said, scrambling out of Bucky’s lap to give her a hug. 

"What movie are we playing next, Darce?" you asked eagerly. Darcy was deep in thought. "Well, uuu. Oww so many choices. Lion king, Peter Pan, Jungle Book. All classics. But I want a funny one. I got it!! Robin Hood!!" "O God no, Nat please, don't let her put that on, she’ll call me Robin for the next 2 weeks." Clint whined. "Oh Clint, I don't know. Perhaps there will be something in for you later" Natasha winked at Clint. Clint had a sappy smile and curled around Natasha and gave her a kiss.

"Eww gross, save that for another time, Robin" tony said. "You're just jealous Pepper isn’t here." Clint said. "Why is Tony jealous this time, Clint?” you heard a voice coming from the other side of the room. 

“I've found a cat in our apartment, care to tell me where he comes from Tony?" pepper asked looking at the food on the pillows. “It’s not mine! I only bring human strays. This cat belongs to y/n. He is supposed to be in their apartment.” Tony glared at the three of you.

  
“I'm sorry. I thought he was locked in the bedroom.” You said wringing your hands. “Did he damage something? I promise I'll repay you if he did.” Pepper waved her hands and smiled at you. “O no, y/n, he didn’t damage anything. He was sleeping on Tony's pillow. Look.“ She showed her phone to you. “He loves to sleep on pillows, I don’t understand how he got out.” You said.

"Clint, what did you do?” You heard Bruce say when Clint was busy looking very innocent but failing. “Why do you always assume it’s me?! Why can’t he run off on his own?!” Clint said with wide eyes.

“Clint,” Nat started with an interrogating voice. “Alright, alright. I took him or a trip in the vents. I thought he might like it, get a feeling for the place. He ran off!!” The group started laughing and all of your nerves were gone.

“Where is Cutie now?” you asked Pepper. “He’s still asleep on Tony’s pillow. He looked so sweet., Cutie is a good name for him.” She smiled at you. “Come on Pep, sit down. We’re going to watch Robin Hood.” Darcy said. “Ooww, that’s a long time ago,” Pepper winked.

“Long?? Only two bloody weeks ago?” Clint whined. “So, for a one-day-fly it’s a long time.” Bruce said. “Why does no one ever stand on my side?” Clint pouted. “Because your easy to rill up” Steve smiled innocently. “Can it, Rogers”. Clint said making all of you laugh.

“Start her up, J,” Darcy said. The movie started and you saw why Tony called Clint Robin. When the movie was finished, Jarvis voice filled the room. "Sir, the delivery man is downstairs." Jarvis informed Tony. "Right, Bruce, get your cute ass of the floor and come along" Tony said. Bruce blushed and murmured something you couldn't hear, but Bucky and Steve did apparently, because you felt their body shake a little bit. When they got back, everyone stood up to go to the dinner table. You stood up from Bucky’s lap and walked over to Tony.

“Hey Tony, can I ask you something?” You said softly. “Course, kid, what can I do for you?” Tony said. You grabbed your phone. “You know the whistle in the beginning of Robin Hood?” Tony nodded. “Can you help me to get it as Clint’s ringtone? I don’t know if its allowed.” “Give me your phone kid.” Tony took your phone and with a few minutes he was done. “Here you go, goldy-locks. I’ve added all our numbers too.” Thanks Tony.” You beamed at him. Tony smiled at you and put his arm around your shoulder, guiding you back to the rest.

“Hey Clint, do you have y/n’s phone number? Tony smirked at Clint. “No not yet., why?” Clint asked. “Tony put all of your numbers in my phone, ill text you all, so you’ll have mine” you smiled and did it right away.

“Done. Clint, can you call me? Just to know it worked.” You smiled innocently. Clint grabbed his phone and called you. Suddenly you all heard the whistling from Robin Hood. everyone was crying with laughter. “That is a great idea, y/n!” Darcy laughed and grabbed her phone to change her ringtone. “Done.” She laughed. Clint shaked his head but had a smile on his face to. “Y/n Sweetie, you are going to be the death of me.”


	16. Chapter 16

“Hey Darcy, Nat, do you two have anything to do tomorrow?” You said looking at them. They shaked their heads and waited for you to continue. “Do you still want to go shopping with me?” you asked nervously. “Of course, we will! Hey Pep, do you want to come to?” Darcy said. “You’re asking me??? Since when do you need to ask me? Just give me the time and I'll be ready.” Pepper grinned. Bucky leaned over, “You see,” he whispered. “How about 10? We can have a little sleep-in and meet down here.” “It’s a date.” Nat said reaching over to grab a dumpling. 

You suddenly felt tired and started to yawn. “Do you want to rest, sweetheart?” Steve asked looking at you. You nodded and started to gather your plate and cutlery. “Darlin’, leave it, lets go,” Bucky said. “But..” you started. “Leave it, y/n, we’ll do it. Go to bed, doctors’ orders.” Bruce smiled. “How can I argue with that? Thank you for a wonderful evening. Goodnight.”you smiled at Bruce and the rest.

Together you walked back to the apartment. When Bucky opened the door, you started to get nervous again. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to be nervous. You can sleep in the same bed, and Bucky and I will sleep in our room. If you want we can stay with you, of if in the middle of the night you want to be close to us, you can come to us. Okay?” Steve said looking in your eyes and rubbing down your arms. “Thank you Stevie. Is it okay if I take a bath before going to bed?” “Baby, this is your home, you never have to ask if you can do anything. You don’t need our permission.”

You smiled up at Steve and saw Bucky standing looking from the corner of your eye. You looked over at Bucky, “Did Steve just give me permission to paint the walls pink?” you winked. “I think he did,” Bucky beamed. He was so proud that your walls were coming down and you started to make jokes.

“Please not pink, what’s wrong with this color?” Steve asked looking around. “Grey? Steve get with the times, why not a soft yellow, like a summers day yellow.” “She’s right Steve, when we moved in, we said we would paint it, but we never did.” Bucky said walking closer. “Why not take a look at paint samples tomorrow when you get back.” Steve rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder while still holding you. 'Really, i was just joking you know." You said. "Sweetheart, your right. We'll pick a color tomorrow and can start painting when it is deliverd. Or we can hire someone."Steve suggested."Can we paint it ourselfs?" "Course we can." Bucky smiled. "I dont want stangers in our home anyway." 

“Do you think the girls would mind if I went by the store to give my uniform back and collect my pay?” you said looking at Bucky. “They wont mind. Do you have WhatsApp on your phone?" You shaked your head. “Can I?” Bucky said. You gave him your phone and told him your password. Steve laughed at your password. “What? Bucky is my hero, so obviously I choose hero as my password. Guess now I have to change it tough.” Bucky looked at you puzzled “Why?” “I need to make it ‘myheros’, don’t I?” “Sweetheart, never change, you are wonderful.” Steve said kissing your cheek and Bucky kissed the other side.

“Go and have a bath, baby. Our door is open if you want.” You smiled at them and gave them a kiss on their cheeks. “I’ll remember. Goodnight.” “Goodnight sweetheart.” “G’night, darlin’.” Steve and Bucky said simultaneously.

You walked to the room you stayed in last night and closed the door. You let out a sigh and thought of your warm bath. There was a bathroom attached to your room, and you couldn’t wait to explore it.

You opened the door and saw the biggest bath you’ve ever seen. _Five people can fit in there!_ You turned on the taps and started to look around. You saw yourself in the mirror. The mirror was full length, and you nibbled your lip while you thought. You looked at the bath and back at the mirror.

Slowly you walked closer to the mirror and looked at your face. The scars on your face were gone. On your neck, gone. You took of your clothes and looked again. No scares on your body. You almost touched the glass to see better. _It worked, it really worked!!_

You climbed in the nice hot bath and started to cry from happiness. You touched all the places you once had scars and started laughing out loud. You were so happy, you sat back and enjoyed your bath.

“Uhm Jarvis? Are you here too?” you spoke softly, it was strange to talk with no one in the room but getting an answer. “Yes miss, I am here. How can I assist you?” Jarvis said. “I suppose I have a weird question for you.” “Miss, no question is weird enough for me. After all, I am made by Mr Stark you know.” you smiled at his answer.

“Can you play some songs for me? If its okay?” “Yes miss, what would you like to hear?” you squealed with delight. “A new group I just discovered. Human Nature. Can you play the Jukebox vol. 2?” “Of course, miss. Shall I pick the first song?” “Yes please, thank you Jarvis.”

Right away a great song started to play, ‘Higher and Higher’. You sang along with every song Jarvis played for you. You skipped a few so Jarvis new which you would like best. After a song or 15, you finally got out of the bath. “Thank you, Jarvis, you are amazing!” you smiled. “Well, I try.” Jarvis said smugly. _Ow an attitude, awesome._

You dried yourself and put on your own nightwear. “Goodnight, Jarvis.” “Goodnight miss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudo's!  
Please leave comments, love to hear 'm😊💖


	17. Chapter 17

You fell asleep quite quickly. But your dreams were not restful. You twisted and turned. Suddenly you woke up and breathed heavily. You calmed your breath and started to cry.  
  
"Miss, are you okay?" Jarvis asked. You sniffled and murmured a no. "Captain Roger's and sergeant Barnes told you you could go to them. Do you want to go to them or should I call them to you?" You debated your options. You didn't want to stay here. "I'm going to them. Thank you, Jarvis. "   
  
You got up and walked over to Steve's and Bucky’s bedroom. The door was open a little bit and you opened the door a little further. You saw Bucky and Steve curled in on each other and didn’t know what to do. You didn’t want to wake them; they needed their sleep too.   
  
"Darlin', is everything alright?” Bucky asked without moving. He didn’t want to scare you by moving suddenly. "Nightmare." You whispered. Bucky let go of Steve and pulled the blankets back a bit. "Come here, darlin'," Bucky said. You slowly made your way to Bucky’s side. “I don’t know if I should,” you whispered. “If you want, we can go grab some snacks and watch some cartoons,” Bucky suggested. “I’d like that.”

Bucky stepped out of bed and took your hand. “Come on darlin’, let’s find some snacks.” He grabbed his shirt of the bedroom floor and walked with you to the kitchen. The kitchen was huge. It had an old school vibe. Pots and pans from the ceiling. Brown cabinets, marble-like countertops. A fridge with 2 doors and a sink with 2 sides.

You saw Bucky put on his shirt and couldn’t help admiring the way his body moved. Bucky caught you staring and soon you locked eyes. You blushed and looked away but had a small smile. “Darlin’, you don’t have to be embarrassed. You are allowed to look. I mean, I looked at you earlier today”, You whipped your head to his face with wide eyes, “And I really liked what I saw.” Bucky said with a hint of lust in his eyes. “Buckyyy,” you whined, “don’t do that, not yet anyway” you ducked your head at the last part. You heard his snigger but heard him open a cabinet.

"Here I have candy, chocolate, cookies. Ooh chocolate chip cookies, definitely taking that. We have some chips, plain and my favourite cheese union, and salsa in the fridge. Have you ever eaten salsa before?" “No, what is it?" you asked looking at the snacks gathering on the counter. "It's a dip for chips, Steve loves it. Its sacrilege to have dip on your chips, but if that punk likes it. I like peanut butter and banana sandwich, so who am I?" Bucky laughed.

"I'm sorry, can't say I like that combo. But can I try the salsa? What do you have for drinks?" "With the chocolate chip cookies, we need tea, and we have chocolate milk orange juice, Coca-Cola, strong drinks but not for tonight. Tonight, we just enjoy yourself old school. I'll start making the tea, if you take everything to the couch?" "Will do. Those cookies look good. Wont Steve mind if we take the salsa?" You asked taking the goodies to the couch.

"If you'll like it, he will have someone to share it with. Only Clint likes it, but he isn’t allowed to eat it from Nat, so..." Bucky laughed. "Why isn’t he allowed to eat it?" "If you smell it later, you'll know. Kissing someone who just ate salsa is really a labour of love." Bucky winked and smiled at you. You smiled at him and waited for him to make the tea.   
  
With two big steaming cups in one hand, Bucky held your waist with the other. "Were do you want to sit, darlin' left or right?" You looked at the couch, "Doesn't matter, you?" "I'll sit on the left if that's okay?" Bucky asked. "Sure, is ah… is it okay to snuggle up?" You nervously asked looking at the snacks on the table. "Of course, doll, snuggling on the couch it is." Bucky grinned at you.   
  
"I'm going to grab a blanket; you make yourself comfortable." Bucky said, walking to the bedroom. While he was away you settled in and open the box with chocolate chip cookies. They smelled delicious. You had your eyes closed and a smile on your face as you inhaled the smell again.

"They ever taste better, darlin'," Bucky said walking back and picking up the remote. He settled beside you and went on Disney+. "When I got my memory back, I remembered my mom telling me and my sisters’ stories of a bear, and his friends. Turns out that they made a whole show of it. Don't tell anyone, but I always watch it when Steve's away on mission. It takes me back sometimes. I'd love to share it with you. If you like it, I even have the books of it to read." Bucky said excited.

"Doesn't it hurt, remembering?" You asked with a small voice. "It did in the beginning, but Stark helped me to find out what happened to my family. Turns out I'm a very rich uncle, my sisters all got kids, who also got kids. They live all over the place, but once a year they all get together, and remember them. Is good to know they're lives turned out alright." You smiled at him. "I'm really happy for you Bucky. Shall we watch the bear then?" Bucky smiled at started fiddling with the remote and suddenly you saw a cute bear having adventures.

You grabbed your tea while Bucky grabbed the cookies. "Its best if you dip them for 3 seconds and quickly put it in your mouth." You tried it and moaned. "Oh Bucky, this is great. Can I have another?" "Everything here is yours, sunshine; you don't have to ask." "Sorry" you said sheepish. "No need to be, come here." Bucky opened his arm and you blinked at him. He grabbed your tea and sat it on the ground. He grabbed your waist and turned you a little and set you right next to him. He put a blanket over both your legs and gave you your tea back. Then he grabbed his tea, put his feet on the table and let out a sigh.

"Life doesn't get a lot better than this. Sitting here with my best girl, while watching Winnie the Pooh, with lots of snacks and a cup of tea and that gorgeous punk sleeping in the bedroom. I love my life. " he said looking down at you. He had a sappy smile, kissed your forehead and together you watched Winnie the Pooh.

  
Steve found you two in the morning, with you safely tucked in Bucky’s arms sleeping on the couch. He smiled at you two and walked away to get his sketchbook. He smiled all the while sketched you both sleeping peacefully. Life doesn't get any better than this he thought by himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudo's!


	18. Chapter 18

You woke up to the smell of pancakes. You inhaled a large sniff and smiled. You stretched from head to toe and noticed a warm body against your front and something cold on your waist and back. You opened your eyes and blue ones stared right back at you. You stared at each other and smiled.

"Mornin', doll. Sleep well?" Bucky softly said rubbing his hand on your back. "Morning Bucky, yes I did, thank you, you?" You blushed. "I slept wonderful. I.." "If the two of you are awake, I’ve got pancakes, sticky buns and croissants." Steve said from the kitchen. You would have fallen from the couch if Bucky’s arm wasn’t around you.

"My god, you scared me, Steve.“ you said getting up. You straightened your clothes and held your hand out to Bucky. "Couldn’t you just have come closer and looked if we were up? Or do you like to scare us?" You mock glared at him. Steve laughed and turned to grab the last things. Bucky took your hand and together you walked to the table.

“Where is the fun in that?” Steve laughed. “Come on, I've made pancakes, croissants and I have sticky buns. There is fruit and nice coffee and tea. Darcy and Nat said they’re going to get here in an hour or so, so come on. Get your butts over here.” “Very polite way to ask a girl over, Stevie. Don't mind him darlin', he doesn't know how to talk to a lady,” Bucky scolded playfully.

"Guess you'll have to teach him, won’t you?" You winked at Bucky. "O, just you wait sweetheart, you just haven’t seen me in action yet." Steve winked at you. "Come on, breakfast." You smiled at them and sat down on right side of the table. Steve sat on the head and Bucky left from him.

"It smells wonderful Steve. Why doesn’t he say you can’t cook? It looks perfect to me," you smiled at Steve. Bucky huffed, "I think you did a speed cursus in cooking. Just last week he burnt everything." "Need to know only" Steve tapped his nose. You grabbed a few pancakes and put sirup on one and powdered sugar on the other. You smiled between bites ”Steve, you’ve outdone yourself again.” You grabbed another pancake and ate it with the sirup and powdered sugar that fell of your other pancakes on your plate .

"How did the two of you end up on the couch?" Steve asked when he grabbed his second croissant. "I had a nightmare." you said softly. "I went to your room and Bucky was awake. He suggested we’d watch some cartoons. I really like Winnie the pooh." you smiled. "Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Bucky asked when he gave you and Steve a bowl of fruit. "I dreamed about being in your room, back then, in the….thing. I was talking to you when you were asleep. They found me and started hitting me." You said pushing your fruit around the bowl. “I woke up and I had to see if you were okay.”

Bucky sighed, " I wish I could have helped you. I was there." "You were, but you weren't Bucky. Do you remember when you fought back, they broke my arm?" Bucky nodded sadly. "What happened? Steve asked. "I refused to do something, and Bucky came to help me. They tasered him and broke my arm to teach us both a lesson. Bucky wasn’t allowed to help me and I should do what they say. It was then I started calling Bucky my hero" you smiled at them both.

"Doll, I just can’t understand how you can see me like a hero when I was the reason you got hurt so much." Bucky said. "Because you always tried to help me. You were always in my corner." You put your hand on his and smiled at him.

Suddenly you stood up and walked over to hug Bucky. "My hero" you whispered in his ear. He nuzzled in your neck and just hugged you for a few moments. You felt Bucky smirking in your neck and in an instant, you sat on Bucky’s lap. "Got you" Bucky winked. "Yes, you do." you said and kissed his nose. You blushed but smiled and reached out to Steve. "Both of you." Steve smiled at you and kissed you knuckles.

You reached over to get your bowl of fruit and started eating while you sat on Bucky’s lap. “What kind of stores will Darcy and Nat take me, you think?” You asked. “They like all kinds of styles. You’ll see all kinds of stores. From Primark to Victoria’s secret. From a normal drugstore to a high-class beauty salon.” Bucky said. “I have to ask you one thing though. Darcy is a big fan of Star Wars and I’m not. I’m more of a Star Trek fan. Please don’t let her buy you a Star Wars shirt or something like that.” Bucky whined and put his head between your shoulder blades.

“I won’t buy any Star Wars stuff; can you show me Star Trek sometime?” You asked, “I’ve heard of it, but never seen it.” “Yes, definitely. I’ll ask Phil and Happy to come too, there huge fans. We’ll make a day of it.” Bucky excitedly said. You smiled and hummed at him.

“Steve, is there something you don’t want me to buy?“ you asked looking at Steve. “I..uuhh.. you have to buy what you want; I can’t tell you what you can and can’t buy.” “Your telling me, you’d let her walk around in an angry bird sweater? I think not. He hates those birds.” Bucky fake whispered that last part in your ear.

Steve was in deep thought you could see it in his eyes. “I wouldn’t like it no, but if you like them you must buy them.” He smiled at you. “Don’t worry, Steve, I don’t like them either.” Steve beamed at you and kissed your knuckles again.

“Miss Darcy and Miss Natascha are approaching the front door,” Jarvis said. “Thank you, Jarvis, can you let them in.” Steve said. You still looked around the room looking where the voice came from, when Darcy and Nat walked in.

“Morning guys, whatcha eating?” Darcy said, plumping down on a chair. “Oww Steve, you made pancakes, yummy.” She grabbed the plate with the last 3 pancakes and filled her plate with fruit and sprinkled powdered sugar over them.

Nat sat down on the end of the table and grabbed the croissant of Steve’s plate. “Hey!” he glared at Nat. “You snooze, you lose, you old fossil.” You sniggered at that and felt Bucky holding in his laughter.

“Steve, you have to make this for dinner sometime. I think these are better than Clint’s.” Darcy moaned. “How can you all like his food all of a sudden? It was never this good.” Bucky said annoyed. “Spoilers,” Nat winked at Bucky. “Y/n, we have a long day ahead, are you ready for it?” Nat smiled at you. “I’m ready Nat, gotta change first, but I’m ready.” You grinned at her.

“Come Y/n,” Darcy said standing up and walking around you and grabbed your hand, “Shopping time!!!” You walked together to your room. Steve and Bucky smiled at you and when you were out of sight, they looked at Nat. “Nat, I know I don’t have to say it, but please take care of her.” Bucky said softly so you couldn't hear if you two were eavesdropping.

“Buck, I..” Nat looked down at her lap. “I will do anything to protect her. That’s why I want to teach her a bit of self-defence. Clint and I have started training Darcy, when she … after she was healed enough to start. I don’t want our girls to feel helpless. This way I can help them before anything starts. Because if I can’t be there if something happens and I wasn’t there and I didn’t teach them some things, I would…”

Suddenly Jarvis voice filled the room again. “Miss Potts is waiting for you in the common room miss Natascha.” “Thanks Jarvis, tell her were coming.” Nat said. You and Darcy walked back and were laughing at something at on Darcy’s phone. ”Cutie is so lazy sometimes. I had a mouse for him and he looked at it, turned around and went back to sleep.” You laughed.

“Come on, you two, Pepper is waiting, lets go!” Nat pushed the two of you to the door, while you two were still laughing. “Have fun, sweetheart!” Steve yelled. “No Star Wars, doll, have fun!” Bucky yelled. “No Star Wars got it! Love you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a big Star Trek fan, no way my guys are going to like star wars.
> 
> Thanks for the kudo's and the comments!


	19. Chapter 19

"Hi Pepper, here we are!" Darcy sang. "Morning, are you girls ready for some serious shopping?" "Hell yeah," Darcy said, while Nat and you nodded. "Come on then, Happy is waiting downstairs." You all chatted about nothing while you went in the elevator. You still were in amazement with the elevator ceiling.   
  
When you got out of the elevator, you saw Happy standing beside a limo. "Good morning miss Potts, Natasha, Darcy and miss y/n. Where off to first?" Happy said opening the door. "Good morning Happy. Well, first we are going to that little boutique, where Tony almost got thrown out, remember?" Pepper laughed. Happy had a smile on his face. "I remember that alright. Okay, let's go." "Um, could we stop at the place where I used to work. I want to get rid of my uniform and collect my wages." You said looking at the limo. "Sure, but you are not going in alone. We are all coming with you," Nat said. "Good," you smiled.   
  
The ride made you nervous. You didn’t want to go to that place ever again, but you had to. When you arrived, Happy opened the door and you all stepped out. You leaded the group, with Happy behind. You opened the door and walked over to the office of your boss. The girls and Happy stood a bit to the side, so your boss couldn’t see them straight away.  
  
You knocked, suddenly the door opened. "Oh, it's you. I said end of the week y/n, why are you here now?!" "I was in the neighbourhood and wanted to finish this today." You replied. "Well I'm sorry, but you can’t have your wages just get, I... " you looked at him to continue, but saw his attention was somewhere else. "Get out of the way!" your boss snapped and shoved you aside.  
  
"Good morning, miss Potts, how wonderful to have you in my diner this morning." Your boss said in his slimy voice. "We are not here for pleasantries. Our y/n is returning her uniform and collecting her wages. Now, do we do this the easy way or the hard way?" Pepper smiled at your boss. He turned around, looked at you and the bag in your hand. "That's it?" He pointed at the bag. "Yes, this ..." He walked to you and grabbed the bag out of your hands. He went in the office and threw the bag in the corner. He taped a few things in the computer, stood up and walked to the till. "Here, and don't come back" he growled at you and slammed the door of his office.  
  
Nat came to you, threw her arm around your shoulder and steered you out the diner. "Thank you, for coming with me," you said softly. "No need to thank us, sweetie, that's what's friends are for." Nat said kissing your forehead.You all walked to the limo, laughing when Darcy talked about your ex-boss. Happy opened the door for you all and said to you, "Well done, miss y/n. You did great." You beamed at him, "Please call me y/n, Happy." Happy smiled at you and nodded. "Alright... y/n." You laughed and stepped in the limo.  
  
"What is this place Tony almost got thrown out from?" You said looking at Pepper. "It’s a boutique that helps you with getting the perfect underwear. To have the best fit and style to wear. Tony kept annoying the girl that helped me and she almost threw him out." Pepper laughed at the memory. "So that's the first place we’re going to, we are going to get a whole new wardrobe for you today." You spluttered, "I thought we… we we're just going to buy some clothes." "Just go with it, y/n, everything is going to be great" Darcy said bumping your shoulder.  
  
The boutique was quiet, and you didn’t know where to look. There was so much on display, normal bras and panties, but also things that made you blush. "Hey y/n, I think Bucky and Steve will like this," Darcy said holding up a black lace garter belt. "And it has a matching bra and thong." Your face went red and looked somewhere else. She laughed and walked over to you. "There is nothing wrong with having nice things y/n. And besides, its sexy." She winked.  
  
"Welcome, miss Potts," a blond woman said to Pepper. "Thank you, Katherine. We are here today for y/n. Y/n, this is Katherine. She is going to help you with your correct size and recommend what you can wear what's best for you." Pepper smiled at you. You gave Katherine a small smile and shook her hand. "Darcy, you can stay with me, right?" You pleaded with your eyes to Darcy. "'Course girl, then I know what looks best on you, if the boys ever want to surprise you." She winked. "You are terrible." You laughed.  
  
"What? It’s awful for you and them if they buy you something that doesn't fit right. Remember Nat, with Clint." Nat smiled. "That was terrible, I told him it wasn’t your colour or style, but he didn’t listen." "I looked like an.." "Darc, no, that's between us. Remember." Nat raised her perfectly style eyebrow. Darcy gulped. "Yes Tasha. Sorry." "Good girl. Now, go with y/n, while Pepper and I look around for y/n. Y/n, is there a color you don't want to wear." "I don’t like neon colours, animal prints and bold things." Pepper and Nat nodded and walked away together.  
  
"Darcy, I.." you started. "Miss y/n, if you would change in here, I'll be with you in 5 minutes. There’s a robe in there you can put on." "Thank you." You walked in the change in room and changed in the robe. You peeked your head out of the stall and saw Darcy taking a picture of you. "I knew you were going to do that!" Darcy laughed hysterically. "I'm going to send this to your geriatrics." "No!! Darcy don’t!!" You yelled and jumped on her to grab her phone.  
  
While you two were wrestling for the phone, Nat and Pepper walked to you with their hands full. "What the... stop it. You'll get us thrown out." Pepper half yelled furiously. "Please don’t send that picture Darcy." "What picture?" Nat’s voice was sharp. "I knew she would poke her head out and I took a picture. What's wrong with that?"  
  
"Darcy, give me your phone." Nat demanded. Darcy gave her the phone and she tapped on it. "Deleted. You know better that that Darcy. I'm disappointed in you. I’ll talk to Clint about your behaviour. " “Yes, Tasha, I’m sorry y/n. I wasn’t going to send it, I just... I was just joking.”  
  
"Why do you have all those things? She hasn't measured me yet." You asked Nat and Pepper. "I'm a spy, I know things. But Pepper wants to know if I know my stuff. So, Katherine is going to measure you and then you can test these things." Nat playfully glared at Pepper and smiled at you. "You should really believe Nat, Pepper. She knows what's she talking about." Darcy said, picking her nails. "I'll believe it when I see it. Katherine, y/n is ready for you."  
  
"Okay y/n, if you step in the stall please." You followed Katherine and let her so her thing. It was embarrassing, and you were glad it was over. You put your robe on when you done and walked over to Nat. "Nat, can I ask you something?" "Of course. What is it?" "Can...can I have a hug? I… " "You never have to ask for a hug, sweetie. We all need it sometime." Nat gave you a hug and held you long enough you relaxed again.  
  
When she drew back, she saw you had been crying. She wiped your tears with her hands. "It’s okay, sweetie. When we are done here, we are going to the drive thru and get some food in us. Then well go shopping for clothes. Okay?" Nat said to you encouraging. You let out a breath. "Okay."  
  
And you walked back to the stall. "O Pepper. Katherine told me to tell you, Nat was right." "Yeess!" Nat screeched. "I mean, Pepper I told you." Nat said looking at her nails. "Mm, here y/n. Try these on. If you don’t like m, it doesn't matter. If you do like them, give ‘m to us and well set them apart."  
  
After half an hour you had a pile of bras and panties that fitted right, 3 baby dolls and 2 sets of the set Darcy showed you, one in black and one on white. And 4 sets of stockings in different colours. Pepper gave you a set to put on, while she and Nat were going to pay. your old panties and bra had mysteriously disappeared. Darcy waited for you outside the stall.  
  
"Hey Darc, are you going to be in trouble?" You asked. "Well, yes and no. I get a few spankings from Clint and later we’ll have an amazing night. It's not so bad. I'm sorry for what I did to you though." Darcy explained. _spankings? Awesome night? What is she talking about. I'll ask her later._"I know how you can make it up to me" you said opening the stall, "Help me find Disney pyjamas. Then I'll forgive you." You grinned. "Deal" she said and shook your hand. "Come let's go. I'm feeling like some French fries and an energy drink.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudo's and the comments!


	20. Chapter 20

“I love these French fries, and that sauce. Can we eat here more?” you said between bites. “We certainly can, I love eating there.” Darcy smiled at you. “They do have the best drive-thru,” Nat said slurping her milkshake.

The ride to the next store was something you always wanted. Girls that talked to you and trusted you. You learned that Pepper’s love for Tony and Bruce was very sweet and pure. It was difficult for her sometimes, because Tony could be a lot to handle and Bruce isolated himself from Tony and her when he had been the Hulk. Pepper had seen a therapist to cope with it all, and she said it helped her a lot.

“Do you... do you find it difficult to talk to someone about that? Does it help?” You asked Pepper, twisting your soda in your hand. “It is difficult, but it does help. Sam helped me get in touch with someone, who would be discreet and loyal. If you want, I could introduce you. You don’t have to talk right away, just get to know each other. And if it feels good, and it is something you want, I can make an appointment for you. “

Just as you wanted to ask Pepper who Sam was, Happy spoke up. “Miss we are here,” You looked out of the window and saw a huge shop window, with all kinds of clothes; swimsuits, out-door-wear, normal every day, nightwear. Happy opened the door and now you could see better. You saw a cute pyjama with Stich on the front. “Darcy!! Look!! It’s Stich!! Come on!!” you yelled.

You grabbed Darcy’s hand and hauled her out of the limo, you dodged people on the sidewalk and ran in the store. “O Darcy it’s so cute!!” “Well, come on then grab it, what’s your size?” “Um, Clint brought me your pyjama and that fitted good. So your size?” You asked. “Great that makes shopping easier.” Darcy laughed.

Pepper and Nat walked towards you two, both wearing a scowl. “I know you are exited, but I gave Steve and Bucky my promise to look after you, so no running away, even though you excited. Got it?” Nat said with her mom voice. You looked down and wanted the ground to open and swallow you. “I’m sorry, Natascha.” You whispered.

Nat lifted your face and gave you a look you didn’t understand. “Y/n, I... I don’t want to tell you what you can and can’t do. But this a busy store and I want you to say close. And yes, Darcy that also includes you. Pepper, Happy and I will follow you two around, but you two stay close.” “I will, Natascha.” You said looking at Nat. She smiled at you, ”Sweetie, I only say that because I care. And call me Nat.“ “Yes Nat, we’ll do that, come on Y/n,” Darcy said looping her arm with yours and started walking away. Nat and Pepper nodded at you and smiled. Happy stood behind them with 2 large empty baskets and mouth ‘go girl’ to you. You smiled at them and turned to look at the pajamas.

The baskets didn’t remain empty for long. Happy had to grab 2 other baskets for what you all picked out for you. It took a long time, but when you got out of the store, you all carried 2 shopping bags and Happy 4. Next you went to a fancy store, where Pepper and Nat found 4 dresses for the parties Tony would throw, and 3 dresses you could wear on a fancy date.

“What’s the last store we’re going to?” you asked when Pepper paid the clothes with Steve’s and Bucky’s card. “If I might suggest?” Happy spoke up. You nodded and Happy turned to look at Pepper. “It’s a bit weird, I know. But what about the grocery store? I mean, I don’t want to offend you, but that’s what I wanted to do. Get the things I thought I never had and wanted to try.” Happy blushed a bit, but you thought it was a great idea. “Can we?” you asked looking at Nat and Pepper. They looked at each other and shrugged. “Sure, if that’s what you want.” Nat said. You nodded. “Let’s go then, I know a great grocery store.” Happy said smiling at you.

Happy was right. The grocery store was a great idea and had so much stuff. You felt like a kid in a candy store. You had 2 carts and your group started at aisle 1, slowly walking the aisle to take everything in. You grabbed stuff you always wanted and smiled with every item you put in the cart. You bounced from item to item, with Darcy on your tail, and pointing things out, you might like too.

“You did good, she loves this.” Pepper said softly to Happy. “Yeah, she does, doesn’t she? Look at that smile. I’m glad it was okay, the moment I said it, I realized how stupid it sounded, but now I’m happy I said it.” Pepper patted Happy on the chest. “You are just a big sweetie, aren’t you?” Happy blushed and smiled.

The isles with cookies, candy and chips you loved, you grabbed everything you wanted. Nat, Pepper and Happy pointed things out they knew Steve and Bucky loved, when you told them you wanted to take things they liked too.

When all the aisle were done, you had 4 carts full of food, drinks, magazines, feminine products, all kinds of stuff. The check-out took a long time, and luckily you had help to put in the limo. The ride to the tower was short, the store was close by so the stuff for the freezer wouldn’t melt on the way.

When you all got out of the limo, you waited till everyone was standing next to the limo. “I just wanted to say, thank you. Thank you all. This was an amazing day and I’ll never forget it. Thank you”, you walked to them and gave all of them a hug.

“Alright. This is how we are doing this. Multiple elevator trips, and strong arms are waiting upstairs. I send a text Bucky and Steve to stand by the elevator to grab the bags. You should go up to with the first trip, y/n, so you know where everything is.” Pepper smiled at you. You nodded and you grabbed the first bags to put in the elevator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudo's!
> 
> If you have any idea's, tell me. I have the story in my head, but i can implement some thoughts of you to


	21. Chapter 21

When the elevator doors opened, you saw Bucky and Steve standing near the window. They heard the doors open and they turned around and smiled at you. "Hey doll, how did your shopping trip go? Bucky said walking towards you. "Well look and behold" you smiled gesturing to the bags around you. "And downstairs there are more bags. This is the food haul. The other bags are clothes and stuff."   
  
"Food haul?" Steve said smiling and frowning at the same time. "Yep. Happy suggested that we should go to the grocery store. He really is a sweet guy. It was great, I picked things I always wanted to try. I got some things for you too.” You grinned at them. ”Is there enough room in the fridge for ice cream, pizzas and other stuff?" "We’ll make room, let's put everything on the counter first.“ Steve said smiling.

You nodded and beamed at your soulmates. The elevator was empty in no time and you and Steve were unpacking the bags of food. "O doll, this is awesome!!” Bucky said with glee when he saw his favorite potato chips, cheese union. “And Happy told me, that you always drink coke with it, sooo, I bought 2 bottles of that as well.” you smiled. “He also wanted me to ask you when the next star trek marathon is starting. Something about voyager?” “Yesss!” Bucky did a little happy dance, which had you and Steve laughing.

“O my g..” Steve said with wonder. “Yeah, Nat said lava cakes were your favorite. I bought four boxes because it says four in a box, but the box is so small. And I noticed you two have 2 or even 3 helpings, so..” “Thank you, y/n,” Steve said cuddling the boxes with his cakes to his chest.  
  
“Hey guys, here is the second load, y/n where do you want them?” “Second door to the left is me” you said to Happy. “Hey Buck, ask him now.” He nodded and gave you a kiss and skipped to happy. “You know we won’t see him again do you?” Steve smiled at you. “He’s happy, that's what makes me happy.” you smiled at Steve. 

“You know sweetheart, you really are the most incredible woman I've ever met.” He leaned over the counter and gave you a kiss. You blushed but returned his kiss with passion. “Hey you two stop that or the food will spoil.” “Great mood breaker Darcy,” Steve deadpanned. What can I saw, it’s my superpower.” Darcy shrugged. “I'll put these in your room y/n.” “Okay thank you.” You and Steve had almost put everything away when Bucky came walking back in the kitchen. “All of the bags are in your room, sweetheart. I think we need to ask Tony for a bigger walk in closest. “

You laughed and shaked your head. “No there’s room enough, I never had that much room before but I'm sure it will fit. What shall we eat, I bought enough.” “What do you want to eat sweetheart?” Steve said.

“I bought the ingredients for lasagna. I read a few recipes, but I never made it before.” “My ma made a wonderful lasagna” Bucky said. “I think I remember how she made it. We can use your recipe and what I can remember.” You nodded and jumped of your chair.

“Is it okay if I put some music on? I'm not a big fan of the silence.” “Of course, doll.” “Hey Jarvis?“ Yes miss?” “Can you replay that music that you played for me last night?” “Of course, miss.” Music started to play and soon you were humming along with the music. The three of you danced around each other while you were grabbing everything you needed to make the lasagna.   
  
Steve's phone went of suddenly. “I'm gonna have to take this,” he said looking at his phone. He gave you and Bucky a kiss. “Hey doll, do you know how to dance to this music?” “Well I dance in my own way, I never danced with anyone.” You said chopping the unions. “When this is in the oven, I'll teach ya” Bucky said. 

When the lasagna was in the oven, Bucky gave you a sappy smile. “What? Do I have something on my face?” You rubbed your hands on your face to clean it. “No sunshine, you don't,” Bucky smiled when he grabbed your hands. “I wanted this for so long. To have my girl beside me, making dinner, smiling and joking around. It's like a dream come true.” You smiled at him and gave him a hug. He returned it and hugged you closer.

“Hey Jarvis, can you play moonlight serenade for us?” “Yes sir.” Softly the song started to play and you swayed with Bucky to the music. “I love this music,” you said, looking up to see Bucky already gazing lovingly at you. You blushed and hid your face in his chest. He let his head rest on your head and said he did too.   
  
“I remember teaching my sister how to dance.” “Yeah?” “Yeah, Beckie always wanted to dance, she loved it. She met her husband in a dance room.” “A dance room?” “Yeah, back then, you had halls were people could go dancing, normal dancing that it, not that jumping up and down like a cat on steroids.” You snorted at that. “Is she still here?” “No, Beckie died 2 decades ago. Heart failure. Her husband and kids and grandkids were beside her. She had a good life.”

“Do you have contact with them?” you asked softly. “No, not so much, what would they want with me? I'm just a...” Bucky mumbled. “No Bucky, you’re not just a.. you are a kind strong and a good man. Have they reached out to you?” “They have, but I, what do I say? What can I talk about?” “You start off with small steps. They are your family Bucky, if they didn’t want you in their life, they wouldn't have reached out.” You said carefully.   
  
“But with what I have done?” Bucky whispered. “Do they know what happened?” Bucky nodded. ”Then they know it was not your fault. If you want, we can go together? Or invite them here? I would like to meet them if that’s okay.” “I'll think about it.” You left it at that.   
  
You swayed for some time longer and stopped when the timer went off. You walked to the oven and opened the door. It smelled wonderful. “Is Steve going to be much longer?” “Nope he is not,” Steve said closing his arms around your waist from behind. “Good, dinner is ready.” “It smells wonderful.” Steve said looking over your shoulder. 

“I’ll take the lasanga, you 2 grab the rest.” You said to Bucky and Steve. The three of you set the table and sat down.   
“Who says grace?” You asked at them, Bucky and Steve looked at you. “You don't?” “We haven’t in a really long time.” Steve said softly. “Can I say grace? Or I can just..?” “No sweetheart of course you can.” You gave a little smile, folded your hands and closed your eyes.  
  
Bless this food   
and grant that all who eat it   
may be strong in body   
and grow in Your love. 

Amen

Bucky reached over for your hand and you gave him yours. Steve did it to and soon you were all holding hands. A warmth spread over you. “I love you” Bucky said, “Both of you so damn much.” You smiled a teary smile at Bucky. “I love you too, both of you” Steve said with a thick voice. You rubbed with your thumb on both of their hands. “I love you two so much, to the moon and back,” you said, while tears escaped out of your eyes. “Come on, food will get cold” you sniffed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the link for Moonlight Serenade, it's beautiful  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr7Tu5UlrhE
> 
> Thanks for the kudo's! Keep the idea's flowing towards me :)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's stirs up our life?

“Who was that on the phone, Steve?” Bucky inquired. Steve gave Bucky a face, ‘_really?_’. You watched the exchange and wondered why Steve gave Bucky that look. Steve sighed. “It was Fury, a mission.” You tensed. “When do you leave?” Bucky said munching on his food. “Come on Buck, not now.” Steve said, glancing at you.

“Steve, I know who you guys are. I know I’m not classified to know everything, but you can tell when you leave and when you’ll be back, right? I don’t want to know the details, unless you can tell me, I will never ask. Only when one of you is hurt or…worse.” Your voice wavered at the end.

Steve laid his fork down and looked at his food. “Tomorrow at 6am. They have found a hydra facility needs to be checked out. It’s going to be a small team, Natasha, Sam and me.” Bucky and you nodded. “And… and Sharon is on the jet if we need back-up.” Steve carefully said.

Bucky’s fork fell on his plate with a hard clatter. You jumped at the sound and looked at Bucky. “Why is that, that блядь (whore) on the mission?” Bucky said with gritted teeth. “Sharon is an agent, Buck, give her some respect.” Steve said harshly. “NO!!” Bucky yelled. You shrank in on your seat. “No Steve, I won’t! Where was her respect for me, when she dated you? Telling me to give you up and go away from you, because you deserve better than me! I am your soulmate! I never, EVER want to hear that bitch’s name ever again in this house. NEVER!!” Bucky yelled.

“Buck, I … I” Steve sounded hurt and ashamed. Bucky looked at Steve and took a deep breath, “I know you trust that whore, but I don’t. I only trust this team we have here. So, please, please don’t tell anyone, please no one we have finally got our soulmate. Hydra was in Shield, Steve! I won’t let them have her again!”

Bucky was pacing up and down the dinner table, muttering under his breath. You looked at Steve who held his head down and looked like he could burst in tears. You stood up and walked over to Bucky. He halted his pacing when you stood in front of him. “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” Bucky said while throwing his arms around you. “Gotta stay low, gotta stay low” Bucky whispered, but hard enough for Steve to hear. “They won’t get you again, I swear, never again.”

“I am safe with you two, Bucky. Steve would not make any stupid decisions to risk my safety. You know that, don’t you? You remember telling me, ‘till the end of the line’?” Bucky grumbled in your neck. “I just want no one to know we have you, doll. I remember what they did to you, and what they told me they would do to you. I can’t risk losing you.” Bucky whimpered.

“Jarvis?” The AI responded immediately. “Tell Tony, Happy and Clint and their soulmates not to mention me to anyone, only to their soulmates. I don’t exist, I’m not here. Nobody knows me or has seen me. Tell them I’ll explain later, when everyone is home from the mission.” “Yes, miss.” “Thank you, Jarvis.” You said looking at the ceiling.

“Done, little bit better now, Bucky?” Bucky nodded in your neck and you gave him a quick squeeze. “Come, dinners getting cold.” You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Bucky let you go and sat down in his seat. You grabbed your fork and started eating again.   
  
“Well eat up. I’ve seen you two eat, and I know you’re not full. Eat.” You said. Steve and Bucky grabbed their forks and started eating again. The silence was awkward, and you wanted to change that. You bought cupcakes for this evening but wanted to eat them as desert to cheer your soulmates up.

“You know, I bought a dessert too.” You said between bites. Silence. “ ’O well, do tell yn, what have you bought?’ Thank you for asking, I bought cupcake’s, ‘You didn’t?!’ Yes I did, with strawberries, chocolate, caramel and 3 other kinds ‘Yummy’ ‘I didn’t see you bring them in’ No Darcy put them in my room so you wouldn’t see.”

You looked up to see Steve and Bucky smiling at you. You blushed and looked down again. “Sorry, I get a bit weird sometimes, especially at awkward silences.” Steve laughed and Bucky snorted. “We like you weird, don’t we, Buck” Steve laughed. “We certainly do,” Bucky grinned at you.

You pushed the last bit of lasagna on your plate around and looked up again. They were still looking at you. “What?” “Nothing, sweetheart. I… I want you,” Steve grabbed your hand, “and you,” and he grabbed Bucky’s hand,” to know no one else on this world is more important that you two. You two are my life, I will go to hell and back for both of you. I love you two, so much.”

“Stevie,” Bucky sighed,” I’m sorry. I should not have yelled at you. I know you would do anything to keep y/n save.” Steve gave him a look. “Okay, and me too.” He smiled. “But I just don’t trust her, she has an agenda, and I don’t know what it is. I know you want to like her because she has a connection with Carter, but please Stevie, be careful.” “I promise, Bucky, I’ll be careful. All I want is to keep you two safe. And I feel I need to burn all of hydra to the ground to do it.” Steve said looking at your joined hands in front of him.

You rubbed with your thumb on their hands and gave a little squeeze. “Alright, enough heavy stuff for now. To be continued on a later date. Do you two want cupcakes?” You asked. Simultaneously they both said yes and made puppy eyes at you. “Silly puppies” you smiled at them. “Yeah Bucky, silly puppy” Steve laughed. “Woef” Bucky barked back.

You laughed and stood up. You gathered the disses and put in in the dishwasher. “One of you has to show me how to work this thing tomorrow.” You said to them. “I’ll show you around tomorrow, sunshine. We’ll take on the tower too.” Bucky said, laughing at Steve who was making dog sounds to make you two laugh.

You walked to your bedroom and grabbed the bag that Darcy had put on your bed. Steve and Bucky were still laughing when you walked back to them. “Shall we sit on the couch? Put our feet up?” you suggested. “Excellent suggestion, I’ll grab us some tea, just a sec.” Bucky said.

You and Steve settled on the couch, Steve sat on your right and you in the middle. “Can we watch something funny?” You asked Steve. “Sure, what do you like?” “Can you show me something that you like?” “I know something, but if you don’t like it just say okay?” “Will do.” You smiled at him. “So what are we watching, Stevie?” Bucky asked. “Wait and see.” Steve grinned.

He pushed some buttons on the remote and soon you saw 3 guys standing in a tent. “Really Stevie, a car show?” Bucky said exasperated. “It’s not just a car show, it’s funny, they have a great sense of humour and they are just relaxing to watch.” Steve pouted. “It’s okay Steve, press play, I wanna see.” You smiled. “This is a road trip episode; one of the best.” Steve grinned. You laughed and grabbed the box of cupcakes from the table in front of you. “Two for each. You said holding the box. Bucky leaned over your shoulder to look in the box and grabbed the caramel cupcake with a speed you had forgotten he had. “I think Bucky wanted the caramel Steve.” You deadpanned. ‘That’s Bucky for you, deserts are his favourite.” Steve laughed. “Phhff, You got 4 boxes of lava cakes Steve, who likes desserts more do you think?” Bucky challenged. Steve’s ears turned pink and he had a little cough. “Here Stevie, a chocolate cupcake.” You offered. “Thanks sweetheart.” Steve kissed your cheek. “Now shut up, both of you, I want to watch this show.” You grinned.

You went to bed late that night, you saw 3 specials of The Grand Tour, They all were great, It was funny to see the little one grab a ladder to get in his car and to see their banter, it remind you a bit of your new family. _Family, what a wonderful word._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say? I am not a fan of Sharon.  
If you haven't seen Grand Tour, watch the specials first. Or the Top Gear specials.
> 
> Comment's please, tell me what you think


	23. Chapter 23

Your alarm sounded at 4am. You had decided to make breakfast and wanted to have enough time to do it. You washed your face and brushed your teeth. you quickly changed into something casual. Just a soft pants and a big sleeved t shirt, that was way to big for you, but it was comfy.

You walked out of your bedroom and made your way to the kitchen. Upon opening the door of the fridge, you heard Steve’s and Bucky’s door open. You turned around and saw Bucky stumbling his way to the kitchen. “Morning Bucky,” you said softly, afraid to make your voice louder in the quite apartment. Bucky blinked and smiled when he saw you. “Mornin’ Sunshine. What are you doing up so early?” Bucky said coming closer. You closed the fridge and turned to him.

After some debating, you closed the distance and gave him a hug. “Wanted to make Steve breakfast.” You mumbled in his chest. “What does he normally eat before a mission?” “He has an unhealthy breakfast ritual before a mission. 3 cups of black coffee and a fully loaded plate with pancakes, fried eggs and bacon and a stack of toast on the side. He’s in the shower right now, and I usually make his breakfast if I don’t go along with a mission. Want to make it together?” Bucky said softly while you two swayed. You loved being in his embrace, you looked up, and smiled at him. “I love to”.

He patted you on your bum and winked at you. He drew away from you and walked over to the fridge to get the ingredients. “What do you want to make, the pancakes and the toast or the fried eggs and bacon?” “Eggs and bacon. How strong does he want his coffee?” you asked, walking to the coffee machine. “Strong, really strong.” “Doesn’t he know that’s bad for him.” You said looking at Bucky. ”Super soldier,” Bucky shrugged.

Steve appeared in the kitchen right after his breakfast was made. “Hey Stevie, breakfast is ready.” Bucky said. “Thanks Bucky. Morning sweetheart.” Steve said giving you both a kiss. “What are you doing up so early?” “Wanted to make you breakfast.” You smiled at him. “Come on, eat up. Bucky and I worked hard on that.” You gesture at his breakfast. “Thank you, both of you.” Steve smiled warmly.

Steve finished his breakfast in record time, and soon it was time for him to go. “Be safe, Steve, please don’t do anything stupid.” You said while you hugged him. “I’m leaving all the stupid here, sweetheart. He’s over there.” Steve said with a little laugh. “Steve!” you chased him with a smile and a soft slap at the chest. “Don’t talk about Bucky like that.” “He always does that, that punk. Even when he was little.” Bucky said, you heard the smile he wore in his voice.

You stepped out Steve’s embrace and stepped a bit to the side to let Bucky and Steve a moment of privacy. They embraced each other and whispered things to each other. Softly you heard ‘Punk’ and ‘Jerk’. They let go of each other and looked over at you. You blushed when you caught their gaze at you and looked at their feet. “Sweetheart, come here.” Steve whispered. You walked to them and stopped in front of them. Bucky’s fingers found your chin and softly he raised your face to meet theirs. “Sweetheart, I love you” Steve said gazing in your eyes, putting one arm around your waist. Bucky put his other arm on your waist. “Bucky, I love you.” Steve said gazing Bucky in the eyes. You pulled your soulmates closer, “I love you Steve.” You said, voice full of emotion. “I love you Stevie,” Bucky said with a heavy voice. Steve pulled you and Bucky even closer and kissed both of you.

After a few seconds Steve pulled back when his phone beeped. “That’s my cue.” He picked up his shield, that had a special stand by the front door and strapped in on his back. “Stay safe, and stay out of trouble, you too.” Steve said with a smile. He opened the door and looked back one more time. “I love you both, so much.” “I love you, Steve” I love you Stevie.” Steve winked and closed the front door.

You let out a sob and curled around Bucky. You heard Bucky inhale deeply. “Come on, doll. Let go back to bed for a bit.” You nodded in Bucky’s chest. Bucky held you close to him and walked to the bedroom he shared with Steve. “Is it okay if we sleep here, doll? His sent always calms me a bit, perhaps it will help you to.” Bucky suggested. “Won’t Steve mind?” You said through your tears. “He won’t. Here,” Bucky said walking to the closet.

He pulled a t shirt out and walked back over to you. “This is Steve’s, you can wear it if you want.” You took the t-shirt and smelled at it. It did smell of Steve, even though it was clean and came out of the closet. You walked to the bed and pulled of your t shirt. You didn’t have anything on underneath but being naked in front of Bucky didn’t bother you. He had seen you at your worst after all. You took your pants of and put your clothes on the chair in the corner of the room.

“Where do you lie?” you asked looking at the bed. Both nightstands had books on them, but you couldn’t read the titles to give you a hint. “Left is my side, right is Stevie’s.” Bucky said walking to the bed to pull the blanket back and gestured for you to come. You got on the bed and felt Bucky take his place beside you.

You softly started to cry again. Bucky heard you and put his arm under you to turn you to him. Your head rested under Bucky’s and you turned your head a bit to your ear was beside his heart. Bucky circled his arm around you and held you close. He took your legs between his, so you intertwined. You fell asleep listening to Bucky’s heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went to Amsterdam today, there were a lot of people, only 8 with a face mask. No one respected the 1.5 meters distance. I even got hit in Madam Tussauds. Please be careful when you go out!
> 
> On a happy note, I saw Iron Man, Ant-man, Loki, Captain America, Hulk and Thor!!


	24. Chapter 24

Bucky looked at you while you were sleeping. You had red eyes from crying, and they were puffy. Your hair was soft as he twirled it around his fingers. He loved your hair, the color, the smell. He couldn’t think of a thing he didn’t like about you. Softly he started humming to wake you up. You had slept for 9 hours now, and he wanted to make sure you could still sleep tonight.

You woke to hear Bucky softly singing ‘You are my sunshine’. You smiled, stretched and snuggled closer to Bucky. “Morning sunshine. Sleep well?” “Mmm, yeah. Thank you for letting me sleep here. How did you sleep?” you said groggily. “Couldn’t sleep. But I had a nice view, so it didn’t bother me.” Bucky said lovingly. You blushed, but still looked at him. He looked so much better than he did all those years ago. There were no dark circles round his eyes, no wounds, and his eyes were so much brighter.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Bucky asked you. “Fried eggs on white bread, please. And a cup of tea.” Bucky nodded and gave you a quick squeeze. He stood up and looked at you. “Wanna eat in bed, or the table?” You thought about staying in the nice warm bed, that smelled of your soulmates. But then you would stay day in bed the whole day, you just knew it. “Table, otherwise, I won’t move at all today.” “As much as I like to have you in my bed, there are things I want to show you day. Come here.” Bucky said with a mischievous glint in his eyes. You blinked at him, wondering what he would do. 

Suddenly you felt arms around your shoulders and under your legs, and soon you were airborne. You quickly put your arm around Bucky’s neck. You weren’t scared you were going to fall, Bucky was so strong he could fight with you on his back. You remembered from experience. You loved being as closed to him as possible.

Bucky walked with you to the kitchen, he sat you down on the counter, next to Cutie and gave you a kiss on your nose. You giggled and kissed his chin when he leaned back. He gave you a grin and walked over to the fridge. Cutie loved sleeping on the counter, well, he loved sleeping everywhere. Since Clint took him on the vents, there were hours you didn’t see him. 

You stroked his soft fur and smiled at how he stretched, his back far up, right along with his head and tail. He turned around and curled back up in a roll. “Hey Jarvis?” you said while still stroking Cutie. “Good morning miss yn, how can I help you?” Jarvis voice filled the room. “What floors can we visit today without us meeting strangers?”   
“You can go to the Avengers Training Room, the library, the pool, the cinema, the laboratory, the common room and the top of the tower. In the rest of the building there are people working and you would be at risk at being seen by someone who was not part of the avengers, or their soulmates, per your request. I will inform you when someone will come on the floor with you, who you haven’t met and isn’t an avenger or one of the soulmates.” Jarvis responded. “Thank you, Jarvis. How can you do all of that? Don’t you get tired?” You inquired. 

Jarvis voice almost sounded like he was smiling. “No miss, I don’t get tired, I run the whole tower and wherever Mr Stark wants me to be. I can do a lot of things simultaneously and Mr. Stark regularly gives me an update. I am always at your service miss. Contact me anytime you want.” Thank you, Jarvis, have a nice day.” You smiled. “You too, miss.” 

“Where do you want to go to first, sunshine?” Bucky asked while he fried the eggs. “Well, I know what I want to do last.” You grinned. Bucky looked at you, wondering what you meant. You laughed at his expression. “Last thing I want to do is go to the pool. No way I can go see the pool, without going for a swim.” Bucky laughed at that. “Plus, I got a new swimsuit I want to try.” You smiled. 

After finishing breakfast, Bucky showed you how to work the dishwasher. You mentally slapped yourself. It looked so easy. You could have figured it out on your own. You had changed in your swimsuit and the outfit you wore this morning. Bucky had also put on his swimwear and some comfy clothes. “Well let’s go, handsome. Let’s paint the tower.” You grinned at him, swinging his arm back to front. He gave you a sappy smile and shook his head. 

“You called us puppy’s, but you are one too, you know.” You let out a little woof and raked your nails on the front door a bit. Bucky laughed at you, “Perhaps I should buy you a leash.” “Only if you and Steve will wear one too.” You winked back at him.   
Cutie danced around your feet, to come with you two. As soon as the door opened, he ran ahead and was gone with a blink. “Clint really had some influence on him, he never just to run of like that. Guess he loves to explore this place too.” You grinned at Bucky. 

Together you walked to the elevator and started at the library. It was huge. Like Beauty and the Beast big. You would definitely come back later. The cinema was also definitely going to be a great place to be. The training room was interesting, but it was also intimating. You definitely wouldn’t come back here alone or without someone you didn’t know.   
The moment you walked in the lab, Tony walked over and gave you a tour. He showed you his suits, his projects, and to top it all off, you saw Jarvis. It was a sight to behold. He changed shape with every answer he gave. I should have to give him a nickname, you thought. After the lab you went to the top of the tower. There were a few seats a table, but for the rest it was very sparse. You wanted to talk to Tony if you could redecorate the space a bit, make it a more comfortable place to be. 

And last but not least, the pool. It was gorgeous. Nice warm water, beautiful soft blue tiles, lounge chairs, a bar and a few potted plants. “Where are the changing rooms?” you said looking around. “Over there,” Bucky said pointing to the corner of the room. “But since no one is around, and we already have our swimming clothes on, why not change here?” Bucky suggested. “Okay,” you said taking of your t-shirt while walking to the nearest lounge chair. 

When you were in your swimwear only, you smiled at Bucky. He was putting his hear in a bun, and your eyes trailed down his body. He still had some scars, especially around his shoulder, but that wasn’t what you were looking at. He had a very ripped body, no ounce of body fat, just pure muscle. The V on his abs almost sinful, pointing to his neither regions. 

You got hot thinking about, well, his neither regions. You remembered how he felt inside you. No, it wasn’t him, that was the soldier you said to yourself. That was it was purely survival instinct. It was that or get beaten up by Hydra. It wasn’t how you wanted it to be your soulmate the first time, but it was better than getting beaten up. At least he didn’t try to hurt you as much and made sure you came before he did. 

Sudden snaps of fingers in front of your eyes, made you come back to now. You shook your head and blushed furiously. “Whacha thinking, doll?” Bucky said knowingly. “Nothing, let go swimming,” you said running to the pool. 

Bucky soon caught up with you, lifted you and threw you in the pool. You shrieked and prepared for your fall in the water. You gasped when you reached the surface and send an angry glare to Bucky, who was holding his chest with laughter. “Laugh it up, soldier-boy, I’ll get you.” That made him laugh even harder. “Oh yeah, and how do you think you are going to do that?” Bucky said drying his eyes from laughter. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.” You winked. “Now come on, get in the pool, I want to swim with you.” You pouted.

Bucky walked a bit backwards and came running up. He jumped in the pool like an pro. It was wonderful to watch. You were biased after all. He came up and smiled at you. “Come on sunshine, let race to the end.” 

The whole afternoon you and Bucky stayed in the pool, you raced, played, splashed each other and just had a great time. You wondered where Steve was, and hoped he was doing alright. Bucky was having fun, so you didn’t want to worry him about it. Jarvis! You could ask Jarvis! When we’re home, I’ll ask Jarvis how Steve’s mission is going and when he’ll be expected to be home. Please let him be alright.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Steve!!!

“Hey Jarvis, where is everyone?” you asked late in the afternoon. You and Bucky went back to the apartment half an hour ago, because you both were getting hungry. “Mr. Barton and Miss Darcy are in their apartment, Mr Stark and Dr Banner are in the lab and Miss Pots is away for business.” “Can you tell them to be in the common room at 7? I have to tell them some things.” ”Of course, miss.”

“Hey doll, here, I’ve made you a sandwich. I thought we could order pizza tonight.” Bucky said as he set down next to you on the couch with his plate in his hand. “Thank you, handsome. Can we have pizza with that mozzarella again? It was really good.” You smiled at him. “Of course, Sunshine. Do you want to eat pizza with the rest or just the two of us?” Bucky asked between bites. “Let’s see how it goes first. We can decide then.”

You and Bucky watched some cartoons before going to the common room. “Hey doll,” Bucky whispered when you were in the elevator. “Yeah,” you said looking at Bucky. Bucky leaned down to your ear. “I love you.” You giggled and kissed his cheek. “I love you too.”

The elevator doors opened, and everyone was already in the common room. “Hey guys,” Darcy said, ”What’s going on? J said you wanted to talk to all of us.” “I need to tell you some things, that can’t wait till Steve and Nat come back. Tony, can Jarvis replay what we are going to discuss for Steve and Nat?” “Of course, goldy-locks. Jarvis, record everything that is being said, and stash the file so no one but me can find it.” “Yes, sir.” Jarvis responded.

“Done, kid. So what do you two want to talk about? Seeing your faces this isn’t just a ‘let’s get together and have fun’ chat?” Tony said reaching for his drink. Bucky guided you to his place on the couch, and sat down, and pulled you to sit between his legs.

“Is things going to be sad? If so, I’m going to get a drink,” Darcy said. Clint smacked her on the head and whispered something in her ear. Darcy’s face went pink and softly you heard her say “Yes sir.” To which Clint said, “Good girl.” You looked back at Bucky and he mouth ‘later’ to you.

“I asked Jarvis to ask you not to mention me to anyone outside of this group. There is a reason for that. I know what Hydra is capable of, and I don’t want to go back to them. I heard that Hydra was in Shield, and I don’t want anyone in Shield to know who I am. I don’t want anyone to know I am here. To the outside world, I don’t exist. If they know I’m here , life could be so much more dangerous for everyone, and I don’t want that. I want you guys safe.” You said looking at everyone.

“I know I don’t know everyone in Hydra, but I could help with finding out who still works in shield that was part of Hydra when I was there. Of some, I even know the names of their soulmates. Some of their soulmates are innocent, they don’t know what filth their soulmate is. I don’t want to ruin their life, but… it necessary to protect the rest of the world.”

“I can help with that. Jarvis, pull up everyone who has worked with Shield and have them ready to search through tomorrow.” Tony said. “Yes sir. I will also add files of their soulmates.”

“Y/n, we’ve been out with Happy today, don’t you trust him?” Darcy asked you with sad eyes. “Darc, for me it is really hard to trust people. I know I can trust you, and because you trust him, I can trust him. But I will never trust someone you guys don’t or don’t know, or if I get a bad feeling from them. They need to earn my trust. But I think that is something that is going to be hard to do.” You said looking at your hands. “I’ve read about the avengers a bit when I escaped, so I could keep an eye on Bucky and Steve. And I’ve seen what you have done for everyone. You guys have always helped people in need. That is one of the reasons why I trust you all.”

Clint spoke up at that, “What are the other reasons?” “Clint, you came to me when I was done with my life. You gave me an evening never to forget with Darcy. You looked after me, like I.. like I was someone who mattered. And you really cared for me. I have never been cared for in that way. I imagined you were… you… you were my dad and helping me with my problems. And Darcy’s i-is like, sh-she’s my sister, and Nat…” You said with tears in your eyes. You didn’t want to let them fall, but they did anyways.

Clint stood up and crouched down before you. He took your hands in his and smiled at you. “Hey Angel, look at me.” You looked at him with tears running down your cheeks. He wiped them away and cupped your right cheek with his hand. He gave you a look, a special look, that a father would give when his child was on the verge of a breakdown. “I vow to you, in front of everyone here, that I will do anything for you like a real father would do. You are now my daughter. I will protect you, care for you and will always keep you safe from anyone who will hurt you. Even if it’s from your soulmates. You are mine to protect, and I will do everything I can to protect you. And if you wanted to call me your dad, I would never say no to that. I love you y/n, my angel.” You started crying in earnest now.

“Oh angel, come here,” Clint pulled you in his arms and held you when you cried. He murmured sweet and loving things in your ears and rocked you. “Thank you….Dad.” you gripped Clint tighter and didn’t let go for a long time. You two just sat there holding each other.

You heard that the rest was chatting softly, but you couldn’t focus on that. You could only focus on having a dad and being in his arms. Someone loved you enough to want to be your dad. Your biological dad left you to rot, and here was someone how wanted to be your dad, because, because… he loved you, he loved you. _Me... he loves **me**, I have **a dad who loves me**._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanna guess who's making an appearance next time?


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, only my love for the characters.

“Hey Angel, how about we do some karaoke?” Clint asked you. “I’d like that, how about we team up?” you asked pulling back to look at Clint’s face. “My thoughts exactly. Yo people, it’s karaoke night!” Clint yelled in your ear, causing you to winch, but you couldn’t shake the smile from your face. You heard Bruce and Bucky groan, and smiled even more.

“Girls, pick team!” Tony yelled from the bar. Darcy spoke up first, “Bucky!” “Dad!” “Tony!” “Bruce!” “J, will you be a love and select our songs for us?” Darcy made puppy eyes at the ceiling. “Of course, miss.” Jarvis answered.

“Here are the beers, guys. Superstar, for you a lemonade.” Tony put the drinks down and sat down next to Darcy. You all said thanks and went on your seats. ”How are we going to decide who’s going first?” Bruce said. “Jarvis, pick a number under 10. Girl closest to it, starts.” Tony said. “5”Darcy said. “8” you said. “The number I had chosen was 4, so its miss Darcy’s group first.”

The television went on on his own. Darcy, Bucky and Tony stood up and looked at the tv. They were psyching themselves up for the first song. You smiled when you heard those famous beats. Dum dudu dum dumdumduuuuum. _Eye of the tiger_. A good start of the night. Bucky started with the first verse, then Tony and Darcy did the refrain. The rest of the song they did together. It was awesome, they had a great voice together and this wasn’t the first time they sung together. They were just so in sync.

When the song finished, they turned around and bowed. The three of you clapped and whistled at them. “Jarvis, what’s the score?” Clint asked. “89% of a 100, sir. Tough to beat.” Jarvis said with a little smirk in his voice. “Well, we have to voice of an angel over here. And we have y/n too, so there!” Clint said victoriously. “Okay losers, show us what you got.” Tony said flopping down on the couch.

“Jarvis, start her up.” Clint said. Softly you heard the music starting, you smiled. You grinned at Bruce and he ginned back at you. The two of you turned around to look at the group on the couch. Clint was still looking at the screen.

Somewhere beyond the sea  
Somewhere waitin' for me  
My lover stands on golden sands  
And watches the ships that go sailin'

Somewhere beyond the sea  
She's there watchin' for me  
If I could fly like birds on high  
Then straight to her arms, I'd go sailin'

It's far beyond a star  
It's near beyond the moon   
I know beyond a doubt  
My heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore  
We'll kiss just as before  
Happy we'll be beyond the sea  
And never again I'll go sailin'  
  
I know beyond a doubt, ah!  
My heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet, I know we'll meet beyond the shore  
We'll kiss just as before  
Happy we'll be beyond the sea  
And never again I'll go sailin'

No more sailin'  
So long, sailin'  
Bye bye, sailin'  
Move on out, captain

Tony, Bucky and Darcy stood up and bowed to you three. “ 97% out of 100” Jarvis announced. “Yess!”you three yelled, and high-fived each other.

“I didn’t know you could sing, doctor Banner.” A new voice sounded through the living room. You turned around sharply to look where the voice came from. “You can’t be here,” you half whispered with your eyes wide. “That it officially true, but not publicly known. Who are you?” the man said back. You didn’t even notice Happy standing next to the man, only when he put his hand on the man’s shoulder. “That is Y/N, the girl I told you about. She’s Steve’s and Bucky’s soulmate.” Happy announced.

“Happy! Y/n doesn’t want anyone to know who she is or why she is here,” Darcy yelled. “But how are we supposed to watch Star Trek then?” The man said. “Bucky invited us to watch, and I am on vacation as of two hours ago, not counting if something major shows up.” The man smirked.

“You’re supposed to be dead. I saw a picture of you years ago in the hydra base. There was a red cross through you.” You said. “You are dead.” “That’s true, I was. A spear though the heart isn’t the way I thought I would die. But thanks to a very invasive operation, I am alive and can function like how I was before I died. Phil Coulson, nice to meet you.” Phil smiled, holding out a hand to you. You blinked and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you too. I.. I’m sorry, I..” You stuttered.

“No need to be, I get that a lot.” Phil said. “So, it’s karaoke eh? I’ll be on your team; you have a great voice. Do you know the song ‘Count on me’?” he said taking off his jacket and rolling up his sleeves. “Of course I do, it’s a beautiful song.” You said. “How about we sing it, and Bruce and Clint will be our backing group?” Phil suggested. “Great! Like a duet, like how the US Navy band sings it?” you said eagerly. “Yes! exactly like that. Finally, someone with a taste of music around here!” Phil said, glaring at Tony.

“Hey Agent, I have great taste. You are just not able to appreciate it.” Tony said defensively. “And let’s hope it stays that way.” Phil muttered. He walked over and stood next to you. “Mister Jarvis, if you would be so kind to play ‘Count on me’?” Phil asked the AI kindly. You giggled and smiled. Phil smiled at you and in that moment, you knew you could trust him with your life, and even more important, Steve’s and Bucky’s life, the life of everyone in this room. With everything Bucky had gone through, and trust someone completely, that person had to be special. And you felt in your heart that Phil Coulson was a good person.

The music started and you sang with your heart.

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,  
I'll sail the world to find you  
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,  
I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of  
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one two three  
I'll be there  
And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two  
You'll be there  
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Whoa, whoa Oh, oh Yeah, yeah

If you tossin' and you're turnin' and you just can't fall asleep  
I'll sing a song  
Beside you  
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me  
Everyday I will  
Remind you

Ooh Find out what we're made of  
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like one two three  
I'll be there  
And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two  
You'll be there  
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Oh, oh Yeah, yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry  
I'll never let go  
Never say goodbye  
You know you can

Count on me like one two three  
I'll be there  
And I know when I need it I can count on you like four three two  
And you'll be there  
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Oh, oh You can count on me 'cause I can count on you

Everyone in the room clapped for Phil and you. “Mr Stark, I am sorry to say, that this is a winning team 100%. Congratulations.” The four of you went in a group hug and were ecstatic. “Jarvis, play a song for us to get 100%. We want it to, don’t we team?” Tony said looking at his teammates. “Hell yeah!” Darcy yelled. “Let’s do this, Wonder boy.” Bucky said with determination. “Wonder boy, I would have like man more, but seeing you well over 100, I can get over it.” Tony smirked, to which Bucky rolled his eyes.

They were looking at the tv but turned around when they all heard the beginning of the song. “Shit” Clint, Bruce and Phil said at the same time. You looked puzzled at them, and looked at the group in front of you, all smirking. ‘The Lion sleeps tonight.’

To say it was great, would have been an understatement. It was awesome, magical even. They all brought something so wonderful to the song. And Happy, that he could go so high?! You all stood up and clapped and bowed for them.

“That was awesome guys. Quick heads up.” You all turned around to see Nat coming in the living room with a face that only showed rage. “Sharon is headed here; Steve couldn’t shake her off. Phil, take y/n to the kitchen, I need to talk to the group for a second.” Phil nodded, and took your arm to guide you away. “Wait, Nat is Steve okay? Is he hurt?” You asked nervously. “No sweetie, Steve’s okay.” She said with soft smile. ”We need to get rid of Sharon, I don’t want her to know you are here. So we need a plan, and you need to stay out of the way. Go, now.” Nat explained quickly.

Phil pulled you to the kitchen. “Let’s make some snack’s, I’m dying for something deep fried.” You grinned and was just about to say something when your blood ran cold. That voice. You knew that voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the song count on me https://youtu.be/vCcNwku60QI
> 
> Comments please! Let me know what you think!


	27. Chapter 27

Phil saw your face going white as a sheet and your eyes wide as saucers. Your eyes quickly went vacant. He saw you were reliving horrible things that happened to you. He whispered your name and waved his hand in front of your eyes, but you didn’t blink. Didn’t respond, nothing. “Shit. Jarvis, give Clint an excuse to come here. And tell Buck that Star Wars is starting in 5 minutes, and he wanted to be reminded of that.” Phil said.

Clint soon came in the kitchen and had to double take you. You were so far gone; you didn’t even look like the girl he had been singing with 5 minutes ago. “Shit, what happened? Angel, can you hear me?” Clint asked, taking your face in his hands and studying you. “She heard Sharon speak. If she can this reaction from her voice, I shudder to think why she reacts like this. Buck always did say he didn’t trust her.” Phil said looking at you and Clint.

“We should get her to her place. I already said to Jarvis that he should get Bucky to go to their apartment.” Phil and Clint moved to your side and held our arms. You could still walk, so they walked you to your apartment.

“I heard she called you dad.” Phil said, wanting a reaction from Clint. “Yeah, we both wanted to, she never had a normal life, as you can see from her reaction. Her parents left her in a hydra-hell, the only love she knew was from the Winter solider, and on occasion Bucky when his mind unscrambled. I don’t want to tell her story, it’s up to her to do that. Just be gentle with her and be patient. She is an awesome girl.” Clint said with a wobble in his voice.

Soon they walked you to the apartment. “Jarvis open the door.” “Yes, Agent Coulson. Mr Barnes is already inside.” They walked in the apartment, with you still out. “Buck! Come here!” Phil yelled. “What’s wrong? Jarvis said Star…” Bucky walked around the corner and he saw you. He was so shocked to see you like this.

“God! What happened?!! Y/n, sunshine, it’s me Bucky. Honey, look at me.” Bucky said running up to you and grabbing your face in his hands. He looked in your eyes and saw you were lost in your nightmares. Your body could move, but you were not in charge. He often saw you like this back then.

Bucky picked you up bridal style and walked with you to the couch. “Clint, get her soft pyjamas, the lion king one. Phil, get some juice and a cold cloth.” Bucky ordered. Both men quickly acted. Bucky sat with you on his lap, murmuring soft words to you and holding you close. All of a sudden you started trashing and screaming bloody murder. Clint and Phil run back to you as quick as they could. “Jarvis, tell Stevie I have a flashback, a bad one!” Bucky screamed.

“Sunshine, it’s okay, your home. You’re with me, Bucky, Stevie is on his way. Clint is here, your dad remember? Sssh, Sunshine, is okay, your home, your home. Phil is here to, we would watch Star Trek together remember? It’s okay baby, your home, your home.” Bucky said trying to cradle you in his arms, while you were trashing around and screaming. Phil put the cold cloth on your head and wiped your face. “Clint, get another.” Phil ordered. Clint scurried off and returned with a new cloth.

The door flew open and Steve ran in the room. “What the hell happened? What’s...” Steve yelled running closer to you. “That bitch upstairs. The triggered her hell for her. I told you you couldn’t trust her!!” Bucky yelled over your screaming. “Stop it! That talk will come later, y/n comes first.” Clint yelled back. “Focus on y/n. Jarvis, tell Bruce to come with sedatives. Don’t mention y/n if that woman is in the room with him.” “Of course, sir. I’ve hacked ‘that woman’s’ phone, so she will be out of the tower in 10 minutes. Doctor Banner is on his way, as is Mr. Stark.” Jarvis announced.

“Sweetheart? Honey, your home. You’re with Bucky and me. Please sweetheart, come back to us.” Steve said with tears in his eyes. Seeing you reliving your nightmares was terrible to see. He felt so useless.

“Buck, sit on the ground, we’ll take her in the middle.” Steve said thoughtfully. Bucky let himself fall on the ground with you safely, well, as safe as he could with your trashing. Steve pushed the couch backwards with one hard push. He quickly sat down next to you, opposite of Bucky. He put his arms around you too, so Bucky and he held you. Softly he started singing:

Kiss your ma and kiss your pa

Then you can pray to Him afar

Close your eyes go to sleep little one

You can dream of fairies dear

And of nursery rhymes you hear

Close your eyes go to sleep little one

If you're good from day to day

I will bring you games to play

And I will come just to sing you to sleep

You are mummy's pet you know

And your daddy loves you so

Close your eyes go to sleep little one

You reacted but it wasn’t a lot. Bucky started singing along, and Phil and Clint followed. Your trashing was starting to get less and less. When it was safer, Clint and Phil sat down close to you, but far enough not to make you feel closed off.

Tony and Bruce had gotten in the apartment when Steve had started singing. They took everything in and decided to wait to interfere. Bruce saw you were reacting to the singing. He didn’t want to give you medicines if they could get you to relax again. When they saw you were calming down, they walked over to the kitchen to make you some easy food.

They were still singing when you return to your present. You never heard singing when you had a flashback or a nightmare. You really thought you were losing it. In your mind you kept saying one sentence: “Please don’t hurt him, please, please don’t hurt him.” Softly you started saying this when the men were still singing. Bucky and Steve were already crying but cried harder when they heard what you said. Your voice grew stronger, and Bucky and Steve could hear the others sniffing too.

“Y/n, my sunshine, I’m not hurt. I am home, we are home, with Stevie. Darlin’ we made it, we.. we got out, sunshine, we are safe. We are home.” Bucky said through his tears. Your eyes felt so heavy, but you heard Bucky speaking. You focused as hard as you could and started to hear what he was saying.

You opened your heavy eyes a little and saw Bucky crying. “Bucky?” you said hoarsely, ”Bucky, safe?” “Yeah sunshine, we are safe. We are home, look there’s Stevie.” Bucky pointed with his chin. It hurt to move your neck, but you needed to see. You saw Steve crying, but still trying to put on a brave face by giving you a smile. “Hey sweetheart, Bucky is right. You are safe, you are home with us.” You let out a hard sigh of relief and pulled their arms round you. They felt safe.

“We’ll leave you alone, but if anything happens, call us.” Clint said. He crawled over to you three. You looked at him and gave him a soft smile. “Hi daddy” you said softly. “Hi Angel, can I get you anything? There is some juice and a sandwich for you. I also got your lion king PJ’s.” “Thank you, daddy. I love you. Are mommy and Darcy okay?” Clint didn’t know what so say at first, he knew you had a special relationship with Nat, but he never heard of noticed anything that you saw Nat as your mom. “Yes angel, mommy is okay and so is Darcy. Do you want to see them?” You nodded and buried yourself further in Bucky’s and Steve’s arms. Quickly you grabbed one of Clint’s hands and held it close.

“We’ll give Nat and Darcy the message. Come on, guys let’s go.” Tony said with a clogged nose. They left after that and soon it was just the four of you. “I’m sorry.” You whispered looking at your hands. “Don’t say that, don’t ever say that sweetheart, never. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Steve hugged you, as far as he could with Bucky also holding you.

“Nothing that happened is your fault, Angel. Just like nothing that happened to Bucky is his fault. You both are victims. Steve’s right, don’t apologise. You never need to apologise for a flashback, bad memories or nightmares. We are here to help you, Angel, to hold you, love you and protect you. We will never let anyone hurt you ever again.” Clint said looking in your eyes. You softly started to cry.

Steve, Bucky and Clint didn’t let go of you, even after Nat and Darcy arrived. “Hey Sweety, how are you feeling?” Nat said as she sat down next to Clint. “Tired. Where is Darcy, mommy?” You said yawning. Nat smiled at you, “She’s right here. Come Darce, say hi.” Darcy walked closer and sat down next to Nat and Bucky. “Hey.” Darcy sniffled. “Hey.” You smiled a little.  
  
“Can we make a nest again?” You asked shyly looking at Bucky. “Of course, sunshine. Daddy and I will make a nest, mommy will make some snacks, and you just cuddle up with Stevie and Darcy, okay?” Bucky said. You nodded and smiled.

Reluctantly you let go of Bucky’s, Nat’s and Clint’s arms and snuggled closer in Steve’s lap, while holding on to Darcy. “Wanna watch a movie?” Darcy asked you. You gave her a smile and nodded “A funny one.” “I know just the one.” Darcy smiled at you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the link for the song, it one of the first songs i heard; https://youtu.be/5zMr7ZrIIm0
> 
> Leave comment's to let me know your thoughts!  
Your comments mean the world to me!!


	28. Chapter 28

Steve lifted you up when Bucky and Clint returned with their arms full of blankets and pillows. You were starting to relax a little, letting go of the fear and panic you just had. Darcy had picked out a movie, and it was waiting on the tv. Bucky and Clint made a large nest, as Darcy called it. Great to snuggle up in. Nat had all kinds of snacks, chips, candy, ice cream, fruits and nuts. Everyone had 2 bottles of their drinks, so no one had to get up during the movie.

You were watching the nest and thinking about who was going to go where. “You thinking to much, sweetie.” Nat smiled gently at you. She walked over to you and Steve and reached out her hand for you to take. You slowly took her hand and she waited for you to be ready to get up. Slowly you uncurled out of Steve’s embrace and held Nat’s hand tightly. “It’s okay, sweetie. Do you need to go the toilet first?” You blushed furiously but nodded anyway. “Good girl, come let’s go.” You preened a bit when Nat called you a good girl, it was nice to be called that.

Nat held your hand as you two walked to your room and into your en-suite. “Do you want me to wait outside?” you bit your lip. _This was stupid, _you thought_, I am an adult, why am I acting this way, what’s wrong with me? Isn’t it enough I can call Clint my dad?_ “Hey, did you hear me?” Nat’s voice softly drifted your way. You looked up and saw her concern. “What’s wrong with me?” you asked her. “Sweetie, you had a panic attack and that triggered a memory of something years ago. Nothing is wrong with you; you are allowed to have a ‘zone-out’ or even go to a ‘little-space’. You had to be strong and hard for such a long time, and you did that very well. But now, you may be little, and do things you couldn’t when you were young. And I know you are wondering if I am mad at you because you called me mommy.” You had tears in your eyes and nodded.

“O sweetie, I am not mad at you. I am very proud to have such a strong daughter like you. Your daddy and I are proud of you, and so is your sister. We are one big family, not by blood, but by love. So, I want you to promise me, you will call me mom or mommy when you want to. And if there are people around, you can call me Nat if you want. But know, I’ll never be angry at you, sweetie.” You looked at her and saw so much love in Nat’s eyes. “I... I love you m-mommy.” “And I love you, sweetie.” Nat hugged you tightly in her arms and kissed your head.

“Now come on, go to the toilet, and I’ll fetch your pj’s so you can change. Can Darcy wear one of your pj’s too? So you can cuddle up together?” you smiled and nodded. Nat made a shooing movement to get you moving. You walked over to the toilet and did your business. “Darcy, honey, can you come here and take y/n’s pj’s from the living room please?” you heard Nat say. 

When you were done, you walked in your bedroom and saw Darcy standing there with Nat. “Can I wear the hello kitty pj’s, please?” Darcy asked you with her head bowed down. You walked over and looked at her. “Y/n, sweetie, there is something you have to know about Darcy, Clint and me. We have a romantic relationship, but we also have a mommy/daddy-little girl relationship. Darcy sometimes feels like little girl. She is about 6 years old then and is very shy. It can happen out of nowhere sometimes, doesn’t it, baby, when you are feeling too emotional.” Nat said caressing Darcy’s hear. “Yes, mommy.” Darcy said softly.

You walked over to your dresser and took out the Hello Kitty pj’s. you had a smile on your face when you walked back to Darcy. “Sis, here.” You said holding out the pj’s. Darcy looked up and saw you smiling shyly at her. Darcy hugged you very tightly and said thank you in your ear.

Okay my sweet girls, go change in your pj’s and come back out when you’re done.” Nat said, to which you both in unison said, “Yes mommy.” You two looked at each other and started giggling. Nat smiled at you two and walked out of your bedroom.

When you both were done changing, you held each other’s hand and walked to the living room. You saw the nest and looked at Darcy. In one look you exchange all you wanted to say. Darcy had a big grin on her face and nodded. You still held hands when you counted down from 3.

Steve and Bucky, Clint and Nat looked at you two since you entered the living room. They smiled when you saw you communicate without words, and already knew what you two were going to do. They heard you count down and smiled at you two.

On one, you both ran as fast as you could and jumped in the nest, all screaming and giggling. You two were having so much fun, you two didn’t notice that Steve, Bucky, Clint and Nat were standing next to the nest. You and Darcy looked at them and giggled.

“Okay you two troublemakers, let’s go watch a movie okay?” Clint smiled at you two. Steve and Bucky sat down near your back and Nat and Clint sat down behind Darcy. “This is a bit to grown up for you two right now, so we’ll pick another movie.” Clint said.

“Can we watch Ratatouille? Pretty please?” you looked at Clint. “Okay Angel.” You and Darcy laid down next to each other and held hands. But Steve and Clint had other ideas. They pulled you two up slowly and sat behind you with their backs against the couch. You two laid down in both their laps but continued to hold hands. Bucky went to lie on his side and laid his head on Steve’s thigh and put his arm around you. Nat did the same on Darcy’s side. Steve and Clint grabbed the snacks that were on the couch and set them between you and Darcy.

Twenty minutes in the movie, you and Darcy were fast asleep. “I think y/n has a bit of a little side to.” Nat said to Steve and Bucky. “Clint and I recognised some of the signs that Darcy has when she’s in little-space.” Steve and Bucky looked at each other confused.

“What does that mean?” Bucky asked looking at Nat and Clint. “It means that sometimes they feel like a child and want to do things children like to do. Like drawing, watching kids’ movies, backing cookies, those kinds of things. Also wanting lots of hugs and feel loved and wanted. They like to be called good girl, doll, princess, those kinds of names. It can be sexual to, but it doesn’t have to be.” Nat explained.

“I had noticed y/n blushing when I called her doll and you called her a good girl. She also really loves the kid’s movies and kept smiling at her cute pyjama’s. Could it be because of her growing up with hydra?” Bucky questioned. “Could be, but it doesn’t have to be. Darcy grew up in a normal family and she’s a little. If she is a little, I think it is coming out now, because she feels safe with us. All of us. She has made her family. A mom, a dad, a sister and her two soulmates. Its… I think it’s everything she’s ever wanted, and now she has is, she feels safe enough to let her little side out.” Clint smiled, looking at you.

“She can finally be herself now.” Steve said caressing your hear. “What do we do if she is in little-space?” Steve said, wondering if he missed more things of you. “It depends on what she does, if she is a good girl or a bad girl. You’ll have to set up rules if she’s a little. Just so she knows what’s expected of her and what the consequences are if the does something that’s not allowed. We’ve read a lot about it all, I can send them to you two if you want.” Nat asked.

“We’d like that, thank you.” Bucky said. “Thank you two for everything by the way, it really means a lot to y/n, but also to us.” Bucky spoke honestly. Clint and Nat smiled at him, “We are family, Buck, made with love.” Clint said. “Tony and Bruce are the eccentric uncle’s and Pepper is the super aunt. Happy, Phil and Mel are the cool cousins. We guess, guess mind you, that Darcy will see you two as her brothers now. She already sees everyone here as family when she’s ‘grown up’. Perhaps that bond will grow stronger now. “Clint explained.

“It’s like you said, we are family; a happy, crazy, and very loving family.” Steve smiled.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Stevie has a breakdown

Soft voices woke you up from your sleep. You stretched a bit and curled around the body in front of you. You threw your leg over its legs and your arm over their chest. "Hey sweetheart. Do you want something to drink?" Steve voice. _Wait. Steve's home!_ You shot up, straddled his legs and looked at him with wide eyes. Steve looked started by your movements but stayed as still as possible.

"When did you get back? Are you hurt? Are you okay?" You checked Steve up and down with your eyes and hands. "Sweetheart, I'm okay. I got home yesterday evening at half past 9. Its 1 in the afternoon now.

"Why don't I..." and then you remembered. That voice. That cruel, hateful voice. You didn’t know her name, but your memories of that awful time came back to you. "Bucky" you whimpered and reached out to him. "I got you yn, I got you." Bucky said pulling you in his lap. You started to sob and whispering. You felt bucky tense a few times, but he quickly recovered so you didn’t notice.

"Bucky, can’t we... I don't want to be in the same place as her Bucky, can we leave?" As soon as you said it, you knew you couldn’t. This was the safest place in the world. But tell that to the scary thoughts in your head. "Doll, I" bucky started but Steve interrupted him.

"Yn, I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I couldn’t shake her off, normally she never comes here, but she just didn’t take the hint." Bucky scoffed at that." I never meant for this to happen. I'm so sorry." Steve said with a teary voice and his head low.

You held on to bucky like a koala but reached with one hand for Steve. "You can’t control what other people do Stevie. It's not your fault I had.. had.." you ducked your head in Bucky’s neck and drew Steve's hand to your chest.

"Bucky always warned me about her, but I couldn’t believe it. I.. I.. I thought she was good, like Peggy." "Who's Peggy?" You said softly. "She was the first woman to look at me when I was, well my old self. People never looked at me twice, or without pity. But she didn’t. I never it would never work, because we had different soul marks. But I liked her, liked the feeling of been seen instead of been looked at. I knew that Sh" bucky growled at Steve" the woman wasn’t like Peggy, but I liked her, liked the memories. And I thought perhaps..." Steve sighed.

"I knew bucky would never lie to me about anything, especially when it comes to my safely. But I didn’t want to believe him. And he was right. I'm so sorry buck, that I let her in our home," Steve sniffed. "I.. I.. just.. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry." Steve started to cry in earnest now and you looked up to look at him. 

This wasn’t captain America. This was Steve Rogers. A man with lots of issues and problems with himself and the world around him. He was broken, ripped out of time, in a world that doesn’t make any sense. And when he found things is from the past, he wanted to treasure it. You carefully let go of bucky but kept him in hands reach. You carefully lifted your feet and put them between Steve hunched arms. You lifted your bum and glided in his lap. His arms came quickly around you to hold you close. He cried in you neck, while whispered that he was sorry.

You held him while he broke down. His breathing was getting laboured and his body stared to shook. You looked at bucky frantically, but he already was getting closer. "Hey punk, look at me. Stevie, look at me," bucky said gently, while he cupped Steve's face in your neck. He lifted Steve's face so he could look at him. "Stevie, Stevie, open your eyes for me. That's it, good boy. I want you to try and focus on my breathing, in... and out. In... and out." Steve’s breathing slowdown and his body shook less. "All I.. all I've... ever w-wanted..." Steve hiccupped, " was to-to k-keep you safe, and I.. I... failed. I went with P-Peggy, I.. I almost lost you in th-that base, I couldn't catch you at the t-train, a.. and I let it-the plane crash in the water, instead of looking f-for you. And when I got you back , in this time, I I let you down again. F-for her. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Steve cried, ducking back in your neck.

"Hey, hey lovey, look at me. Till the end of the line, remember? And you always come back to me. I love you Steve, no matter what. Sure, you can be an ass sometimes, but so do I. I love you, you punk. No one can come between us, between us three, right here." Bucky said while coming to hug you both.

You stayed like that until you felt like your bladder had to burst. "Uhm, Stevie, I-ah.. I need to go to the umm, you know." You blushed. You felt Steve smile in neck and got a kiss from him. A long kiss. You blushed even harder then. "Stevie, let her go to the toilet, we can have a stay-in-bed day today. Would you two like that?" Bucky asked. You both nodded. You didn’t even try to speak; you didn’t trust your voice.

You slowly uncurled from Steve’s arms and stood up. “Sorry, really need to go,” you said walking quickly to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know!


	30. Chapter 30

“Captain Rogers, Mr stark wishes to inform you that he has all the files of Shield and he highlighted possible undercover hydra agents and their soulmates." Jarvis announced. "Thank you, Jarvis, tell him well come by in a bit." Steve responded.  
  
The three of you had a long talk in bed yesterday, and ultimately decided that is was for the best if you could help identify hydra agents. You all weighed the pros and cons, and the pros won. Bucky and Steve knew you were scared and promised to be with you when you looked at the photos.

You sat on the counter watching Steve and Bucky cleaning the dishes. Even though they had a dishwasher, they liked to do the dishes by hand too. It made them think about the past, when everything was simpler.

“What is going to happen if I recognise someone? Do you arrest them?” you said swivelling your glass with apple juice. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, Sweetheart. It is difficult to know what our actions are going to be, when we don’t know who it is or what their rank is. But we’ll keep extra eyes on their movements and as soon as we can, well get them. But this has to stay with the people we trust know, that means us, the family and Fury.” Steve said.

“Think Mo- I mean Nat will still want to train me?” you said looking at Bucky. “Sunshine, you can call Nat mom and Clint dad in front of us. We don’t mind.” Bucky said coming over. “It doesn’t bother us; we want to give you everything we can. We,” he said pointing at Steve and himself, “ we can’t fill the shoes of parents for you, but Clint and Nat can. And we would never stand in the way of that.” Bucky said with a little smile.

You smiled at him and put your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. “I love you, Bucky, thank you.” you said, giving him a kiss. Bucky had a sappy smiled on his face when you pulled back. “Thank God, I thought I would say it wrong,” Bucky sighed. You smiled and kissed his nose.

“Where’s my kiss?” Steve pouted, with his arms in his side. Bucky snorted and made room for Steve. You made grabby hands at Steve. He was still wearing his pout, but you saw his smile trying to break through. You hooked your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. “I love you, Stevie, thank you.” You kissed him, and you could feel his smile. You pulled back and rested your face on his chest. You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat.

“We’ll be with you sweetheart, you won’t be alone, never again.” Steve said giving you a squeeze. You hugged him a bit tighter and sighed. “I wish…” you said but didn’t know how to finish. “What do you wish, sweetheart?” Steve said softly. “I wish shield knew they were part of hydra. Perhaps they could have saved me than. But …. That would mean I never would have met Bucky. ”You said looking at Bucky. Bucky looked at the ground and was clenching his hands.

“Y/n, I… they…” Bucky didn’t continue speaking so, you let go of Steve and stood up and walked over to Bucky. “Doll, they… they were undercover agents in Shield. Your parents were respected agents in Shield and ... and some agents still can’t believe they were a part of hydra. I think they suspect I killed them, because their shield mission was to infiltrate hydra, but I never heard it outright. They had special clearances in shield and... well, you know. “

“Bucky, it doesn’t matter what they say, we know what’s the truth. They were evil. They all were evil over there. and you saved me, my hero.” You smiled at him. You kissed him and rested your head in his neck. “No matter what, Bucky, we’ll always be together, always. And I will always love you.”

You embraced each other, until Steve spoke up again. “We should be getting going soon. Y/n, “The boys only said your name if they wanted you to pay special attention you noticed. “like we discussed last night, you can only look for 4 hours a day at those files, with a big pause of an hour and 2 of 20 minutes. And if we think you need a break earlier than that, if you get overwhelmed, we stop. If bad memories come back, we stop. If Bucky and I feel like it is enough for today, we stop. You understand?” Steve said in his Cap voice. “I understand, Steve.” You said. You liked it when they told you what to do. You liked knowing what to do and when. You trusted them to know what’s best for you.

“Okay, sweetheart, let’s go.” Steve said with a small smile. You grabbed Steve’s and Bucky’s hand and together you walked over to Tony’s lab. Bucky and Steve tried to include you in their talking, but you couldn’t keep your head at it. You wondered if you would recognise anyone from that time. Suddenly you were pulled back out of your head, by Bucky snapping his fingers in front of your face.

“Sunshine, we’ll be with you all the time. Doesn’t matter what the outcome is, if you recognise someone or not, we are very proud of you for trying.” Bucky said giving you a kiss on your head. You gave bucky a little smile and said ‘thank you’ softly.

Together you walked into Tony’s lab. Tony was working on making a real lightsaber. “Ugh, Stark, how can you work on that?” Bucky asked Tony with disappointment in his voice. “You were supposed to be making us a faser.” “Well Cyborg, there are some people who like the awesome things in life, like having a real lightsaber, I can’t help you don’t like it. Star Wars Rules! Besides, I promised Darcy. She is the only one around, except Thor, who likes Star Wars as much as me.”

“That’s so sad, you guys really should upgrade to Star Trek, It’s just so much, well for a better word, better. But he, we can still hope.” Bucky said with a smile, clapping Tony on his shoulder. “Move it or lose it, geriatric” Tony said sourly. “Okay, okay, no need to be so uptight about it.” Bucky said with his hands up

“Guys, can we stop please?” Steve said, looking at Tony and Bucky if they were children. “Tones, where do you have the files?” “Yeah, right over here.” Tony said walking over to a desk with a huge screen. He pulled out a soft chair and made a grand gesture for you to sit. You gave a hesitant smile to Tony and murmured a thank you. Tony squatted and took one of your hands, and made you look at him.

“Superstar, you only have to look at the pictures, Jarvis will make notes. If it gets too much, please stop looking at them. You don’t have to do this in one day. There are a lot of pictures, so it is impossible to get through in one day. I will be here in the lab with you, but I guess the old age pensioners are staying too.” You nodded at him and looked at you hand in his. “Kid, I know how hard this is. If you want to stop after 5 minutes, it’s okay. And Pepper wanted me to tell you, Sam’s is coming stay for 2 weeks today, and he would like to have a chat with you.”

“You trust Sam?” you asked shyly. “Birdbrain is as annoying as hell, but yes, I trust him.” Tony smiled at you. “Okay.” “Good luck, kid.” Tony gave you a smile and stood up and walked off.

“Are you ready, baby girl?” Bucky said sitting down next to you. Steve sat down on the other side of you. you let out a long breath and nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” you whispered. Bucky and Steve each grabbed one of your hands and gave you a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a wonderfull 3 week vacation, and am for 5 days in the other side of the country, the Veluwe in the Netherlands. Yesterday I went to a buy chips in the snackbar, and thought my ovaries exploded when I went in there: a man looked exactly like Bucky! OMG!!


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor y/n

“Okay, Jarvis, start with the first one.” Steve said with a voice full of power. “Yes sir.” Jarvis responded. Soon a man’s picture came on the screen, you looked at him but couldn’t place him, his name didn’t sound familiar and you didn’t feel anything when you looked at the man. “No,” you softly said.

The picture disappeared and another man came in to view. You gasped and squeezed their hands hard. “I know him, he was happy Phil died. He was the one that made the red cross through Phil picture. I don’t know his name, but I remember him talking about projects to enhance a human body.” You said.

“Good thing he is dead.” All of you turned and saw Phil standing behind you. “John Garret, he was my partner back in the day. I shot him, you would like that gun, Buck. Something the Borg would use.” He said with a smirk. “Mind if I join you?” You felt the boys look at you, and you nodded. He sat down next to Steve. “Stark, you got any refreshments here? And snacks?” Phil said popping his feet on the table in front of him.

“Who do you think I am, your butler?” Tony sassed, but went to the mini fridge to grab you all a bottles of energy drink and packets of nuts and blueberries. “Enjoy yourselves.” Tony said dumping the items on the table.

“I made a note that Agent Garret is dead and was a part of Hydra. He has a soulmate, a Miss Cassidy.” Jarvis said and showed you her picture. “I don’t remember ever seeing her.” You said after taking a gulp of your energy drink. “She had been put on surveillance since I knew John was a part of Hydra. I think she has no idea he was a part of hydra.” Phil said sadly.

A new picture came up and you recognised the woman, she was the woman who helped you read a bit. She didn’t have a soulmate. You told Jarvis she was dead, and he made a note. The next 2 hours you went through at least 40 pictures and made comments about the people you recognised.

“All right, sunshine, let’s take a break.” Bucky said as he stretched. “How are you feeling?” “I thought I would be hysterical by now and needed strong sedatives, so it’s better than I thought it would be. I am glad you are here.” You said leaning forwards to grab your drink. You felt a short stab in your belly, but when you sat up it slowly ebbed away.

You heard Tony and Phil talking, and saw Bucky’s eyes darting towards then a few times. “Bucky, I know you’re hearing what they’re saying over there, go to them.” When you saw him trying to say no, you quickly interrupted him,” Bucky, go. I’m okay.” You made shooing motions with your hands, that made Steve laugh.

“Buck! Look, Stark made us a Faser!!” Phil yelled. Bucky kissed you on your nose and quickly walked over to them. You stood up and went to sit on Steve’s lap. You laid your head on his shoulder and let out a deep breath. “Are you really okay, baby girl? I saw your face when you grabbed your drink.” Steve said while he laid his head on yours. You grabbed his hand and laid it on your belly. His hand was warm, and it felt so nice. “I felt a little stab when I reached out. But it left soon after I sat up again. Perhaps my body is adjusting to good food. The last 4 days I at so much, and so many delicious things. Speaking of food, what are we eating tonight?” you looked up to his and he looked down at you. In his eyes you saw love and, oh his mouth. That crooked smile of him, it made him look so cute.

“You and your food. What do you say to…. burgers and French fries?” you squealed, “Yes!” you nuzzled you face in Steve’s neck.

“Hey, we’re going to test the Faser on the dummies. Are you two coming?” Bucky said with a boyish smile and was buzzing on his feet. You nodded. “Sure pal, come sweetheart, let’s go watch.” Steve said. “I need to go the… you know, I’ll catch up.” you said. “I’ll wait for you, you go ahead, Buck.” He nodded and walked over to Tony and Phil and together they walked out the lab.

You walked to the bathroom in the lab and put your trousers and panties down and sat down with your eyes closed. You let out a sigh and rubbed your face. Again, you had a stab and your frowned. You opened your eyes and suddenly you panicked. “Steve!!!Steve!!!”

You didn’t have to yell his name for second time; Steve had ripped the door off its hinges and stood in front of you with his body on full alert. He took in the scene and saw you crying. He went down on his knee in front of you and cupped your face. “Y/n, what’s wrong?” his face in frowns.

“I’m dying!!” you sobbed. “What?! What are you talking about?” Steve said worried. “I’m dying, l-look.” You said pointing at your panties. There was blood. “Oh, baby girl. You’re not dying, sweetheart. You are menstruating.” Steve said compassionately. “What?” you said between your sobs. “Sweetheart, you are a woman. Women bleed once a month when they are not with child. This is a normal thing, sweetheart.” “N-no, that’s not t-true. I-it’s n-never h-happen bef-fore.” You cried.

“O sweetheart, come, let’s go home.” Steve said kissing your forehead. “But.. I.. I” you looked at your panties. “Sweetheart let me take care of you, please?” you sniffed and nodded. “ Come, stand up, sweetheart.” you stood up and felt blood trickling down your leg. “S-steve?” you whimpered. “It’s going to be okay, baby girl. I’m going to clean you up with toilet paper, and back home, I’ll give you some painkillers, you’re going to have a nice warm bath, then we’ll snuggle up in bed together. How’s that sound?” Steve said holding you close. You couldn’t speak, so you hummed and nodded against his chest.

Steve cleaned you up and pulled your panties and trousers back on. “I know it doesn’t feel clean, but as soon as we’re home, we’ll get you cleaned up.” You lifted you up bridal style and carried you home. The whole way you held your hands on your belly, feeling the cramps better now. “Stevie, it hurts.” You said softly. “I know sweetheart, we’re nearly home.”

Steve opened the door and carried you in the bathroom. He sat you down on the toilet and walked over to the cabinet where they kept painkillers, he grabbed you one and filled a glass with water. “Here you go, sweetheart, drink that, while I’ll make you a bath.” “Thank you. Stevie, c-can I take a shower instead? I don’t think I can take the heat of a bath.” “Of course, sweetheart.” Steve smiled at you. He opened the tapes and felt with his hand for a good warmth. “It’s ready for you. I-uh…do you.. I mean, I…” Steve’s face went bright red, even the tips of his ears.

“Steve,” you said looking down, ”c-can you stay with me, i-if you want?” “I will and I do. Can I help you, you know, with showering?” You didn’t know that it was possible for him to get redder, but he did. You suddenly laughed. “I’m sorry Steve. I’m, I’m nervous. Yes please.” “Me too, umm, well, I’ll take my clothes off first, then you. So you can get in the shower straight away. Okay?” “Okay” you nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatcha think?


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> looked after by Steve

“Hey Jarvis?” you asked while Steve undid his shirt. “Yes, miss?” ”Can you put some of my music on? Something relaxing, please.” “Of course, miss.” Softly instrumental music started to play. “Music always helps me relax and calm down, perhaps it will do now to for both of us.” You said looking at the tiles on the floor.

“Your right, sweetheart, music helps me to relax too. This is new for both of us, so its normal to be a bit wound up, right.” Steve said. “I ah, I don’t want to freak you out, but I need to ask you this. Do you want me to keep my underwear on or not? I don’t want to, you know, be forward or anything, I just, you know, want to respect your boundaries, and I need to ask you that so” Steve started to ramble, so you saved him. “Steve, if you want you can take them off, I’ll ben naked as well and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. So you can do what you want, it’s up to you.” You said blushing a bit.

”I’ll take them off, so we're even. Oh god, you know what I mean.” Steve said shaking his head. When he was undressed, he walked over to you. you still had your head down, wanting to give him privacy. When you saw his feet in front of you, you felt like you were as red as a tomato. Being naked the first time in front of Bucky and Steve was very different from this time. You saw Steve’s hand coming under your chin and you closed your eyes. He softy tilted your head up and smiled when he saw your red face and your closed eyes. He leaned down to give you a kiss on your nose.

You gasped and opened your eyes. Steve was smiling softly at you, with love in his eyes. “Are you ready, sweetheart?” you nodded. “Okay, lets stand up, baby girl. First I’m going to take your shirt off.” Slowly Steve lifted your shirt over your head. “Baby, hold on to my shoulders, while I’ll take your shoes, socks and pants of. “ Steve knelt down and started undoing your shoes and took them off with your socks. He looked up at you while you looked down to him. “I’ll take your trousers and panties in the same time okay?” you nibbled your lip and nodded. He put his thumbs in your waistband and pulled them down. He lifted your feet to let you step out of them. He stood back up and looked in your eyes. “Now I’m going to take your bra off, okay?” Again you nodded. Words just didn’t want to come out of you. Steve reached behind you and unhooked your bra. You put your head on his chest, to calm your heart. Who knew that it was arousing to let your soulmate take your clothes off.

Steve’s hands pulled your bra straps down from your shoulders and let them fall to the ground. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” “Yeah, I’m okay.” You put your arms around his waist and sighed. Steve put his arms around you and gave you a kiss on your head. “Come sweetheart.” Steve whispered. While still holding each other you both walked under the shower. The water was heaven-like. It soothed you right away.

“Shall I wash your hair for you?” Steve said softly over the falling water. “Yeah, please.” Steve drew back a bit to grab a bottle of shampoo. “Hold your head back a bit.” You did as he said and closed our eyes. Softly Steve started massaging the shampoo in your hair. You let out a soft moan and smiled. You still held on to Steve while he was washing your hair. “I’m going to grab the shower head and rinse it out now” You hummed your answer.

After Steve rinsed your hair, he grabbed a loofah and put on wash gel. “We’ll have to put some of your things in here. I hope you like my wash gel.” “I like the way you smell.” You said, a little blush forming on your cheeks. “Good” Steve whispered. Steve washed your body, and in his actions, he made it very clear he didn’t mean anything sexual. He just took care of the person he loved. And that made you love him that much more.

“Alright sweetheart all done. I’ll grab Bucky’s bathrobe, his is warmer than mine.” Steve said as he closed the taps. He held your hand as you show stepped out of the shower. He grabbed the robe and helped you to put it on. Then he grabbed 2 towels, one he wrapped around his waist and the other he dried your hair. “I’ll go grab some clothes, wait here sweetheart.”

Steve left the bathroom and you sat on the closed toilet. You grabbed the hairbrush and brushed your hair. You closed your eyes and listen to the music. _It feels nice to be taken care of like this. _You sat there humming away at the song until you let eyes on you. You opened your eyes and saw Steve standing there, in his boxers and shirt, with a smile on his face.

“I’ve got this shirt, it’s Bucky’s. I thought you might like the comfort. But I can grab one of your pjs too, if you want.” “No, that is perfect, thank you.” Steve walked closer and kneeled down in front of you. “I grabbed these panties for you, with the cat. It reminded me of Cutie. And I grabbed pads and tampons, I don’t know which one you want.” You looked at his hand with the items. “The pad is an easy one, right? That looks simple enough. I don’t know what to do with a tampon. Pepper asked me which ones I usually have, but I pretended to be focused on something else, so I just pointed and said that one.” “You can read the instructions on the box or ask you mom. I think she can help you with this. She can explain things better than me. Lift your feet, sweetheart.”

You lifted your feet and Steve put your panties on, to your knees. ”This one, the pad is indeed an easy one. You remove this and place it in your panties, like this. And that’s it.” You smiled at Steve and stood up. You grabbed the towel he used for your hair and whipped between your legs. It didn’t hold to much blood, but enough to want to look away. You quickly pulled your panties up and made a few silly movements to make the pad feel comfortable.

Steve turned his back when he gave you the shirt. “Stevie, you just helped me shower. You don’t need to look away. At least, you know, I mean, it’s just…” you babbled. Steve turned and smiled at you. “I know what you mean.” You gave the robe to Steve, who put it in the hamper while you put on the shirt.

“Ready for a lay down?” Steve asked you. “Oh, yes. Will you lie with me?” you asked. “Of course I will, hold on.” Steve lifted you bridal style and walked with you to the bed. He played you down in the middle and closed the curtains and only left the nightlight on. Music still played which you found very nice. “Have you ever heard of Bert Kempfert?” Steve stood at the bed and thought hard. “No, the name doesn’t ring a bell. Do I need to tell Tony to keep an eye on him?” You laughed. “No, Stevie he was a composer and big band leader. His music is wonderful. Would you like to hear it?” Steve nodded as he laid down next to you. “Jarvis, can you play A Swinging Safari from Bert Kampfert please?” “Of course, miss.” The music filled the room.

You inched closer to Steve to find him. “Wait sweetheart”. Steve went to lie on his side and opened his legs. “Put your knees on my thigh.“ you did as he said, and he put his leg down on your legs. “Does it feel uncomfortable?” “No, it feels safe.”

Steve put his arm under your head and his hand on your arm. You grabbed his other hand and laid it on you bare belly and held his hand with both of yours. You both sighed at the same time and laughed. “Thank you, Stevie, I love you.” “I would do anything for you, baby girl, anything.” He said kissing you. You both listen to the music and you slowly fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was wonderful.

Meanwhile, in the lab. “WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO MY DOOR?!!”


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Sam

“WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO MY DOOR?!!”Tony screamed. Phil and Bucky came running to Tony, as soon as they heard him yell in his not usual yelling voice. “Jarvis, what happened here?” Bucky asked. “Miss Y/n was in emotional distress and captain Rogers handled it accordingly.” Jarvis said. “Accordingly?! What do you call this, it is destroyed! How is anyone supposed to piss here now!” Tony said heatedly.

“What do you mean emotional distress, is y/n okay?” Bucky asked worried. “Miss Y/n’s vital signs show she is probably asleep, like captain Rogers. I do not want to elaborate on what caused miss y/n distress; it is personal. But she is in good health.” Jarvis answered. “I’m going back, talk to you later ‘bout my arm.” Bucky said walking out off the lab.

On the way back to the apartment, Bucky ran in to Sam. “Hey man, what’s up?” Sam smiled, but that smiling face turned in to a straight face as he saw Bucky’s expression. “What happened?” Sam asked, going right into fight mode.

“I found her, she’s here and something happened,” Bucky said continuing walking. Sam knew how hard it was for Steve, but especially how hard it was for Bucky, when they couldn’t find their soulmate. Sam and Bucky had a love/hate relationship, but they knew the other would always have their back.

“I gathered that when I got the call from Pepper. Where is she? I’d love to meet her.” Sam said walking along with Bucky. “Our place, Jarvis said she was in emotional distress and Steve ripped to door to the John’s in the lab. He says that it’s okay now, but I need to see for myself. “ “Calm down, if Jarvis says she’s okay, she is.” Sam said. Sam continued to calm Bucky down while walking to his place.

“I’ll sit down here, yell if you need me.” Sam said walking over to his usual chair, a brown fauteuil. Bucky nodded and walked over to your room. When he saw the dressier open, but you and Steve not in sight, he quickly walked over to their bedroom. And there he found you two.

You were securely nestled in Steve’s embrace. He walked over and saw Steve’s hand on your belly and your hands on his. You both looked peaceful, so he softly walked out of the room. He walked over to the kitchen and started to ask Jarvis question. “Jarvis, what did you mean with emotional distress?” Bucky asked worried. “Sir, I don’t think” “Please Jarvis, I need to know, and she looks to be sleeping peacefully, so I don’t want to wake her. Tell me.” Bucky said pleading, not caring Sam heard him.

“She is, what Miss Darcy calls it, having her monthly bloodbath. But miss y/n is experiencing her first, so she was quite distressed.” It still confused Bucky, and Steve, that woman spoke so openly about the functions of their body. It wasn’t common back in their day, of course he knew what it all entailed, but it was never talked about. And Darcy, having almost no filter, was quite vivid in her explanations why she was a bitch during her period.

“Right, okay.” Bucky said awkwardly. “See man, that is emotional distress on a whole different level.” Sam’s voice rang from the living room. “Shut up,” Bucky said. He grabbed 2 bottles of water and walked over to Sam. “Catch.” Bucky said already throwing the bottle to him. Sam caught the bottle, just. “Ass,” Sam muttered.

“The correct term is, thank you, bird-of-prey.” Bucky said. Bucky loved Star Trek terms and loved to use them. They continued their small talk until Bucky signed ‘quiet’ when he heard the bedroom door open.

You softly walked out the bedroom to let Steve sleep. You held your hand on your belly and walked over to the kitchen. The cramps were painful, and you could only focus on that. You started heating the water and grabbed a box of chocolate chips cookies from the cabinets. When the water was done boiling, you made your tea and held both in your hands while you walked over to the couch, a bit hunched over. When you were a few steps away from the couch, you noticed Bucky looking at you. You blinked and smiled softly.

“Hey sunshine, you alright?” Bucky asked with a worried voice. You shook your head. “My belly hurts.” “Come here, sunshine.” You walked over to Bucky and sat down next to him and cuddled up. “Sunshine, I’d like you to meet Sam.” Bucky said pointing with his chin to the man in the chair, near the tv. “S-Sam?” you whispered with wide eyes. “You’re the Sam they’re always talking about?”

Sam’s eyes twinkled. “Good to know I am a hot topic in this household. Yes, catgirl, I am. Good to see you doing much better. Well, better. Why don’t you grab a hot water bottle for y/n Buck? It will ease the pain a bit.” Sam suggested. “I will, after I know why you call her catgirl.” Bucky said in a voice you didn’t understand, was he angry, sad of jealous?

“Sam helped me, he’s the one I told you about. He gave me the clothes, a phone and helped me find a place to stay and work.” You said, still looking at Sam with wide eyes. “That’s alright then, but why catgirl?” Bucky inquired. “When we started to walk, your girl here heard a cat meowing and started searching, hence catgirl. She looked like the cat that got the cream when she found him. What did you call him again, Furry of something?” “Cutie. I think he’s with Dad in the vents. He’s off most of the time, he loves this place.”

“Dad?” Sam questioned. You blushed and nodded. “My dad, he.. he..” “Hey now, only talk about things you feel comfortable with.“ Sam said sitting forward and clasped his hands, leaning on his knees. “Pepper told me Cap and his wingman found his soulmate, and I was so happy for them to finally found you. And from what I remember, from back then, you are doing better now, look much better. I help people with trauma, like I told you back then. But I don’t want you to thin of me only as a therapist, but also as a friend.” Sam said in an honest voice.

“We don’t seem to get along that well, but I trust Sam with Steve’s life, and your life. You two are the most important people in the world to me, and I would never jeopardise you two.” Bucky said looking down at you. “Okay,” you said, smiling a bit at Sam. “Perfect. But first off all, what time is it?” Sam said searching for his phone. You looked at the clock on the wall and said 20 past 4.

“Yes!” Sam said standing up, and plumping down next to you on the couch, but not close enough to make you feel trapped. “Jarvis, put Mary on please, you know what channel.” Sam Said. “God, not again, why don’t you go bother anyone else?” Bucky said. “Because; 1 Mary Berry is an awesome woman who make delicious things, 2 I like to annoy you, 3 I guess catgirl would like her to and 4 I like to annoy you.” Sam said smugly. Buy grumbled and grabbed his phone. He tucked you closer in on his side, before he said, “Damn I forgot your bottle, stay there.” Bucky quickly went to grab a hot water bottle and came back to you. “Sit up, sunshine,” you did as he said, and Bucky quickly sat behind you, so you were nestled in between his legs, that almost touched Sam. You had your head on Bucky’s chest, looking at the tv.

“Hey Sam, are you a good cook?” you said after a few minutes, looking at him. “I don’t like to brag but I would say I am.” “Do you think we could bake that spinach and mushroom en Croûte sometime? If you want to, of course.” You hurried to say after. “No problem, catgirl. We can even make it for dinner tonight if you want.” “Oh yes please” you said with a childlike glee.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unwanted company.

Steve woke not long after the cooking show was finished. You all heard him call out to you, when he woke. “She’s here, punk.” Bucky yelled out, while he clasped his hands around your ears. Suddenly the bedroom door opened, and Steve came walking towards where the three of you were sitting.

“Hey Sam.” Steve nodded to Sam. “Sweetheart, why didn’t you wake me?” “You looked to peaceful to disturb. I wanted you to get your rest. I wanted a cup of tea and those chocolate chip cookies. But Sam hogged the most of them, I only got 4 cookies,” you pouted. “Yeah Steve, and I only got 2. What are you going to do about that? We’ve got a cookie monster here.” Bucky said glaring playfully at Sam.

“Jeez, man.” Sam sighed while shaking his head. “Catgirl, I’ll bake you a bunch of cookies. I think I’ve got chocolate-chips in my apartment. I’ll meet you guys then the kitchen upstairs. I’ll grab my cookbook from Mary, you can browse through it, see things you want to try. We can make them whenever you want.” Sam smiled and stood up. “See you guys in 20.” He said and walked to the front door and left.

“Sam and I are going to make spinach and mushroom en Croûte.” You said sitting up from Bucky’s lap. “I thought you wanted burgers and French fries?” Steve asked. You looked at your hands and hummed. “Can’t we have both?” you said looking up with your puppy-eyes. Steve laugh-sighed. “Course we can have both. There must be a bunch of stuff in the fridge in the kitchen upstairs. Jarvis, tell the group, dinner at 7.” “Yes sir.” “Let’s get changed and go up. I can’t wait to see that cookbook.” You grinned.

You stood up and shuffled towards your room. Bucky and Steve softly walked behind you. “Sunshine, put your pj’s on, we’re going to have a pj-party. Jarvis, let the rest know it’s a pj-party.” “Bucky, I have comfy-clothes. I’m not dying, as Steve told me. It hurts, but with the meds and hot water bottle is it less.” You said turning around to him. “Ahum, you are walking like a duckling. And Darcy always wears her pj’s when it’s her period, says she needs all the helps she can get to feel better. Try it. and if it isn’t something you like; we won’t do it again.” Bucky smiled. You sighed. “You never change do you. Was he like that when you weren’t the mountain you are today?” you asked Steve.

“Yeah, always looking out for the ones he loves.” Steve smirked. “By the way, mountain? “Yeah, mountain. Fine, I’ll wear pj’s.“ you said blushing, walking in your room and searched for your fuzzy pj with stars on it. After putting it on, you returned and burst out of laughter.

Bucky was wearing captain America pj’s. “Oh my god, Bucky, that’s awesome!!” “I do look good, don’t I” Bucky smiled and twirled for you. Steve was looking appreciative at Bucky, “You can really pull that off, sugar plum.” Steve said. Bucky preened at compliment. “It’s been so long since you called me that.” Bucky said sweetly and softly. “Love you Stevie.” “Love you Bucky.”

“Come on, lets go,” Steve said taking Bucky’s hand and yours.

When you arrived in the living room, you saw Sam sitting on the stool by the island. “Hey Sam, nice pj's.” You said walking towards him. “Thanks catgirl, Superman is my favourite superhero. Ever seen that movie?” Sam said. ”Nope.” “Right, we’ll introduce you to it tonight. I’ve found the recipe, and it looks straight forward. Let’s make it for 12, we’ll need to make a side dish though, this a family who loves their food.” “That good, cause I forgot that we decided on fries and burgers..”

“Who’s making the burgers?” Sam asked. You shrugged “One of them, don’t know how.” You said pointing over your shoulder. “I am making the burgers, Steve’s making the fries.” Bucky said. “Use your mama’s recipe, those are delicious.” Sam said looking at Bucky. Bucky nodded, and a small smile crept on his face. “Right y/n, lets start.” Sam said. “Jarvis, can you play music we all like? You know everyone’s taste I think.” “Of course, miss.” Softy instrumental music started to play, a kind of jazzy music.

You all worked making the meal and had a lot of fun. You learned a lot from Sam, about cooking and more important how he was as a person. You knew he was a good person, for what he had done for you in the past, but you saw he was a better man than you thought.

Fifteen minutes for seven, everyone started to drop in, making comments how delicious it smelled in the kitchen. Darcy, Pepper and Happy started making the table, while Bucky and Phil were talking while making burgers. You and Sam were making a salad, and Tony and Bruce stood in the kitchen looking over some things on Tony’s stark pad.

“Sir, Director Fury and the agent who shall be nameless are coming up in the elevator.” Jarvis suddenly announced. “WHAT!!” rang in a chorus through the kitchen. “Why didn’t you say sooner!” Within a few second, the elevator doors opened, and out they came.

Sam pushed you down, so you were hiding behind the kitchen island. Darcy came walking over and sat with you. She put her arms around you and hugged you close, softly saying everything will be okay. Sam stood next to you in a protective manner. You could feel the protectiveness flowing of him.

“Fury. What is she doing here?” Steve snarled at Fury, not even batting an eye to Sharon. “And a good evening to you to. Agent Carter came to me with some disturbing news, regarding the ’Earth Mightiest Heroes’. I want to know what happened. Why did you threaten her, as a group?” “I told her to leave us alone, and that she’s not welcome here, this building is off limits.” Steve gritted out.

“I need a bit more information than that, Cap. Agent Carter is filing a complaint about everyone here ,except you. I don’t have to tell you how serious this is. Especially if the counsel finds out.” Fury said with a powerful voice. You could hear Bucky and Sam mutters ‘Bitch’. They weren’t even quite about it, “That is what I have to deal with, sir. They are always very unprofessional to me, and I don’t know why Steve is letting them act that way to me.” Sharon said with a teary voice.

You could hear the fury in Steve’s voice, “Full report, Sir. We had a fling, and I ended it, three months ago. She can’t come to terms with the fact that I choose for my soulmate, my Bucky. She was angry and said that I will never find my other soulmate and she would be the one to accept that loss. She was the one who could give me a normal life, have kids and a white picket fence. I told her I don’t need that normal life, Bucky is my life and I can’t ask him to live with someone that doesn’t respect him. Sharon said she would never respect him, because ‘no matter, what he is a dangerous assassin that shouldn’t be trusted and be imprisoned’.” Steve said with air quotes. ”I told her to get out. She told me that she’ll be back and I’ll be sorry. The whole team was there and knows that I’ve ended it 3 months ago. We told her never to come here again, and that she’ll never be on any missions with my team. She is harassing me, and the team for three months now, and while I hoped that it would wear off, I see no other way that to also, file several complaints again Agent Carter.”

“That is some report, cap. Unfortunately, it seems you’ll have to find a common ground.” Fury said, a bit thrown. “What is that supposed to mean?” Steve said hotly.

“Well, Stevie, I’m pregnant. You're going to be a daddy.” Sharon smiled, a mischievous smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it true??? Is Steve going to be a father or is it a lie from Sharon??? What will it be???
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I'm so looking forward to see 3000 hits! So exciting!!
> 
> Here is the recipe:https://thehappyfoodie.co.uk/recipes/mary-berrys-spinach-and-mushroom-en-croute


	35. Chapter 35

“Your pregnant?” Steve said flatly, looking at Sharon with cold eyes. “Yes Stevie, isn’t it wonderful.” Sharon said sweety. She put her hands on her stomach and smiled. “Really, is that the best you can do? Try and get me back by throwing a pregnancy out there? Thinking I’ll come running back to you? Your mistaken.”

Steve turned around and hung his head. “Well, shit. Jarvis?” Steve said defeated. “Yes Sir.” “Send 1000 bucks to Bucky’s, Sam’s, Nat’s, Tony, and Bruce’s account.” To which said men and woman said ‘yes’. Steve turned around and looked Sharon dead in the eye.

“Fury, start a full investigation on Carter. She may be pregnant, but not from me. Bucky told me he didn’t trust her, so I made a deal with him. Tony and Bruce made something that made sure that my sperm is inert. It is impossible for me to get _anyone_ pregnant. And besides that, I wore protection. If she is pregnant, I am definitely not the father.”

“Well, that certainly changes things. What do you have to say to that, Agent?” Fury said, looming over Sharon with fire in his eye. “I.. I.. well. I… it wasn’t supposed to be like this!!” Sharon spluttered. “I just want you back, Stevie, I can’t live without you, please don’t leave me!! “There will be a full investigation, Rogers.” Fury said talking over Sharon.

“Stark, got cuffs nearby?” “Why are you asking me?” Tony said innocently. Fury glared. “Fine.” Tony sighed and pulled fancy purple handcuffs from his pockets. Bruce and Pepper suddenly went very red and looked no one in the eye. “Are they strong enough? Scratch that I don’t want to know.” Fury said. “Strong enough to hold the beginning Hulk, “Tony smirked.

Fury put them on Sharon and made sure that were locked. Together they walked in the elevator. Fury nodded to Steve, and Sharon looked like she was on the verge of a meltdown. The elevator closed and everyone let a sigh of relief when they were gone.

“Come one, baby-girl, let’s stand up.” Sam said taking you by the arms. “Are you alright, sunshine?” Bucky said rushing to you and pulling you in a hug. “Show me her photo,” you said toneless. Bucky pulled back and searched your face.

“Stark,” Bucky nodded. You turned so you back was resting against Bucky and your front was against the island. Tony showed you the photo. “I know her. She was there, where I was kept. She laughed when her soulmate repeatedly reaped me, and when they tortured me after Darcy. He had to be quiet with Darcy, she could identify him. Said it was my fault she got hurt. Told me that my other soulmate would never want me, because I was nothing compared to Sh-Sh-her.”

“Let’s sit down, Angel, you look pale. We’ll sit down and let the others get the food.” Clint ushered you to your seat and sat opposite you, knowing Bucky and Steve wanted to sit next to you. He reached over and grabbed your hands. “You are safe here, Angel. This was a close call, but you are safe. She doesn’t know you’re here.” You nodded and a tear fell down.

_Meanwhile…._

“You’ve got some explaining to do, Agent Carter.” Fury said harshly, staring at the elevator doors. “I know, Sir. And I will tell you when I’ve spoken with my contact. ”Sharon smiled sweetly. “Cut the act, Carter. Who is your contact?” "You'll see."

The elevator doors opened, and there where other shield agents waiting. “Take Agent Carter to the car. In the backseat.” Fury ordered. Fury went to sit in front and took out his phone. “Where to, Sir?” the driver asked. “To HQ,” Fury said, giving off a vibe to be silent for the rest of the ride. Sharon sat in the back, thinking about everything;

_‘It’s going to be a piece of cake, babe. Rogers will never leave 'his baby’ ', Sharon said rubbing her belly. And when he’s bought the ‘pregnancy’, we’ll get the soldier back. They’ll be putty in our hands. We won't ever need that bitch, wherever she is. Rogers and the soldier would do anything for each other. Didn't expect her to be off the grid for so long, probably died in the first week she escaped.’ Sharon laughed wickedly. ‘She’s got no skills, nothing. The world is a pack of wolves and she a lost lamb, they probably devoured her. Oww, to hear her screams again.’_

_Her soulmate laughed, ‘She can’t have gone far. If we have the Soldier and Rogers, perhaps she will appear again, if she isn’t dead of course. But the Soldier would have found her by now, so chances are she’s dead. But never speculate, it bites you in the ass.’_

_'Yeah, I hope the bitch isn’t dead though, I want to see her begging not to hurt her precious boys. It will be awesome.’ Sharon smiled. ‘You know exactly what to say to get me hard, come here,’ her soulmate growled. _ _Sharon walked over to her soulmate and caressed his face and hair. ‘What do we do if they arrest me? They are a suspicious bunch of idiots.’ ‘If they arrest you, you call General Ross. He’ll get you out, and back to me.’ Her soulmate said, popping the buttons of her blouse. _

The car stopped and Fury ordered the agents to bring Agent Carter to an interrogation room. Sharon’s face was indifferent, it irked Fury. He smelled something was wrong, and he would get to the bottom of it.

When he made sure Sharon was locked up. He called Coulson. It rang 2 times before he answered. “Meeting at 8.oo tomorrow morning, in the Tower. Let the team know.” Fury didn’t give Coulson time to answer. He just hang up the phone.

He looked at the side and saw his ‘cat’. “Well, Goose, looks like we’re going to have trouble again. Are you hungry? Perhaps we’ll find a hydra agent for you to eat.” Fury smiled at Goose meow. “Come let’s get out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course Sharon is not pregnant with Stevie's baby!!   
Sharon's a bitch and they're just finding out!


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having a nice meal, and who is on all our minds during dinner???

It was silent when everyone was seated at the table. Everyone filled their plates but didn’t start eating. Everyone looked at each other and didn’t know how to start the conversation. Tony pulled up the courage; “Superstar, I know how hard this is for you, but we need to know to keep you safe. Who is her soulmate? What does he look like?”

You closed your eyes and tears fell. You never wanted those words, that name to come out of your mouth ever again. Steve and bucky held your hands to comfort you and to ground you. You pulled their arms up to your chest and took a breath.

“Tony, can’t we talk about that later, after dinner?” Pepper suggested. “Pep, we need to know this. y/n said that he had to be quiet so Darcy couldn’t recognise him. It means he is close, very close.” Tony said, not harshly, but with a certain amount of anger.

“I know, babe, but you know the reaction y/n had the first time she heard her voice. What do you think is going on in her head right now? Sorry y/n, to talk about you in front of you, but he is like a bull in a china store sometimes.” Pepper said apologetically to you, before she turned to Tony again. “I know you want to do what’s right, but you need to calm down. Why don’t we enjoy this meal that they worked so hard for first and then talk about it.” Pepper said with a soft smile.

Your attempted to smile and nodded. “Thank you, Pepper.” Steve and Bucky let go of your hand, but kept their hands on your upper legs, to comfort you, to ground you.

You started eating from your spinach and mushroom en Croûte and moaned at the taste . “Mmhh, this is amazing!” you said with your mouth full. Similar moans filled the room and it made you smile that it was a success.

“You two have to start cooking more, this is great,” Bruce said. “How about a fixed day we all eat together? It will be nice to have more evenings together, like a family.” Bruce said. “Yeah, let do that, how about Friday?” Darcy said. Everyone spoke with a mouth full answering ‘yes’ and ‘definitely’.

“Hey catgirl, I want to get to know you better. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do?” Sam said between bites. “Well, I don’t have many hobbies. I like singing, playing with Cutie and watching gardening shows. I’ve been trying to make plants grow from seeds in the tomatoes, but it didn’t work. Guess city ground is too hard for those plants.” You shrugged.

“Why don’t you brighten the top of tower up? I wanted to make it a relaxing place, but I haven’t gotten around to it. Don’t worry about the money, I’ll give you the details of a website full of amazing stuff to decorate with. And do what ever you want, y/n, this is your home too. Make it as you want it.” Pepper smiled encouraging. “Thank you Pepper. I’d like to do that. I’d like to make pots with plants, but also have a little allotment patch. Nothing big. I just want so see the things grow.” You said with big eyes, thinking about the place. “Of course, it’s you project.”

The meal was a success, and the conversation, albeit a bit forced, it was nice. “Can I borrow your cookbook, Sam? I promise I won’t make anything without you as my guide.” You laughed. “Sure, I’ve got loads more. I have some here in my room, but at home, I’ve got lots too. You can come over anytime.” Sam said.

“Y?N, I’m sorry to have to ask this question, but it’s a matter of security. Who is Sharon Carters soulmate? We need his identity. If he is still in shield, who knows what’s going to happen. Do you remember identifying marks, like a birthmark or a scar? Do you know his name?” Phil asked you.

You could remember everything about him, every detail, every smell, every touch. You nodded, but didn’t want say anything about him, it was like a nightmare coming back to haunt you.

“Sweetheart, please tell us, we need to keep you safe.” Steve begged. You looked around the table and saw everyone with eyes full of sympathy and care, and love. You could do this, you could talk about him.

“He, he changed over the years. I.. I met him when he was normal looking, just a young guy. But h-he had a mean face, loved to see people in pain. He is one of hydra’s best torturers. He loved to torture Bucky, he made me watch.” You sniffed, holding his hand closer.

“A few years ago, he was badly hurt, but not enough to die unfortunately. He has all of these ugly scares, all over his body. It took some time for him to get well again, but he was angrier and curler then before.” You looked down for the next bit.

“He w-wanted to k-kill you all, not only for his beliefs, but also be-because of the scars. He took it p-personal. That’s… that’s why, he’d let the soldiers hurt me so much, and later he, he, he hurt Darcy and me. He did most of the work. He had to keep quiet with Darcy, he said, because she could identify him.”

You saw Darcy shift and Nat and Clint put an arm around her and hold her close. Darcy had red eyes from keeping her tears in. ”What’s his name?” Nat said emotionless. Everyone knew it was her way of not exploding. “I’m going to kill that man, slowly and painfully, make him that he was never born.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt, mom. He’s evil, and he’ll hurt you too.” You whispered. “I’ll break his kneecaps first, then I’ll fracture his elbows, then I’ll” “Nat...” Steve said looking at you and Darcy. She nodded and held Darcy closer and gave you a little smile. “I’m sorry, honey, but he hurt my two girls, and he’s going to pay. And I’ll have the family as backup when we pick him up and dispose of him.”

You sighed and were shaking, and your eyes filled with again tears. “It’s…his…name….I never wanted to say his name again.” You cried. Bucky pulled you in his lap and held you close. “It’s okay, sunshine. You never have to say it ever again.” Bucky said looking in your eyes. You took a deep breath.

“Rumlow. That’s her soulmate, Brock Rumlow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TA-DA-DA!!!!
> 
> Tell me what you think!!


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some nice quality time with everyone

“Rumlow?” Tony said surprised. “He’s been dead for years. He died in Nigeria, he killed himself.” “He’s not dead, he said he hoped you’d think that, but he escaped when the bomb went off to kill Steve. He told me everything that happened when you two met, what he said about Bucky,” you said looking at Steve. “The have people with special things, abilities. that’s how he got out.”

Phil’s phone rang and he took the call while walking away. He didn’t go far. He didn’t say a word on the phone and turned around again. “There’s a meeting tomorrow morning at 8 here in the Tower, Fury wants a word.” Phil said. “Let’s save this talk for tomorrow. Jarvis, can you save everything Y/N said about Rumlow. And keep it away from prying eyes.” Phil asked. Jarvis answered affirmative.

“Boy’s, why don’t you clean up, we need some girl time. Go and make popcorn.” Pepper said looking at the guys. A chorus of ‘yes’(Steve and Bruce), ‘why’ ( Bucky, Tony and Clint), ‘sure’(Happy and Phil) was heard. It made you smile. “Come on, let’s go to the couch.” Pepper said, standing up.

Bucky squeeze you and whispered ‘I love you’ in your ear. Steve smiled at you and nodded. You stood up and bucky playfully slapped your bum. You slapped him on the back of the head. “Idiot,” you whispered when you bent down to give him a kiss on the head. Steve was keeping his laughter in, and you slapped the back of his head too, “It’s not polite to laugh when someone is being scolded.” You whispered when you leaned down to give him a kiss on the head.

They both smiled at you and took your hands. “Sleep in our room tonight, sunshine. I want to have you and Stevie close by me.” You nibbled your lips, “Really? Do you mind Steve?” ”Sweetheart, it’s ‘our’ bed, yours, mine and Bucky’s. We don’t want to force you, and you can still have your own room, but there is always a place for you.”

You smiled at him, “I want to sleep in the middle, that’s how I have my pillows. I used to pretend that you two were with me, and I felt save like that.” “Of course, doll, middle spot is yours, that’s where we wanted you anyway,” Bucky winked. You blushed and looked down with a small shy smile.

“Are you coming Y/N?” pepper asked, walking over to the side table and grabbing her laptop. “I’m coming,” you said, looking at Pepper. You smiled at your boys, turned and walked towards the couch. Seeing Darcy on the floor, you decided to sit next to Darcy. Nat and Pepper sat behind you. You and Darcy linked arms and smiled at each other.

“This is your project, Y/N, your rules.” Pepper opened a new window and entered the site’s name. “So, you know how big the roof is, where do you want to begin?” “Mmm, how about seats first? Wait,” you said getting up and walking over to the desk. You saw pens and paper there, and you wanted to write everything down, so you knew what you were doing. You walked back and sat down again.

“Y/n, you know there is a shopping bag on the site, right?” Darcy said suppressing a laugh. “I know, I just like to write it down.” You answered. “Oh god, you are perfect for them.” Darcy laughed. “They said exactly the same thing when we showed them how to use the internet.”

“I’m going to write down everything we’re ordering, and gonna make a plan how to make it work in the space we’ve got. I’d like to plan things, I used to fantasise how to escape with bucky, made whole plans. We’re we would go and meet Steve….” Your voice trailed off.

Pepper laid a hand on your shoulder, ”It’s okay y/n, that’s normal. Before Tony and I were an item, I used to fantasise too, and when we got together, and then we met Bruce. It wasn’t how I suspected it to go at all, it was better.” Pepper smiled. You smiled at Pepper and touched her hand.

“Pepper,” you said turning around, ”Is it okay to make that appointment with your therapist? I’d still like to talk to Sam tough, but I see him more as my friend, than as an actual therapist.” “Of course, and Sam will understand that. When I asked him to come over, I talked with him, if my therapist would be good for you too, and he said yes. When would you like to have an appointment, in the morning or afternoon?” “In the morning, please.” You said. Pepper took out her phone and tapped away. “Done, day after tomorrow at 9 am. She is in the tower; I’ll send you the details. But now, let’s search for your garden.” Pepper smiled.

The four of you had very different styles, you learned. Pepper liked a Modern style, Nat liked a Mediterranean style, Darcy liked an eco-friendly/Japanese style. You just liked what you liked. You mashed everything with each other, noting it looked good with each other. But you did incorporate things the girls loved too.

Bruce came by at one moment with a bowl of popcorn and a set of drinks for you all. The guys sat at the dinner table, discussing things. Not that your really paying attention anyway, you were enjoying yourself to much.

So by the end you had bought the furniture you liked; big wooden pergola with crème coloured sun canopy, big lounge set woodcolor with creme cushions and a barbeque set with pizza oven,

For your planting-furniture you had; 8 raised beds, 2 raised beds with tiers, a little greenhouse with water system, big pots and littler pots.

As for your plants; yellow climbing rose (Bucky yelled that at you when he heard the words rose and plants), grass plants(Pepper), hydrangeas(Steve’s choice), Lavender (Bruce&Nat) Herbs (Clint&Sam, for eating) wildflowers (Darcy and you) and more plants and soil fertilizer. So the plants was really something you had done together.

Pepper bought everything and it the delivery date was tomorrow afternoon. You hugged Pepper and whispered ‘thank you’ in her ear. She hugged you back and said it was okay. “Let’s go see what the boys are up too, I think Bruce is losing an arm wrestling game again.” Pepper smiled and stood up with all of you.

You waited a bit and looked at everyone at the table. Pepper scolding Bruce and Tony, for not looking after each other, but with a smile on her face. Sam and Clint, well it could go both ways, depending on the one who got tired soon enough. Happy, Phil and Bucky were looking at something on a stark pad. And Steve watching everyone with a smile on his face, enjoying every minute. He looked over at you and smiled that much brighter. He mouthed ‘come here’, so you went to him.

You put your hand on his head, caressing his hear, while he situated you on his lap. You snuggled closer and together you just looked at the people you loved, fooling around and not having a care in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know when you have a nice reference and nobody gets it or doesn't find it funny.  
Luckily you are all marvel fans. So, i've got one for you: https://youtu.be/S94PCkft0iY


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting

At 8 am on the dot, director Fury entered the meeting room. He had a look on his face that you had seen before. A ‘Don’t mess with me’-look. You already were nervous as hell, but it just went up 10 notches. He looked at everyone in the room, and then his eye fell on you. His eyebrows went up, and he looked at your hands, clasped together with your soulmates. “So I guess they found you, mystery-girl. Took them long enough.” Then he looked at Steve, “Why is your soulmate here in this room? This is a private meeting.”

“Since you asked, her name is y/n and she was held captive for most of her life by Hydra. Y/N has very valuable information, we really need. Take a look at all the footage first. And have care how you speak about her,” Steve said with his authoritative voice, grabbing your hand.

When Fury continued to stand, Phil spoke up. “Sir, it really is best if you sit down, there is a lot of material.“ Fury nodded and sat down. Together you watched the footage of yourself and your family. Your life, of your time being held captive and your escape, about your breakdown, the hydra agents you identified, and Sharon/Rumlow-affaire. You were white as a sheet, when everything was done playing. You didn’t notice that you ended up on Bucky’s lap, curled in a ball.

“Right, so hydra is still in Shield and knows us intimately.” Fury said looking at Steve. Steve snarled, but before he could speak, Tony started. “Yes, mad Pirate, hydra is still in Shield. I thought you ran background checks on your agents and made notes of their soul marks. _You_ need to do your job better, Nick. Innocent lives are being harmed under your nose and you don’t do a damn thing to help them.” Tony said hotly.

Fury looked at Tony, before his eye went to everyone else. Then he looked at you. “Miss y/n, would you interested in a job in Shield?” Everyone started yelling ‘no’ and making arguments. The arguments were getting on your nerves, and you stood up, making everyone look at you. “No, director Fury, I don’t want to work in Shield. I’ll tell you everything I know, via my family here. I don’t want any contact with Shield or his agents whatsoever. Hydra is in Shield, and I know what will happen if they know I’m alive. I trust this group with my life, and know they have my back. I’m sorry, but no.”

Everyone was silent when they heard you talk, and you could see the around looks around the table. “I’m sorry, I need to be alone.” You looked at Steve and Bucky. “I’m going to the pool, I’m sorry,” you whispered and quickly turned on your heels and left the room.

You ran to the elevator and fortunately it was open, like it saw you coming. “To the pool, please Jarvis.” “Are you sure that’s a good idea? You seem to be in distress.” Jarvis asked worried-like. “Yes Jarvis, please, I want to be alone and blow off some steam. But can you keep an eye on the things around me?” Of course, miss y/n. I’ll keep you safe, and contact the avengers in time of need.” “Thank you Jarvis, you’re a good friend.” “I..I..Thank you miss, I can’t return that compliment, for those feelings are not installed in my programme, but perhaps it would be nice to know you occupy a large part of in my programme, even though we’ve not met that long ago.” “Thank you J.”

The elevator stopped at the floor the swimming pool was, and you walked right over to the doors where the pool was. As soon as you stepped in the room, you remembered you didn’t have your swimsuit with you. and as you didn’t want to go up to get your swimsuit, you decided to swim in your underwear. You walked to a stall, pulled your clothes off, removed the pad from your panties and threw it away in the bin in the stall. You left the small room and ran towards the water. You jumped in like a cannon.

You swam for what felt like hours. You alternate after 4 laps, first the breaststroke, than the backstroke. Than you freestyled, and started again. It was a nice way to blow off steam and not to hurt yourself or anyone else.

There was a time when you didn’t have this luxury. You remembered hitting yourself with a wooden spoon on your upper thighs. Or jamming your hand between a cabinet. You knew that it wasn’t good to hurt yourself like that, but you needed something to ground you. 

You felt your muscles hurting and it became hard to swim. You swam to the edge and got out. Luckily there were towels there so you dried yourself off and folded your wet underwear in the towel and took it with you. Your clothes were baggy enough today, so you didn’t need to wear a bra. Without panties felt weird though. Your stomach rumbled and you remembered you hadn’t eaten properly this morning. You were too nervous for the meeting.

You didn’t want to be alone anymore, so you asked Jarvis to bring you to the living room. You were hungry and the living room was closest. He informed you that an avenger was in the living room, and that you could trust him. You heard talking and focused on what was being said. You just had to listen to what was being said.

‘Listen. This is just a dream, but very clever people can hear dreams.

So please, just listen.

I know you're afraid, but being afraid is all right,

because didn't anybody ever tell you, fear is a superpower?

Fear can make you faster and cleverer and stronger.

And one day, you'll come back to this barn

and on that day you're going to be very afraid indeed.

But that's ok because if you're very wise and very strong,

fear doesn't have to make you cruel or cowardly.

Fear can make you kind.’

Your feet had taken you to the back of the couch. “What is this?” you said. A man almost jumped out of his skin when he heard you speak, so fast he got off the couch. His chips and his drink went flying everywhere. “Oh, sh- sorry, I didn’t hear you.” The man said with is hand on this chest.

Suddenly his eyes went wider, you didn’t even know that was possible. “I have to clean this mess, before Cap sees it. Or Mr Stark.” And with that the man ran to the kitchen for some towels. He ran back and started cleaning right away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, my 28th birthday could have gone better, friends and family forgot it😔 luckily, my mother and siblings didn't 
> 
> At this moment life sucks, I just want so sleep and shut the world out.


	39. Chapter 39

After the man cleaned up and you made you two a sandwich, you two set down on the couch. You gave him you sandwich and started eating your own. After two bites you asked ”So, what are your watching?” The man nodded and swallowed his sandwich. “Right, so, there is like, a man, he’s not human, right. He travels through time and space, in his own spaceship, his TARDIS. That stands for Time And Dimensions In Space. He is called the Doctor, and he almost always travels with a companion, and the always have these adventures. Sometimes on earth, sometimes in space. They can go back in time of to the future. There are old series, but they go so slow, I watched one and stopped. This is the new series, started in 2005. That year the 9th doctor started, and now we have the 12th doctor. There is a 13th but I don’t watch that. Not that I’m sexist or whatever, but the doctor should be a man, just like James Bond you know. ”

“Wow, that’s a lot.” you said. “And this is the??” “This is the 12th doctor and his companion Clara. Would you like to see it from the start, from 2005?” The man asked. You thought it over. “Yes, but don’t you mind starting over?” “No of course not, it’s wonderful! Finally, someone wants to see this with me, it’s too childish according to some of the avengers.” The man said. You smiled and sat comfortably. The man searched for the first episode and soon the episode started.

“Hey, I forgot to say my name, I’m Scott, Scott Lang. You might know me as Ant-Man.” The man extended his hand. You gave your hand and looked at him with wide eyes. “Ant-Man?? I’m sitting next to Ant-Man?? I saw video’s of you in YouTube, it looks so cool when you shrink like that!!” You said with excitement. Scott laughed and blushed. “Yeah, it is kind of cool, took a lot to learn though. Lots of headaches and bruises.”

You looked at him with awe. “Do you really talk to ants? I know some ants can fly, I had them in my old home, can you fly with them?” Scott smiled at you, “I can communicate with ant’s yes, through a device, and yes the ant’s and I can fly.” You had a big grin on your face. “Now tell me, what is your name?” you ducked your head with a small blush, “I’m y/n.” “No?!?! You’re Cap’s and Sargent’s soulmate, this is awesome!!” You looked up at him and saw a huge smile on his face. “I’ve met Cap’s soulmate” he said dreamily. “Shall we start?” you said nodding to the tv. “Yes of course, right, yeah.” Scott said pushing the play button.

A few minutes in the episode, Nat appeared. “Honey? Steve and Bucky are at the gym, they asked me to look if you are okay?” she said crouching before you. “I’m okay mom.” Nat nodded and sniffed the air. She looked at the towel and frowned. “Honey can you come with me for a moment?” you looked at her and nodded. “I’ll pause the episode. Need to feed the ants,” Scott said grabbing his backpack.

You stood up and walked with Nat to the hall. “Honey, I’m sorry to ask this like this, but did you forget to wear a pad?” Your face went white as a sheet, you were mortified. “I forgot. After swimming I didn’t want to be alone anymore, and I went here.” You said, eyes filling with tears. You suddenly inhaled deeply, “Mom, the couch. Scott, he’ll see.” Nat gave you a soft sweet smile, I’ll take care of it. You go change, and come back to the living room, I’ll take care of this.” You nodded, blinking the tears away. “It’s okay honey, it happens.” Nat gave you a hug. “Now, go, and I want you back here in 10 minutes, okay.” You nodded, ”Okay.” Nat turned you by your shoulders, “When you get back I’ll have some hot chocolate for you.” You walked a bit faster when she said that.

Within 10 minutes you were back in the living room, Scott was busy looking at his ants in the ant-farm. You walked over to the couch and saw it was cleaned. Scott noticed you, “Hey y/n, do you want to meet the ant’s?” you nodded and stepped closer and sat down. “These ants are always with me. They are loyal, brave and my partners in crime. They can lift 50 times their body weight. Did you know that?” You shook your head. “Can I watch you train sometime? It would be awesome to see them working together.” “Sure.” Scott smiled.

Nat came over to the couch with 3 mugs of hot chocolate. “Here Scott,” Nat said, setting his mug on the table in front of him. She sat down were you sat and made herself comfortable. “What are you two watching?” Nat said blowing on her chocolate. “What’s the show called again?” you asked Scott, making yourself comfortable against Nat. “Doctor Who, y/n never seen it before.” “Have you seen it, mom, it sounds really interesting.” You said looking up at her. “Bits and pieces. Never long enough to hold my attention.”

Scott gave you your hot chocolate and made himself comfortable before pressing play. After 2 episodes’, the family softly started to drop in. All in various ways of being distressed. It wasn’t that noticeable, but in little ways you noticed. Tony going straight to the bar to grab a drink. Clint sat down with Darcy on his lap and held her tight and didn’t say a word. Phil, Happy and Sam sat down at the table and were scrolling on the stark pad. Bruce came in to grab a cup of tea and left. Bucky and Steve were absent, and you wondered about them.

Suddenly Nat put her phone in front of you. it was a live feed from the gym. Steve and Bucky were smashing boxing bag after boxing bag. “They’re too caught up in their heads, honey. They’ll be here when they are calmed down. Just relax, watch tv.”

After a few hours Bucky and Steve finally entered the living room. They were beaten up and looked worse for wear. You immediately stood up and walked over to them. Bucky lifted you up and held you close, Steve was at your back. Their breathing was laboured, and they were doing the best they could to calm down.

After a few minutes, Tony spoke up. “Steve, the mission. Ross released Carter and took her somewhere. I’ve got Jarvis searching but nothings come up yet. Nor on Rumlow.” Steve sighed deeply, “Are you okay, sweetheart?” you shrugged and hugged Bucky closer. “Worried about you two.” “We’re here, sweetheart, we’ll keep you save.”

“Steve.” Tony said again. Steve let go of you slowly and turned to Tony. “Let’s sit down.” Bucky held you and sat down with you on the couch, with you straddling his lap. You didn’t want to let go and so didn’t he. Steve caressed your thigh to let you know he was there and with you. Everyone sat down by the couches, and paid attention to Steve.

“The Mission; find information about Carter and Rumlow, the ties with Ross and Hydra, and when we have all of that, we kill them. The world is better of without them. We burn Hydra and everyone in it.” Steve’s voice was hard and furious. It said, no backing down. We get the job done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question, has anyone read the following story? If yes, please tell me the title, I forgot to make a bookmark and cant remember the title.
> 
> Reader is send back in time with Bucky(cant remember if its an accident or not)They meet with Howard Stark, Jarvis and his wife. Reader meets Bucky and Steve in that timeframe, and tries to make them stay and not go to off to war. But it doesn't work and when Bucky leaves for the army, present time Bucky goes to his old apartment to help reader, cause he knows how hard it is for her, because Shuri unlocked those memories already in Wakanda. In the end they sit on a plane, and Steve is there, and he started remembering things while they were gone. He remembered the dress she wore, which he is wearing now in the plane.
> 
> If you know this story, please tell me, I've been searching for a long time, and just realised yesterday i could ask you all.  
Thank you xx


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An important question...

Everyone stayed a little while longer, but Steve decided he wanted to get you and Bucky to their apartment. Bucky still held you close, and kept you close even when they entered their bedroom, our bedroom. Steve grabbed some food on the way in, just two baguettes and Paturain. You loved it and couldn’t have enough of it.

“How about we all take a shower and go cuddle in bed?” Bucky suggested. You looked at his chest and opened your mouth to speak and closed it and opened it again and closed it again. “Take it slow, baby girl, we’ll be here.” Bucky said encouragingly and patient.

“I…I… Iwantedtoaskyouifyoutwowantedtosharethathugebathtubwithme.” You said very fast and embarrassed. “Are you sure, baby girl? I would never say no to you, but I want to know it’s what you want.” Bucky said caressing his hands on your back. “I want to, I trust you. I’ve bought bath bombs with lavender scent. It’s supposed to be calming. Do you both want to? I don’t want to force the two of you.” you whispered.

“We know you would never do that, sweetheart. I’ll go prepare the bath and get your clothes. I wanted to ask you something, and now is as good as time as any. Is it alright with you if we move your things to this bedroom?” Steve asked you with puppy eyes, worried he would get a rejection. “I’d like that,” you grinned at him. “Good. I’ll go do that stuff, you know I just said, and, you know,” Steve rambled. “God Stevie, just go grab her dressoir and set it down,” Bucky laughed. Steve blushed and went out of the room.

Within a few seconds, Steve was back, with your dressoir in his hands, not even breaking a sweat. “There you go, everything’s here.” Steve said with a shy smile. “Thank you, Stevie” you said standing up from Bucky’s lap, to give him a hug and a kiss.

“I’ll go start the water for the bath.” You smiled and turned to go to the bathroom. You left the door open so they knew they could come in when they wanted. You turned on the taps and grabbed the bath bombs you had put on the little table near the wall. You removed the rapping and left in fall in the tub. It started fizzling immediately and a purple-y colour.

To say you were nervous, would have been an understatement. You had been naked in front of them both, but this was different. You got lost in your head and didn’t notice Bucky turning off the taps. “Hey sunshine, are you oke?” Bucky asked while putting his fingers under your face to turn your head towards him. “Mm? Oh yeah, I got lost in my head.” You smiled. Bucky smiled at you and opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. “Is the water alright for you two? I wanted it to be a little on the hot side, but is that okay?” Bucky put his hand in the water; “It’s perfect, doll.”

You started stripping and you heard Bucky do as well. Steve walked in the bathroom and blushed a bit when he saw you both undressing. He started to strip as well, and tried to keep his eyes to himself, but his eyes wandered to you and Bucky. When you caught him looking at you, you smiled. He smiled back with a little blush on his face.

Bucky was the first to get in the tub and held a hand out for you to get in safely. “Careful, sunshine. Come here.” Bucky sat down and held you as you sat down next to him. The water reached above your chest, so you relaxed further, sighing at the warmth of the water. Bucky put his arm around you and held you close. You raised your head to see him already watching and smiling at you.

You two gazed in each other’s eyes and failed to see Steve stepping in the water. Steve slipped on some residue of the bath bomb and fell in your and Bucky’s lap. Steve’s head popped up out of the water, coughing up the water he inhaled. He’s face was as red as a tomato, and bucky couldn’t hold in his laugher. “Graceful as ever, Stevie. See doll, Captain America is all a front. When Stevie can relax he’s a total klutz.” “Shaddup, jerk. Are you okay y/n?” You burst out laughing and hugged him. “Are you okay? it was a hard fall.” “Yeah, just a bruised ego.” Steve sheepishly laughed.

You turned him so he could sit against your front. Bucky put his arm around you again, and simultaneously you al sighed. You closed your eyes and let one of your hands go over Steve’s chest. “I love this.” You whispered. “Me too” Bucky said softly. “Me three” Steve said, making you two snort.

Bucky grabbed one of the baguette's and tore a piece of of each of you. You held Bucky's piece while he opened the Paturain. you quickly dipped your piece in it and started eating. Bucky snickered when a bit fell on Steve's head. The first one was eaten in record time, and the second baguette was gone not after.

The three of you sat there loving and living in the moment. But you had a burning question. “Can I ask something?” you said quietly. “Of course, sweetheart.” Steve said looking up at you. You looked at his eyes and looked away to his feet, which he had propped up against the side of the tub. Your mind wandered with how you were going to ask this, it was personal and you were scared of the answer.

Steve turned and sat up, making you and bucky sit cross-legged. You looked in the water, but quickly looked up when you saw Steve’s parts in the water. Steve smiled at you blush, “It’s okay to look sweetheart. I am yours and Bucky’s, just like you two are mine. Ask us your question.” Steve encouraged you.

“Can you really not make a baby?” you said with tears in your eyes and closing them, for you dreading hearing the answer you didn’t want to hear. Steve and Bucky exchanged looks and slowly they began to smile. They didn’t realise they were talking with their eyes, until you stood up and stepped out of the bath. They heard a quiet sob and immediately stood up to come to you.

When Steve and Bucky held you, you openly sobbed. ”I’m sorry Steve, I shouldn’t have asked. I just always us three having a family.” You said hugging them both. “Sweetheart,” Steve said, lifting your head up, so you could look in his eyes, “I took a pill that made my sperm inert, as a promise to Bucky. But when I ended _that_, I stopped taking them. We can have a family, sweetheart.” Steve smiled at you while he dried your eyes. “Really??” you sniffed. “You both can have kids?” Bucky and Steve wore a matching smile, “Yes baby girl, we can be fathers, to _your_ babies.“ You started crying again. “Thank God” you sighed, hiccupping.

“But before we start practicing making babies, we need to talk about some important stuff, like the serum.” Steve smiled with tears in his eyes. ”But now, let get you in your pj’s. its to cold for you to be standing in the cold like this, baby girl, however lovely you look like this” Bucky said with his sexy smile.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is longer this time, cause I don't want to split it or make it less.

You fell asleep as your head it your pillow. Well pillow, Bucky’s shoulder to be exact. Bucky and Steve had a long talk after you were asleep after your talk, and decided to ask Bruce, and if need be, Tony, to make sure everything was alright with the three of you to have kids. They talked well into the early morning. At 5 Steve’s alarm went off, and he stood up, waking you in the process. You started to sit up, but Bucky pulled you back in his arms. “Stay” he said in his sleepy voice.

“I’m going for a run with Sam, sweetheart, I’ll be back in 2 hours tops.” Steve told you. You nodded and smiled at him while you huddled closer to Bucky, basking in his warmth. The warmth lulled you back to sleep so quickly you missed Steve giving you and Bucky a kiss when he left.

At half past 7 you awoke to the smell of pancakes. you smile and stretched in Bucky’s arms. “Morning sweet cheeks,” Bucky said caressing you just above your bum. “Mor’ng Bucky,” you said shuffling closer to Bucky to inhale his scent. You wrapped your arm around his back and squeezed him closer.

“Hey sleepyheads, wake up! I’ve made pancakes. And Sam’s here, so get dressed Buck.” Steve said that last bit a bit weird. in the door opening. You lifted your head and looked at Bucky. He noticed you looking and opened his eyes to look at you. “What??” Bucky said innocently. “What did Steve mean with 'get dressed Buck' in that tone? What did you do?” “It was not my fault! Steve and I had a very, _very_ good night, and when I woke up, Steve was gone for a run and would be back soon. So I got up and made him breakfast. But Sam was with Steve when they came back. They came in the kitchen, just as I bended to grab something that fell. Sam fainted when I saw my ‘sculpted-by-a-god’s’ body. Don’t know if I need to be flattered or not.” Bucky told you while keeping a straight face. You looked at him and burst out laughing. “You idiot! Oh I wish I had been there.” you cried with laughter. You rolled away from Bucky and got up. You threw him a shirt and sweats that you found on the ground. “Get dressed” You smiled. When you almost were out of the room, you started; ”Hey Buck,” he looked at you” Try not to flash anyone besides Stevie and me”. You closed the door quickly, proud and embarrassed for saying that.

You entered the kitchen and sat on the stool next to Sam. “Hey Sammie, how are you?” I’m good Cat-girl, Steve almost fell in a puddle, so my day started great!” Sam grinned so big you thought he’d split. “Buuut, how are you doing? Today is a big day I’ve heard.” “Yeah, ‘m kind of scared though.” Sam frowned, “Why?” ”Because, I don’t know. she’s a stranger, and I don’t like to talk about the past. It hurts.” You said looking at the plate Steve put down in front of you. “I can’t take away those fears for you, cat-girl. But I can promise you that it will be a good thing for you. Talking to someone with no judgement and can give you some tools to work with going forward. She is a good friend of mine and takes her job very serious. You’ll like her.” Sam said with a smile. “Yeah, we’ll see. Can’t wait for it to be over though.”

Bucky hugged you from behind. ”When you’re done, all of your things will have arrived for your garden upstairs. Think off that, sweet cheeks.” Bucky kissed your head and together you talked for a while before you had to go.

Bucky and Steve went with you to the therapist. The waiting room had a soft yellow colour and looked very cosy with its soft furniture. “This doesn’t look like a waiting room.” You murmured. “Yeah, Janey’s like that. She doesn’t want it to be too clinical, but to make you feel at home and have a relaxing environment. And the couch inside is soo soft.” Bucky said lovingly.

Before you could take more, the door opened, and a young woman stood in the opening. She had black hair, it was curled and really shiny. She wore red glasses, matching her bracelet and her necklace. She smiled at you; “Hello, I’m Janey. You must be Y/N. Please come in.” She said and stood aside to let you in. You blinked and looked at Bucky and Steve. They smiled and nodded at you. “We’ll be here when you’re done.” Steve said.

You stood up and walked over to Janey. She held her hand out and you softly shaked it. “Come in,” She said and closed the door behind you, ”Would you like something to drink. I’ve got a coffee-maker that also makes hot chocolate.” Janey smiled at you. “Yes please.”

Janey made your hot chocolate, and in the meantime, you looked around in the room. There were paintings on the wall, an open closed with puzzles, paper and pencils, books, all kinds of stuff. There was a little desk, with a computer, and it had 2 seats with it. On the couch where you sat, there was a crocheted pillow. You let your hand go over it and was amazed at the softness.

“Here you go, y/n. Do you do crochet work?” Janey asked. “No, I’ve never learned.” “Would you like me to teach you? It isn’t very hard, and once you know the basics, it’s a bit addicting.” Janey said. “Why?” you asked. “Because it’s fun to do. Not many people nowadays like to crochet. My gran taught me how to do it, and it always relaxes me.” “I don’t know, what if I can’t do it?” You said looking at the pillow again. “Then I’ll teach you how to knit.” She shrugged. “Okay, I’d like that.” You raised your lips a bit to smile, but you didn’t know if it came across. “Perfect,” Janey said standing up and walking to the closed, taking out a box. She walked over to you and sat down next to you, but not close enough to go in your safety bubble. “What’s your favourite colour?” Janey held the box closer and it was filled with different colours of wool. “I like that green colour.” “Okay, and I’ll take the blue. This is a crochet hook, your tool. We’ll make a square.” She showed you how to start and together you made square.

“Janey?” She hummed at you. “Is this therapy? Pepper told me that she talks to you about her problems, but you haven’t asked me about mine.” Janey put her crochet work down and sat sideways on the couch with her left feet under her leg. “This is your first time coming here, y/n. The first time doing something like this is always very hard, especially this. So, I wanted to make you comfortable. I don’t want you to feel pressured to talk. When I want to share with me, you can, and I won’t judge you. this is a safe place, everything you say here, stays here.” She said with and soft and honest smile.

“I.. I.. I.. I don’t know what to say. What do I say?” you said with tears in your eyes but blinked them away. “Whatever you feel comfortable with. We can start small and work up to the heavier stuff. What do you say we talk about….” Shay said thinking of something, but you interrupted her. “I’m scared.” You said in a small voice, and pulled your knees to your chest. “What are you scared of?” Janey softly said. “I’m scared Hydra will find me. I’m scared that Steve and Bucky won’t want me anymore when I become too much to handle. I’m scared I’ll do something wrong and mom and dad will hate me. I don’t want to work for shield, my gene pools jerks worked for hydra and were undercover in shield. Perhaps someone will know them and take to me about them, that is my fault they’re dead. But I’m glad they’re dead. They hurt me a lot, and they hurt Bucky. Darcy, they hurt her to get to me. But she accepted me and wanted me to be her sister. Nat and Clint want to be my mom and dad, and I call them that, but I’m scared if I do something wrong, they’ll be angry and hurt me. I know they won’t, but I’m still scared.” You word-vomited.

“Oh, y/n. I can understand why you are so sad and scared. With those jerks being hydra, I can understand why you feel like you feel. The anxiety, the fear of rejection, they all play a big roll in your life. There are different ways that can help you live your life a bit less hard for you. life is a marathon, not a sprint. The road ahead will be difficult sometimes, but you have a great support net behind you.” Janey smiled that last part at you.

“They’re my family,” you smiled with tears running down your face. “I love them,” you smiled. “Can you help me? Please?” Janey held her arms out, indicating she wanted to give you a hug. You nibbled you lip and went to hug her. Her hug felt different than your moms, but it was nice and welcome.

“How about I give you some homework? Things you can do for the next time you come, it will give you something to do, and won’t make you as nervous as today. If you don’t know the answers, it is okay. This isn’t a test, you can’t fail. It will help you and me to help you. Oaky?” Janey asked you.

“Okay,” you said. “Fantastic.” Janey smiled. She stood up and grabbed a paper and a pen. “Right, so I’ll write down a few questions, and you can answer then, if you can. It doesn’t matter how long your answers are, if its one word or you write down a page full. This is a process, okay.” You nodded and watched her write.

After she was finished writing your questions, she handed you the paper. “Would you like to take your crochet work with you?” “Yes please, I liked it.” you answered. “Okay, I have a bag her for you, so the ball won’t roll away. So how about next week, same time? Does that work for you?” you nodded and said thanks. She walked with you to the door and opened it for you. “See you next week y/n. and remember, don’t worry to much about the questions okay?” “Okay” you smiled.

You walked out of the door and didn’t see Steve and Bucky. Instead you saw Darcy. “Hey sis, your perfect specimens asked me to pick you up, they had a mission come up. But you don’t have time to worry. The garden stuff came, come!” She grabbed your arms and started running. “The plants are gorgeous, y/n, Scotty said he’ll help bring the furniture upstairs. He didn’t go on the mission with the rest. So he can help put them together.” Darcy smiled.

“Let me take this to the apartment first, then we go up. I can’t wait to see.” You laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may not be what some people experience with therapy, but I have. 
> 
> I pictured Janey as Moira from Rizzoli and Ilse, but with more people skills.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new visitor

After dropping your stuff in your apartment, the two of you went to the living room. It was filled with furniture and plants. “Wow,” you said amazed. Seeing the real thing, was very different then on the laptop.

“Hey Y/N, look at this hydrangea, the flowers are filled with little flowers!” Scot exclaimed. “When everything in their own spot, I’m gonna shrink and watch everything up close.” You laughed and went over to look at the plants. You and Darcy oowed and awed over the plants. 

“Shall we get going? I want to build,” you smiled at Darcy and Scott. “Lead the way, sis,” Darcy grinned at you. “Jarvis, can you hold the elevator doors open? So we can get as much with us in one time?” you asked. “Of course, miss, I would suggest though to leave the plants here for now. they could get damaged while building the furniture. “ Jarvis suggested. “Your right Jarvis, as usual.” You smiled.

Together you put all the furniture in the elevator and went to the top floor. You took your phone and searched for the photo you made of you plans. “Darc, Scott, look.” You said and they walked over to you. they looked over your shoulder at the photo. “Over their I want the seating area, with the shade-thingy. There the raised beds, and their the raised beds with 3 tiers, so its close to the barbeque. The pots and plants we can figure out later.” You said.

“Okay,“ Scott said, ”How about we put everything in its place and then start to work. I think it's best to start on the seating area first, so we can relax before we continue. Sounds good?” you smiled and nodded. “Thank you both for helping me.” “Of course, that’s what we do.” Scott grinned.

Together you put everything in its place, and when that was done, you started on the furniture. During the build, you notice Darcy had a real bad mouth when it came to instructions on paper. She yelled at the instructions and cursed like a sailor when she hit her thumb with the hammer. Scott had lots of patience, you two worked well with each other.

“How come you know all this stuff? What things to use and how to do it?” you asked him. “I have one in my garden at home. And I made one for my ex-wife and her husband. He’s not that good with manual labour." He whispered like it was a secret. “And he’s a cop too, God knows how he does his work. But he looks after my daughter like she was his own, so, you know.” “What is your daughter’s name?” ”Cassie, it’s short for Cassandra. She is an awesome kid. Full of life and love. She would like you,” Scott smiled while he finished the last bolt. “And this is the couch, why don’t you go and grab the pillows downstairs, and I’ll help Darcy before that chair is a safety hazard.” “Okay,” you said and skipped to the elevator.

Once you were at the living room, you looked for the boxes with the pillows. You heard the elevator doors open and the voices of Steve and Bucky came in. You jumped up and ran over to them. Once they saw you, you already were launching off to jump on Bucky. He caught you and held you safe to him. You put your head in his neck and smelled him. _He smells soo good._ You kissed his neck and hugged him closer. “Someone’s glad your home, Buck, “you heard Steve laugh. You turned your neck and looked at Steve. You made grabby hands towards Steve, he smiled and came closer. “Hey babydoll,” “Hi Stevie,” you lifted your head and kissed him.

“Miss y/n, Mr Lang asked if you were okay, you’ve been gone for some time he says.” Jarvis suddenly spoke. “I’m okay Jarvis, I’ll be up soon.” You smiled at Bucky and Steve, “Scott, Darcy and me have been busy upstairs, I came here to take the pillows upstairs, you can help me carry,” You grinned. You wriggled out of Bucky’s hold and ran over to the boxes. You started pushing them on the floor, but Steve grabbed one box and Bucky another.

While Steve turned his back, you winked at Bucky. You crouched down a bit and wiggled your bum, just like Cutie does when he sees his prey. Bucky was really doing his best not to laugh; you could see it. And they, you pounced. You ran and jumped so quickly; Steve had no idea what happened. You grabbed his shoulders to haul yourself you and hooked your legs around his waist. You whispered in his ear, “Got you.”

Steve shrieked and dropped the box he had been holding. He grabbed your hands and held them tight. “She’s got you, Stevie. Oh baby, that was amazing.” Bucky laughed hysterically. “You are really stealthy.” You grinned at him. “Come on, Scott and Darcy are waiting.” “Hold on tight, sweetheart, your in for a ride.” Steve bended to grab the box he’d dropped, and looked over at Bucky, who was still laughing. “Are you coming, jerk?” Steve questions. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” He giggled hysterically.

You pushed yourself against Steve, like your body could make him move. “Come on, Stevie,” you whined. “Let’s go.” “If you keep doing that, we won’t go at all. Stop whining, babygirl.” Steve pinched your leg while saying that. You immediately stop rocking yourself and mumbled softly sorry. “I know, babygirl, everything’s okay, i'm not mad.” Together, with you still on Steve’s back, you went back upstairs.

When the elevator doors opened, you saw Scott and Darcy sitting on the chairs. “Wow, its beautiful,” you whispered. “You have great taste, sunshine, let’s get the pillows on them.” Once near the chairs, Scott opened his eyes, saw you and immediately stood up. “Hey, cap-captain, Steve, S-Sargent Barnes.” Scott fumbled. “Scott, how many times do we need to tell you, it's Steve and Bucky,” Bucky smiled. “Yeah right sorry.” Scott blushed a bit.

While bucky and Steve opened the boxes, a loud roar was heard. You looked where to sound was coming from and saw a huge light beam with different colours coming down from the sky. You heard the others talking but couldn’t hear them. _Is it him, it can’t be!!!_

There he was, your favourite superhero,(not counting Bucky and Steve, because they were our number one in everything) you stood with your mouth open and big eyes as Thor walked towards your group.

“MY FRIENDS!! How great it is to see you all again!” Thor said enthusiastically. “Great to see you to big guy.” Darcy said, “Question, why do you have a black cat on you shoulder?”


	43. Chapter 43

“Lady Darcy, how perceptive you are,” Thor smiled. “This is my brother Loki. Father took away his powers as his penance, and made mother turn him in to a cat before he was exiled.” Thor said sadly. Loki bit on Thor’s ear, making him wince a bit. “My brother understands everything, mother made sure of that, she wanted to make sure he could defend himself, if anything should happen.” To which Loki turned around on his shoulder and let slid down on Thor’s arms, body and legs, with his claws out, making red marks on his skin. Once he was on the floor he turned around, wiped his back paws to Thor, like a cat that came out of the litterbox, and walked away with his tail up high.

“Why a cat?” Darcy asked, looking at Loki. ”My mother does not want Loki to be noticed by mortals. Only we, here now, know that Loki is a cat. I don’t know if Loki wants to be known to the rest of our friends, but until we know, I promised mother to protect and look after him, while making sure no mortal gets to know he is a cat.” Thor replied sadly.

“Is there a way Loki can turn back to... himself?” you asked Thor, while looking at Loki. “My father promised my mother that he can return to himself, without magic of course, if he saves someone he cares deeply for. If he does that, Father promised he would turn Loki in a mortal.” Thor answered frowning. The others kept talking but you were looking at Loki

You looked at how regal Loki walked, for sure he was a prince. He noticed you looking and looked directly at you and hissed. You crouched down and held your hand out to him. He looked at you sceptically, but ultimately softly walked closer. Just when he was in reach, the elevator doors opened, and Loki bolted it. You sighed and stoop up.

Sam and Nat walked over, glancing at the cat that stormed past. “Wow Cat-girl, this looks really good!” Sam said, making hart-eyes to the barbeque. “It is, isn’t it. I can’t wait to sit here one evening.” you grinned. “We can hang some lights on the beams to make it cosier.” You didn’t notice the green eyes looking back at you.

Everyone sat down and continued chatting. You wanted to continue building and went to the box with the raised beds and started building. You were happily building, not noticing anything around you.

When you heard the elevator open and close but didn’t bother to look. After a while you notice no one was chatting anymore and it made you nervous. You held your hands still as possible and didn’t try to move. Your breathing started to get harder and you beginning to panic.

A soft mew and a soft bump on your elbow made you look down. You let out a mix between a sob and laughter. “You scared me, Cutie, I’m going to give you a little bell for your collar, so you can’t scare me anymore.“ you sniffed. You saw something move in the corner of your eye, your breath hitched, and you held Cutie closer in your arms.

“Mreooww??” you heard, making you look at the moved object. Loki. “You scared me, you too are going to get a bell,” you said play fulling while mock glaring, so Loki understood you really went mad. Slowly Loki walked a bit forward and sat down about a meter away form you. He nodded his head at Cutie in your arms. “This is Cutie, I saved her when she was a baby.” You said looking down at Cutie with a smile, while Cutie looked up at you. “We met a few years ago and adopted each other. “ You smiled through your tears. “My life wasn’t the best one, I was held a prisoner, escaped when Bucky saved me, lived alone for 2 years and a few days ago I met my soulmates and here I am.” You smiled. Loki nodded and you heard a little rumble.

“Loki, when was the last time you ate?” Loki looked uncomfortable and looked at his paws, pushing a screw. “Loki, please tell me?” you implored. He looked at you with sad eyes, and he rumbled once again. ”Okay come on, we’re going to search for something for you. Cutie eats cat food and cat treats, but knowing you are not a real cat, I think that you won’t like it. let’s look at what we have in the fridge downstairs.”

You stood up with Cutie and looked over at Loki. “I know you don’t trust me right now; I have problems with that too. But know you can be yourself around me. I would like to be your friend, I don’t have a lot of friends, so, you know. I’m going to stop talking now, jep, stop talking.” You thought you heard a snicker and jumped when you felt Loki jump on you shoulder. You looked over at him and looked him in the eyes. he blinked and nodded, you smiled at him.

Once in the apartment, you put Cutie on the counter, Loki jumping next to her. Cute gave him a little head bump on the shoulder, to which Loki froze. You pretended not to see and gave Cutie her food.

“Now lets see, I’ve seen Cutie eats some desserts once, would you like to try?” you said looking in the fridge. “Or ice cream? Desserts are more filling I think.” Loki jumped on your shoulder and looked in the fridge. He started pointing at things and you explained what things were. His eyes almost bulged out when he saw the cupcakes you had hidden away. “MEAOOOWW!!!” he said pointing his paw at the cupcakes.

You took the box and 2 plates and went to the table Loki jumped on the table, and looked at you, saying with his eyes, ‘hurry up!’. You opened the box and let Loki point at the one he wanted. You grabbed the one he pointed at and put it on his plate. You grabbed yours and smiled at him. Together you finished the cupcakes and you smiled at Loki as he curled up on the table to fall asleep.

You washed the dishes and took the piece of paper that had your homework on it. you grabbed a note-block and a pen. You wrote the first question down and wrote words down you thought. With every word you described why you wrote it and what in meant for you. you were so in the zone; you didn’t notice Steve and Bucky coming in the apartment. Only when Loki made an angry hiss, you looked up and saw them.

“Play nice, Loki. They are my soulmates.” Loki looked at you and blinked. “Go back to sleep, Lokes, everything’s alright.” Loki looked sceptically at them but looked at you and you nodded and smiled at him. He stood up, jumped over to the counter and jumped on the fridge. He curled around himself and kept one eye open looking at Steve and Bucky. But he saw how you interacted with them and for some reason trusted your judgement. What did he had to lose anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, suggestions, all is welcome!


	44. Chapter 44

“Hey Doll, tonight’s movie night and Darcy requested Aquaman. How about it?” Bucky asked, drying the dishes and Steve washed them. You chose an easy dinner, spaghetti Bolognese, and it was delicious. You wanted to ask them about the mission while you were at the therapist, but you wanted them to tell you themself. “Doll?” Bucky said turning to you. “Hmm?” you said looking at your notebook, but not seeing it.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Bucky asked, putting the dishcloth down and leaning on the counter on front of you. “I’ve been busy with my homework. And I’ve been wondering about some things, you know, little things I can’t explain.” You said with a frown.

“What things?” Steve asked, drying his hands on Bucky’s back, making Bucky smack his hands away. “Well, I have homework from Janey. I’m scared about a lot of things, but those things are normal.” Steve lifted his eyebrow.” Well, for me anyway. But there is one thing I can’t explain.” You said frowning.

“What is it?” Bucky asked. “Well, you know the music show, where we met again? I got a phone call from the movie theatre, telling me that the show was overbooked or something, can’t remember what the reason was exactly, and they wanted me to go another day or give me my money back. Sounds weird, but okay. But I started thinking; I don’t know how they got my number. I didn’t pay online, cause of being traced, I bought it at the theatre itself. I don’t know anyone who works there, so how did they call me?” You asked, looking at Steve and Bucky if they would have the answer.

“That certainly is strange, did you tell anyone that you were going to the show?” Steve asked. “I told my boss, when he asked me if I could work late. But I said I couldn’t because of the show. I said it at work, so the customers could have overheard. But that still doesn’t explain how the customers could have gotten my number.” You said, twirling your pen.

“Do your ex-co-works have you number? Perhaps they could have given someone your number.” Steve asked. “I don’t know, they could have gotten the number from the boss, he wasn’t that keep on security. One of the reason’s I worked there, low chance of hydra finding me.”

“Can I have your phone, doll?“ Bucky said. You gave him your phone and looked at him tapping away. “I can’t find any signs of espionage, but it could be hidden deeper. We need Stark to look at it.” Bucky said, taking his phone out and setting them next to each other. “What are you doing?” You said, changing your position to sitting with your knees on the chair, hanging over the counter to look at the phones.

“Well, you have all these cute photos from Cutie and yourself, I’m going to snatch a few of them.” Bucky smirked. “Steve, stop him!” You said hanging over the counter to grab your phone. Bucky grabbed them and leaped backwords. “Steve, you’re going to love these photos, she’s so cute.” Steve grabbed you, just as you were going to fall of the counter. “Sweetheart, be careful. You could get hurt.” Steve smiled. “Besides, I want to know what you looked like, when we weren’t together yet.” Steve smiled, holding you in his arms and kissing your pouting lips.

“Done. Aww sunshine, don’t pout, I’ve got some photos of Stevie when he was little. Becca’s kept them; they’re not known to the public, so outside of the family no one knows of them.” Bucky grinned. “There are some chubby photos of Buck too, he was a chubby baby.” Steve half whispered in your ear. You giggled looking at Bucky’s pout.

“But going back to our question, do you want to watch Aquaman? Darcy says he looks like someone on the team.” Bucky said. “Okay. Are you coming too, Loki?” you said looking at the curled op cat on the fridge. He stood up, stretched and sat down. “Meow?”

“It’s a movie Darcy chose; I don’t know what it is. Something with water, I guess. Are you coming too?” You asked, still being held in Steve’s strong arms. “If you don’t like it you can come back here, you are safe here, right guys?” You said looking at Steve and Bucky. “That’s right, we’ll keep you safe, Loki,” Bucky said. Loki jumped on the counter and then on the floor, walking towards the front door. He looked back at the three of you, with a face that said, ‘are you coming, I’m going for you, you know.’

“Looks like he’s coming too,” you smiled at Steve, “Let’s go.” Steve put you down on the floor and took your hand. Together, with Loki walking in front of you three, you went to the common floor. When the elevator doors opened, you could here all the voices from the people already waiting. You saw Loki freeze, and looked at Bucky and pointed with your eyes down.

“Steve, why don’t you go ahead, you can start the movie, we’ll come when we can.” Bucky said looking at Steve. “I..” Steve begun, but you pointed again with your eyes to Loki and he got the message. “Alright. Be careful.” Steve said walking out the elevator.

“Jarvis, close the doors please, and take us back to the apartment.” Bucky said, crouching down beside Loki. You followed him and crouched down. “Hey, Loki. Loki? Look at me.” Bucky said softly and carefully not to scare him anymore. “Loki? We’re going back to the apartment, okay?” Bucky said. Loki blinked and looked at him. He quickly looked down and a tear fell on the floor.

“Loki, can I pick you up?” you asked. Loki turned his head around and looked at you. Those eyes, they said so much, so much pain, so much hurt, so much betrayal. “Oh, Loki, come here,” you said with your arms open and a teary voice. Loki stood up, on very shaky legs, and tears still falling down his face. You leaned forwards and picked him up and cuddled him to your chest.

“I’ve got you, Loki, I’ve got you.” You whispered holding him close. The elevator doors opened, and Bucky helped you up. Together you walked to the couch and sat down. “Do you want a cup of tea, sunshine?” Bucky asked. You nodded, “Yes please, can you make one for Loki too?” Bucky smiled at you, “Of course, sunshine.” You cuddled with Loki and when Bucky can back, the three of you cuddled together. Your legs on Bucky’s, his arm around you, and Loki held you with his front paws to make sure you didn’t leave. Bucky stroked him and together you kept telling him he was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know if I can update next week, I going to help my sister and her boyfriend with their first home, gonna paint and everything.
> 
> I love Loki and in my mind he isnt evil at all.
> 
> Leave comments, love to know what you think,
> 
> Thanks for reading


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tells his story.

“Loki, do you want your tea?” Bucky asked, looking at Loki. Loki nodded very slowly and opened his eyes to look at Bucky. “Do you want milk and sugar in your tea?” Loki shook his head no and then yes. “So, no milk, yes to sugar?” Loki nodded. “Right.” Bucky leaned forwards and made his tea to Loki’s liking. He sat back on the couch and held a cup closer to Loki’s face. Loki leaned backwards and started to lick up his tea. Slowly you could saw him relax. He released you and stood up your lap, drinking his tea.

When he finished his cup of tea, he sat down on your lap with his head low. ”It’s okay to be overwhelmed Loki, Y/N and I understand. We don’t know your story, but we will not judge you for yours. We only know one side, and that’s not yours. If you want to talk about it, we’re here, but we won’t push you. In your own time, whether that’s tomorrow or over 10 years or never, that’s okay.” Bucky said. Loki looked up at Bucky and saw honesty in his eyes and had heard no lie in his words. He pondered about what to do.

Bucky gave you your cup of tea and you leaned back in him arm, while he drank his. Suddenly Loki jumped of your lap and grabbed a pen that was on the table where you were writing not that long ago. He jumped on the table in front of you and put the pen down, he went back to grab the notepad and jumped back on the table. He licked his paw and open the notepad to a blank page. He took the pen in his mouth and tried to write. It didn’t work.

Loki spat out the pen and hissed at it. With his claws he ruined the page he had been trying to write on. When he was finished, Loki sat down with his head down, breathing hard.

“Jarvis, can you project a keyboard with buttons big enough for Loki to use with his paws? And show us on the tv what he’s writing?” Bucky asked. “Of course, sir.” Jarvis replied. Within seconds a see through blue keyboard appeared on the table in front of Loki, and the tv went on. “I don’t know if you ever used one before, but you push this when you have written a word to leave a space between the letters. You push this for a capitol and this if you have pushed in a wrong letter. And this big one if to begin a new paragraph.” Bucky explained. Loki nodded at Bucky, who was very interested at how it worked.

At first, Loki started to write slow, getting the hang of it. But after a few sentences he had the hang of it and wrote very fast. Not what you expected of a cat. Loki wrote down everything. Form his youth to his adulthood, having no friends, feeling like a burden to everyone. Apart from his mother Frigga, but she betrayed him the hardest. His fight with Thor on the Rainbow bridge, his father saying no again. About falling in the hands of Thanos, who tortured him, making him lose his mind enough to be mind controlled. He couldn’t stop himself with the invasion of Midgard, is was like he was locked in himself. Going back to the dungeons in Asgard, for a crime he tried so hard to fight. Helping Thor with Jane, about Thor’s sister, (Odin was too weak to fight her, so the Einherjar and Heimdal saved him), The attack on the ship where everyone was, when he just made peace with Thor. Being strangled by Thanos, but he was picked up by travellers and he had enough magic left in his body so they could safe him. Asgard found a new planet to life on, which wasn’t too far from Midgard, Odin was going to retire in a few decennia, but he made sure Loki would teach his lesson for his mistakes. And he wrote about being here, with Bucky and you. He never experienced such kindness from anyone, no judgement. He was scared of everyone here in the tower, and the world in fact. He wanted to try, but he knew he would be judged and be mocked and hurt again. He didn’t want anyone to know he was Loki, just a black cat Thor brought with him. He wanted to run away, but he knew Thor would find him. The last words he wrote, broke your heart.

‘I know I will never change to a human, no one, never ever loved me for me. Everyone has secrets about me, and I just want it to quit. I want to be left alone, no judgement, no arguments, no pain. I know I will never have peace, for the eyes of everyone in the nine realms, I will always be, Loki, God of lies and mischief. No one will ever like me, let alone love me for me. It would be better for everyone if I was dead. So many would have closure then. And I would be free then, hopefully. Asgard believes in Valhalla and Helheim, but the Frost giants don’t. so I hope the Frost giants are right. I don’t want to go to Helheim, I don’t want to spend eternity in Hell, my life would just continue then.”

You were crying with everything you read. Bucky held you close and kissed your head. “Loki, look at me,” Bucky said. Loki looked back at him and had tears running down his face. “I know you’re a man on the inside, but you’re a cat on the outside. Come here,” Bucky patted his lap, and Loki jumped. He still had his head down. “Loki, what we said, is still here. You are safe here. If you never want to leave this apartment again, that is okay. You don’t have to talk to anyone, we’ll keep everyone away from you, if that’s what you want. All I ask of you is that tomorrow you will listen to our story tomorrow, so you know why we are as we are. Our life wasn’t the best, and I feel you need to know our side too. If you still want to stay after that, we are going to talk about our house rules. Okay?” Loki nodded.

He sat down and started to get closer to you and Bucky so he could snuggle between the two of you. You put your arm around Loki, to give him a hug. And Bucky did the same.

“Jarvis? Can you save Loki’s text in my personal file and lock it with an heavily inscribed code, so Stark or anyone else can’t get to it?” Bucky said. “I will try sir, but if Mr. Stark knows about the fill, he’ll try to break the code.” Jarvis said. “Well, label it as something Stark won’t want to touch.” “Right sir, the file is named ‘Secret toys for my sexy soul marks’. Mr Stark does not want to know anything about the sex-life of ‘his superstar’, miss y/n.”

Bucky and Loki laughed, while you groaned. “Why?? Who wants to know that anyway??” you said hiding in Bucky’s neck. “Well, the logistics and everything, and Stevie’s Captain America, of course, people don’t know what a force he is in the bedroom.” Bucky winked. “I’ve heard people even write about him, all kinds of sexy stories. But experiencing it in real life is so much beter.” Bucky smirked at you. “Oh god, please, Bucky,” you whined embarrassed with your hand on his mouth. He grabbed our hand and pulled it of his mouth. ”Like that yeah,” Bucky smirked.

“Shut up, Bucky. I’m going to grab some snacks and were going to watch a fun movie. And you two,“ you said pointing at Bucky and Loki, “you are going to behave, otherwise, you two will sleep on the couch tonight.”

When you walked away, Bucky and Loki high-fived each other and started to search for a good movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, everything happened, Thanos happened, and the Avengers won.  
My timeline doesn't follow the movies, but things did happen.   
But our heroes are still alive and well.   
Odin is not yet retired, but Thor is learning how to be a good king, politics wise.   
Perhaps later the Guardians will appear too, who knows??
> 
> Tell me what you think, comments, feedback everything is welcome.


	46. Chapter 46

When you came back, Bucky and Loki were still sniggering. “Have you two chosen a movie yet?” you asked, setting the snacks down on the table. “Well, I was thinking Jumanji, Daddy’s home 2 or Zookeeper. Jumanji has 2 movies, not counting the original one, Daddy’s Home has a first movie, but I don’t like that one, and Zookeeper is one movie. I’m thinking Jumanji.” Bucky said.

“Well, let’s see that one then. Loki, I’ve got a lava cupcake for you, have you ever eaten one before?” you said. Loki shook his head. “It’s a chocolate cake with melted chocolate inside. It’s warm, but not hot enough to burn your mouth. Like to try?” Loki nodded. “Great, it’s in the microwave, it’ll be done in a few seconds. But keep it away from Steve, it’s his favourite.”

“What’s my favorite?” you all heard saying from the front door. “Man, I’m glad that movie is over, I wanted to come back here as soon as possible, but Clint and Tony forced me to stay. What’s that delicious smell? Is that my lava cake?” Steve said with heart eyes. “Yes, it is. I made one for Loki, he’s never had one before. Shall I make one for you too?”

Steve pouted, “But you bought them for me.” “Steve, you have some catching up to do, concerning Loki. Don’t say any nasty things to him, before you know what’s he’s been through.” You said. “What he’s been through? What about the havoc he brought to the world!?” Steve said, his mood changing.

Bucky saw Loki craw in on himself, “Steve, go to the bedroom, and ask Jarvis to replay the conversation under the name ‘Secret toys for my sexy soul marks’. Don’t come back before you’ve finished.” Bucky said, not with a harsh voice, but a voice that showed he was trying not to get angry at him. He recognized parts of Loki’s story in his.

“Why?!” Steve said harshly. Abruptly, Bucky stood up, “Because I told you too. Go and don’t come back until you’re finished.” Bucky said clenching his hands. “Fine!” Steve said throwing his hands up and stomping to the bedroom.

_Ding! _“Your cupcake is ready, Loki,” you smiled, walking over to get it. You also grabbed Bucky’s cheese union chips and a bottle of coke. “Here Loki, enjoy,” you placed the cupcake in front of him and he sniffed it first, his ears jumped up and he started to eat.

“Care to share, Bucky?” You asked waving the chips and coke. “Of course, sunshine.” Bucky smiled. You settled next to Bucky and he started the movie. You opened the chips and the coke, and both of you started to snack. Loki had finished his cupcake in record time for a cat. He went to lay down on your lap, with his head on Bucky’s knee to watch tv. You took one chip and held it in front of him. He smiled at, licked it, and went back to looking at the tv. “Guess that’s a no, Buck” “That’s okay, more for me,” Bucky grinned.

After some time, Steve came back. “Jarvis, pause the movie please.” He went to sit near Loki and looked at the floor. “Loki, I want to apologise. I’m sorry for the way I treated you and how I thought of you. Buck and Y/N are right, you can stay here as long as you want, and you don’t have to see anyone you don’t want to. I know I shouldn’t say this, but I have to protect my soulmates. Please don’t betray our trust, we will do anything to keep you safe, but don’t let my soulmates down. If a situation comes where you have to give someone an explanation, refer them to me. I’ll handle it. I’m really sorry Loki.” Steve said with his head down.

Loki stood up from your lap and jumped on he table in front of Steve. He tilted his head, looking for any evidence Steve was lying. He didn’t find any. He looked at you and Bucky, “Meouw?” “Yeah, that punk is still an idiot, but he’s learning.” Bucky laughed. “Jerk” Steve mumbled. Loki sniggered and jumped back in your lap.

“Come here, Stevie, we’re watching Jumanji.” You smiled. Steve stood up and walked over to you. But before he sat down he asked. “Hey Loki, have you ever eaten an ice cake?” Loki shook his head. “I’ve got one, let me get it.” Steve quickly ran over to the kitchen, grabbed 4 plates and spoons and the cake from the fridge.

“Here, It’s chocolate/coffee/caramel. Its so good.” Steve said, his mouth watering. He sat everything down on the table and went to cut it. “Here,” Bucky gave him one of his knives he had around the place when he saw Steve forgot one. “Thanks.” He cut a piece for everyone and dealt it around.

You took a piece and cringed. “No thanks, not for me. It’s to cold.” You said, bringing your hands to your mouth, trying to relieve the pain. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Steve said concerned. He put his plate down and looked at your face. You had tears in your eyes. “It hurts.” You whimpered.

“Does hot food hurt too?” Steve asked. “Sometimes.” You sniffed. “I think you need to see the dentist, he might help you with the pain. “NOOO!!” you screamed and stood up to run away. Loki looked at you and miauwed. Bucky grabbed you by your waist and sat you down on his lap.

“Let me go!!!” you yelled. “Y/n, calm down, we won’t hurt you. Shh, we’ll be with you when you go.” Steve said holding your hands, to stop you hitting them. “NO!! They’ll hurt me, like they did!!!” you screamed. “Y/n, I know how hard it is. I had that to when I went for the first few times. But they don’t torture you, they help you get rid of the pain.” Bucky said. “I don’t wanna!! Don’t make me, please, please don’t make me!!” you started crying and stopped kicking and screaming.

“Darlin’, how about coming with me, so you see what it is. I always have Steve with me, because it brings me back to there, but it’s starting to get less.” “I’ll have to think about it, Buck, I don’t know yet. I’m sorry” you said, your voice still wobbly.

“That’s all I ask.” Bucky said reassuring. “Now how about we go back to snuggling?” he said nuzzling his nose in your neck. “Buckyyy,” you whined. “Come on guys, we have a movie to watch, we can continue this later,” Steve said with a wink. Loki made a throw up kind of noise and sat demonstrative down, watching the tv. “Mauw,” Loki said, and the movie started to play again. Loki inclined his head and continued to watch the movie.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen when your mom calls?

Almost at the end of the movie, your phone started to ring. “Here you go, sweetheart,” Steve said giving you your phone. “Thanks, Love,” You said without knowing it. Steve and Bucky shared a warm smile.

“Hey mom,” you smiled. “Hey Sweetie, I wanted to ask how you were.” “I’m good, how are you?” “I’m good too. Are Steve and Bucky near?” “Yeah, we’re sitting on the couch together.” “Okay, go and grab a drink, I want to ask you something.”

You stood up and walked over to the kitchen. “What’s wrong mom? “ “Nothing’s wrong, sweetie, I just want you to give me an honest answer. How is your period, are you having a lot of cramps?” your face flushed. “Well,“ you whispered,” it hurts, sometimes the cramps are harsh. Is it normal to lose much blood? Every time I go to the toilet, I need to change the pad.” “That’s normal, you should always put on a clean pad when you go to the toilet. If you worry that your losing to much blood, we can always go to the doctor. Do you feel lightheaded and faint? If you are, I’m coming right away,” Nat said serious.

“No mom, I’m not. My belly just hurts, and my back. And I want to cry and laugh at the same time.” “That’s normal too, sweetie. What do you with the cramps?” “I have a heating thingy, and some pain meds.” “I don’t know how touchy you three are, and if you are willing to try, but orgasms help to with the cramps.”

“MOM!” you whisper-yelled. “Sweetie, you have two soulmates how would do anything to help you. A little blood won’t scare them. Ask them.” “But it’s… I don’t know, weird. How would I even ask them? And what if they’d say no?” “Sweetie, Steve and Bucky are super soldiers, they have heard every word we both said.” “Oh god,” you said mortified. Nat laughed, “Yeah, but they needed to know how you are and how they can help. I know you are shy, y/n, but you need to talk about things like this. They may be super soldiers, but they’re still men. Now, go and have a good night.” “Good night mom, love you” “Love you too, sweetie.” You both hang up, and you dreaded to go back to the couch.

_Well, shit. How do I face them now? I can’t ask them to do that, and now they will only do it, because Mom said it will help. O mom, why did you have to ask me that? _You slid down the cabinets and put your head on your knees. You didn’t hear Steve and Bucky walking over when you slid down, to far away in your thoughts. They sat down next to you.

“Sweetheart?” Steve said softly. You said nothing, didn’t even move. Steve glanced at Bucky with a frown. “Sunshine, everything’s alright. What Nat said is true, we will do anything we can do to help you. You don’t need to be embarrassed; we’ve seen each other naked anyway. Steve and I can handle a little blood. We don’t want to see you hurting.” Bucky said, laying on the ground to see your hanging face. He nudged your legs a part so he could see our eyes. “Do you want to try it? If it doesn’t help, we’ll stop, and if it works, well…” Bucky smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

You blushed even more. “Hey babygirl, look at me,” Steve said. “How about we take it slow. Let put on our pyjamas, put some calming music on and lay down in bed. We can snuggle first, and when, and only when, you want we’ll take it further. How about it?” Steve said, with his sweet smile that made your heart melt. “Okay.” You whispered.

Steve stood up, and lifted you up, holding you in his arms. You put your nose in his neck and inhaled._ God he smells nice, wonder if he tastes as nice._ You slowly put the tip of your tongue out and licked him. You didn’t taste anything, so you licked him again, but a little more. _Mmh you taste salty Stevie, like the popcorn we ate the other day. I wonder how Bucky tastes._

Steve felt you lick him and it almost made him drop you, and when you licked him for the second time, he wanted to kiss and taste you everywhere.to make you feel like the goddess you are. He walked faster to the bedroom and sat you down on the bed. Bucky closes the door. Even though Loki was in cat-shape, inside he was still a man and he didn’t want to share you with anyone but Steve, his other love of his life.

“W-What pyjama should I wear? Mom got me some special ones, but I don’t feel like wearing them right now.” you said looking at your feet. You heard a drawer being open and close. Bucky stood in front of you with a dark red t shirt. “How about you wear this? I like you wearing our clothes.” Bucky smiled his charming smile. You smiled at him, “Thank you Bucky, I like wearing your clothes too,” and blushed.

“Jarvis, can you play some calming music for us, some saxophone perhaps? And can you put the light at 30%” Steve asked. “Of course, sir,” Jarvis responded. Softly relaxing jazz music started to play, and the room darkened.

You quickly changed your clothes and watched Steve’s and Bucky’s feet dancing around the floor. Suddenly they stopped in front of you. Steve lifted your face. You held your eyes closed and bit your lip. “Babygirl, open your eyes.” Steve softly whispered. It wasn’t a command, but you immediately opened your eyes. You didn’t expect to see so much love and affection your soulmates eyes.

Steve and Bucky’s smile made you feel special, so loved. “Hey,” you softly said. “Hey,” Bucky smiled. “How about we go lie down now?” you nodded. Bucky and Steve took your hands and helped you stand up. They each gave you a quick kiss on the lips and led you to your place on the bed. They both laid down beside you, and Steve took you in his arms. Bucky put his arm around your stomach and softly caressed your side.

“You two really don’t find in icky?” you whispered. Bucky took your chin in his hand and made you look at him. “Darlin’, we love you, even if you would puke over us, we would still feel the luckiest men in the world, because it’s your puke.” Bucky said with such an honest face, you had to laugh. Steve laughed right with you and Bucky started to chime in.

“That sounded really weird, Bucky.” You smiled up at him. “But its true.” Bucky smiled, and Steve hummed his conformation. “Okay then. I guess we can try,” you smiled, blushing. Steve and Bucky kissed your forehand, and their hands started roaming. They went over your belly, making patterns you couldn’t describe. Slowly they went under your t shirt. Slowly their hands came up to your breasts. You sucked in a breath. Softly the circled your nipples, making them hard under their touch. Slowly Bucky’s hand started to go down, while Steve’s hands continued to play with your breasts. When Bucky reached you panties, he kissed your lips, and said, “Babygirl, I’ve been dreaming of this as long as I can remember, I love you.” And then his hand went in your panties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing something like this, should i continue or leave it with this?
> 
> Comments, advice, everything is welcome


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a fluffy smutty chapter. Don't read it if it make's you uncomfortable! Next chapter will be posted within minutes.

Bucky’s fingertips followed the elastic of your panties, going from one hip to the other. With his teeth he grabbed your t shirt and dragged in down your shoulder. “When I saw you licking Stevie back then, I wanted to kiss your neck so hard, you would have hickey’s all over.” Bucky whispered kissing your neck.

“I wanted to lie you down and kiss you all over your lovely, gorgeous, breath-taking body, babygirl. I wanted to kiss your ears,” Steve whispered kissing your ears,” Kiss your neck, kiss your perfect lips, and slowly make my way down your beautiful body.” Steve purred, leaving a trace of kisses while he spoke.

You didn’t know where to focus, on their words, that made you all gooey inside. Their hot kisses on your face and shoulders. Steve’s hand that was pinching your nipples and rolling them in his fingers. Or Bucky’s fingers, slowly caressing your mound.

Ever so slowly, not to frighten you, Bucky moved his fingers lower. He caressed your seam with his talented fingers, making you tingly all over. You gasped is Steve’s mouth, making him grin against your lips. “Sweetheart, can I take you shirt off, please?” Steve murmured against your lips. A breathy “Yeah,” came out your mouth.

Steve sat up a little and started lifting your shirt up, making goosepimples all over your body. He groaned when he saw Bucky’s hand in your panties. “You two look so sexy together.” Steve purred. He lifted your up by your shirt and in one swift movement, pulled it off you. “God, you’re beautiful,” Steve whispered to himself. You didn’t even know you closed your eyes, until you heard Steve speak.

“Stevie, can… can you take yours off too?” Steve smiled shyly, “For you, anything.” And in one movement pulled his shirt of. The way his body moved, made your mouth water. His abs moved like one, his chest and upper arms all pure muscle. It was like looking at a statue. You groaned looking at Steve and trusted your hips up unconsciously.

Bucky made his move while you trusted upwards. He slid two fingertips in you seam, making contact with your clit. You arched your back and moaned out loud. Bucky smiled kissing your shoulder slowly making his way to your nipple. Steve laid down a bit lower, with his mouth directly at the height of your breasts. He kissed every bit over your breast, leaving you nipple last. When he reached your nipple, he made eye contact with Bucky. Without words they both knew what to do. At the same time Bucky and Steve took your nipples in their mouth and sucked, followed by kisses.

Steve’s hand started to roam lower to, from your belly to your hip, ever so sensually. When he reached your inside thigh, he started kissing your nipple. You started moaning and trusting your hips up. Both of their lips on your nipples and Bucky’s fingers on your clit and Steve’s on your inner thigh, started to make a fire in you. ”Please,” you moaned, putting your hands, that were gripping the sheets to their heads, caressing their hear and running your hand down to their shoulders. You felt every muscle in their upper body, it made you wonder how they would feel on top of you, holding your soulmates when you were making love.

Your train of thought quickly went out of the window, when Steve slid his fingers in your panties. “Sweetheart, what’s your colour?” Steve’s asked. You didn’t understand at first, making Bucky stop his movement all together. “Babygirl, are you alright?’’ Bucky asked in concern. “Yeah, I’m.. I’m, please don’t stop. M sorry, what colour? Wadya mean?” Steve realised what they did, or didn’t do. “It’s the way we make sure everything’s alright. Green for good, yellow for slow down, and red for stop.” He explained, while Bucky made a face at him, saying, we’ll talk about this later. “Green, please, green,” you whined.

Immediately the continued to caressing and kissing you again. Steve’s fingers caressed your seam, lower than where Bucky was teasing your clit. Slowly Steve let his fingertip slide in your seam. He made eye contact with Bucky again, and slowly pushed his finger inside you, while Bucky made circles around your clit. You pushed your hips up, but they didn’t go very far. Bucky and Steve pinned your legs down with their arms.

“Careful, babygirl, slow down, you’ll get what you want.” Bucky smiled. “We’ll never leave you wanting. Steve pulled his finger out of you and slowly entered you again. But this time his finger was crooked, it made contact with a place that made you see stars. You made an obscene moan, which caused you to clasp your hands over your mouth. Bucky and Steve both grabbed your hands and held them close to their hearts. “Let us hear your pretty moans and gasps, babygirl.” Steve whispered.

“Please, please” you moaned, wiggling your hips and pushing your breasts up. Steve and Bucky nodded to each other and started. Bucky’s fingers started to rub harder against your clit, and Steve pulled and pushed his finger inside you faster and faster. The knot in your belly got tighter and tighter, and you made more noise than before. Somewhere in your mind you wondered if anyone in the tower could hear you, but a hard push against your g-spot made you lose those thought.

Steve and Bucky stopped kissing and sucking your breasts to look at your face. You looked like the goddess they thought you were. Your hair was all around your head, your lips red from kissing, your mouth open, and your eyes screwed shut. A nice red blush was on your face, with a light sheen of sweat around your forehead.

“Come sweetheart, come for us.” Steve cooed breathless; you really took their breath away with how you looked. “AAHHHH,” you screamed, pushing your breasts up and throwing your head back. Your body shook violently, making it harder for Steve and Bucky, but they continued stroking you, but now to prolong your orgasm as much as possible.

After a little while they withdrew their hands and wiped them down on Steve’s shirt. They laid down next to you, just looking at you with you blissed out face. Your shaking hands felt for their hands, and slowly you wrapped their hands and arms around your breasts. “Th-thank you. C-Can we t-try that again s-somet-time? I-I realalay liked it.” you stuttered and stumbled. “Of course, my sunshine, our beautiful babygirl, anything for you.” Bucky kissed your head and snuggled closer to you. “Baby, I’m going to grab a warm wet cloth, stay here and snuggle with Bucky okay?” Steve whispered. You nodded and smiled at him, “Hurry.” Steve saluted you “Yes ma’m.” making you and Bucky snort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did I do? Any pointers or tips for next time?
> 
> Let me know what you think


	49. Chapter 49

When Steve had cleaned you up and put some new clothes on you, he grabbed some water for everyone. “Thanks” you said, taking your water. Bucky’s phone gave sparkling kind of noise, and he looked at you with glee. “That’s my trek-boys, we have a chatgroup. Lemmi look,” Bucky said still holding you, but searching for his phone.

He couldn’t reach it , so Steve pulled you to him, rolling you on his body, while Bucky grumbled at Steve. “Hey sweetheart,” Steve said nuzzling your neck. You giggled and kissed his neck. Steve growled at you and started tickling your sides. You said up laughing hysterically and squirming on Steve’s abs.

Suddenly bucky sprung up with his hand in the air. “Yes!!” and did a happy dance. He turned around quickly, “Phil and Happy are coming over tomorrow to watch Star Trek. They also suggest starting with Star trek next generation, I was thinking that too.” Bucky giggled, actually giggled. Steve and you smiled at him, and just loved seeing him this happy, you both remembered when he wasn’t himself.

“You’ll have a big day today, doll, they are coming at 8.30 AM, and we’ll continue the whole day. Do we have enough snack’s?” Bucky said jumping in bed, and snuggling closer to you. “We must have enough, right? I bought a lot of stuff and you already had lots.” You asked. Steve poked your belly. “They really eat a lot, it’s like watching 3 bears eat up for their winter sleep,” he fake-whispered. “Hey!,” Bucky yelled. “Come here, babygirl, we need our beauty sleep. “What about me and my beauty sleep?” Steve winked at you. “You look good even coming out of a mission Stevie, Bucky said, grabbing you and holding you close.

“I like being given over like a doll by you two, it makes me feel small and precious,” you smiled, wriggling to get a good position between Steve’s and Bucky’s arms and legs. “Goodnight my hero’s,” you whispered. “Goodnight, our precious babydoll,” Steve and Bucky said simultaneously.

The next morning Bucky woke you up at 8 am, “Morn’ sunshine, the boys are coming over soon. We need to start prepping.” “Mmmh, okay. Hugs??”you said opening your arms wide. Bucky smiled at you and hoisted you out of bed. “ He sat you down on the end of the bed. “What do you want to wear, sunshine?” “You know you don’t have to do that Bucky. I don’t want you to feel like you need to do things like that for me.” You said looking at your feet.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Bucky said squatting before you. You shaked your head no. “Does it make you feel like you can’t do things for yourself?” again you shaked your head. “Does it make you feel pressured?” Again no. “Why cant I help you? you are not a burden and its not a task for me. I want to look after you, make you feel special, my special doll.” “Okay”, you whispered. “I just don’t want you to get tired of me and think I…” “Baby girl, I will never get tired of you, your my soulmate, and I would even pick your teeth if you wanted me too,” Bucky said to make you smile. 

You giggled, “I still need to get used to this treatment, it makes feel special and wanted and loved.” “You are all those things, sunshine.” Bucky kissed your nose. “And I have decided what you are going to wear,” Bucky grinned. He stood up and walked over to his dressoir. He searched and held it like a trophy. He let the t shirt fall down on his chest. It said; ‘this is my lucky red shirt’, with an emblem on it. It looked to big for you, you could wear it as a dress, a short one though. _That could be sexy, right?_

He walked over to your dressoir and grabbed panties, a soft bra and a soft stretchy pants. He walked in he bathroom and grabbed a pad. He walked back to you and saw you smiling at him. “And why is my babygirl smiling at me?” bucky said Laing the stuff beside you. “Just thinking how much I love you.” you smiled. “I love you too babygirl. Come on, stand up.” Bucky said hugging you close.

Bucky dressed you, all the way, and kissed your nose again. “My precious babygirl.” He lifted you up and cared you to the kitchen. “Soo, it is kind of early yet, and seeing Phil is on vacation, how about an early brunch?” “Yes! Can we make little sandwiches with strawberries? Where’s Stevie by the way?” “Out running with Sam, then a meeting and later he was going to spar with Clint and Scott.“ 

“Sir, mr Coulson and Mr Hogan are on their way.” Jarvis announced. “Great, can you start the tv up with Star trek Next generation?” Bucky asked. ”Of course sir, the losers show is ready for when you want.” “I’m gonna kill Stark. You can give him the message, Jarvis.” “Sir says he will be waiting for you.” Jarvis said.

Knock knock. “Can you let them in babygirl?” “Yep.” You said and jumped of the couch. You ran over to the door and yanked it open. ”Hi!” “Hey you,” Phil said, wow, you’re already aren’t you. We have the same shirt,” Phil opened his vest and showed his t shirt, same one you were wearing. And Happy did the same also wearing the same t shirt.

“Morgin’ guys, come in, we were just getting the snack and started a making an early brunch. “Great, we’ve bought doughnuts, scones, and pastries.” Happy said, showing the bags. “Let’s put everything on the table, sunshine, want to make those sandwiches?” “On it!” you smiled, skipping back to the kitchen. Phil and Happy were home in the apartment you noticed, they started making tea and coffee, grabbing stuff out of the cabinets, and in a short time the table was full with food and drinks.

Phil and Happy sat on one side of the couch closely together, and with small things you saw how in-tune they were. You smiled at them and snuggled closer to Bucky. Bucky put your legs on his and started to massage your legs. “Right Jarvis, start her up.”

You had to get in the series, but once you were in, you really liked it. The Borg looked scary, they made you think of the show Scott showed you; the cyberman. But you really liked Data, you understood him. Unlike Data you had emotions, but it was hard to deal with sometimes and made you question a lot. When you asked about Data, how he is going to be in the future. “Spoilers, y/n, but I can tell you, in the movie ‘First Contact’ he’s going to get an emotion chip.” Happy said, smiling you liked the series. “Really? Can they do that stuff in the real world too? Like the replicator and communicators and stuff?” You asked. “That’s the nice thing about this job. It feels like every new gadget comes right out of star trek, we can’t tell you everything, but some things really exist. Like the faser you weren’t supposed to see.” Phil smiled. “All right Jarvis, next season please!” Happy said.

The day went by quickly, in a flash is was late at night. Phil and Happy left, and after cleaning up, you two got ready for bed. “Why isn’t Steve here yet?” you questioned, as you snuggled closer to Bucky. “He’s got a lead for a mission, about that bitch.” You tensed in his arms. “Don’t worry babygirl, you are safe here in my arms.” Bucky said holding you tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, suggestions, feedback, all is welcome


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's home from his mission, and it hit him hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, Life's getting a bit harder here. Stay safe!

“Do you think they will get her?” you whispered. “We will do anything and everything to get her and anyone who was involved. I really want to kill anyone who has hurt you.” Bucky growled. Your conversation was cut short by loud meowing. “What’s that?” you asked while both of you jumped out of bed.

Bucky ran to your old room and opened the door. You gasped when you saw where the meowing came from. Loki was twisted in the sheets, tied around his body, dangling from the bed. “Loki, its me, Bucky, you are safe here!” Bucky said loudly. “Loki” bucky said inching forwards and going on his knees. “Loki, I’m going to help you get out, you are safe here.”

When Bucky tried to get Loki out, he started to fight harder, his paws bounced of his metal arm, but there were deep lines on his right arm. Quickly bucky got Loki loose, and Loki started to calm down. He started shivering and crying.

“Bucky?” you whispered, but Loki heard you. he whipped his head to you, and he got of the bed and jumped in your arms. You held him close and told him he was safe, safe in your arms.

“Come lets go to bed.” Bucky said with his hand on your back. You walked back and sat with Loki on your lap. Bucky sat down on his side and together you waited for Loki to calm down. After a long time, he was calm enough to listen to all your words. And you both saw hurt and shame in his eyes.

“Loki, can I show you my story? Why I am how I am?” you whispered and not looking at Loki’s face, which Loki noted, and immediately started to pay attention to you. Loki didn’t know why, but he felt something for you and Bucky. He looked at you and saw you still not looking at him, but sideways, and holding Bucky’s hand. “Mew,” Loki nodded. “Jarvis has made videos of everything I’ve said about my life with hydra. Jarvis can you replay those videos please?” you asked, with a wobble in your voice. “Are you sure that’s wise, miss? My readings say you are showing signs of panic. “ Jarvis almost sounded human. “Yes, please Jarvis, I want Loki to know.” “Alright miss.”

The video’s played and Loki was very focused on everything he saw and heard. He started making plans in his head to keep you safe. When the videos ended, he saw you crying silently in Bucky’s arms. He climbed up to your face and licked your cheek. You put your arms around him and cuddled him close. Within a few seconds you and Loki were asleep, leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts.

After a long time, Steve came home. He was covered in scratches and bruises. He entered the bedroom and went straight to the bed. “Hey Stevie, be still, Loki and y/n are out.” “Loki?” Steve asked, “Yeah nightmare, I’ll tell you tomorrow, go and have a bath, and come to bed, you look worn out.” Steve kissed Bucky and cupped his face. “I love you, Buck.” Steve voice cracked. “I love you, Stevie.” Steve softly went on his knees and started to cry. “Love?” Bucky pulled his arm from around you softy to let you sleep, and went to hug Steve. “Come here,” Bucky said. Steve put his arms around Bucky’s neck and Bucky lifted him and walked with him to the bathroom. Just because Steve was bigger then before the war, didn’t mean Bucky couldn’t lift or manhandle him sometimes.

He stripped himself and Steve and walked with him in the shower. He washed all the grime and dirt from Steve’s body, being careful of the cuts and bruises. He kissed every one of them. When Bucky finished washing Steve, he just held him and let him cry it out.

“We-we… we saw w-where y/n was k-k-kept. A-a-and all t-t-the files of w-what the-they did t-to her. They m-mentioned y-you as w-well. I..I..” and he started sobbing again. “Th-they even h-had video’s of t-torturing h-her, r-raping h-her.” Steve looked up at Bucky, face red with tears and puffy. “I’m gonna kill them Buck, all of them. Rumlow, Sharon, even Ross is involved, I’m going to make them pay.” Bucky nodded at Steve, “I’ll be with you, always, till the end of the line. We’ll do this together.” Bucky kissed him. “But first, you’re coming with me, and we’re going to sit on the couch and you are going to watch the Grand Tour, I saw there was a new special. I’ll make you some lava-cakes and tea, okay?” Bucky looked in Steve’s eyes, hoping that Steve saw love, understanding, proudness and respect, but most of all love. Steve saw all of that, and tried to convey that in his own eyes. They didn’t need words, a look was enough to say how much they loved each other.

Bucky dried Steve off, sat him down on he toilet seat and dressed him in his own clothes, knowing it would relax him sooner. “Thank you, Buck,” Steve said looking at Bucky, who was still naked. He grabbed him by his bum, to get him closer. He looked up and said again ‘I love you’. He kissed the tip of Bucky’s length before taking him in his mouth. Bucky groaned and the warmth of Steve’s mouth. Steve was on a mission, his head was bopping so fast, Bucky’s legs were trembling. He grabbed Steve’s head, not to guide him, but to hold him., to feel close. One hard suck made Bucky come. He tried not to make a sound, because you and Loki were asleep, but even with his hand on his mouth, he let out a deep groan. Steve drew back and smiled at Bucky’s blissed out face. He put his arms around Bucky’s waist and put his head on his abdomen. Bucky laid his hands on Steve’s shoulders, and tried to get his breathing under control.

When he had his breath back, he drew back and kissed Steve. “Come lovie, let’s go watch your show.” They walked trough the bedroom, without making a sound, and grabbing some clothes for himself, and walked to the kitchen. Bucky dressed himself quickly and started making the lava-cakes and tea. Steve grabbed Bucky’s chips and coke.

“Sit down, Lovie, go and make a nice spot for us and up the show on.” Steve smiled and kissed him. He walked over to the couch and grabbed the blanket and pulled the table a bit closer. He searched for the new episode and when he got it, Bucky was there with his lava-cakes and the tea.

Bucky sat down next to Steve and gave him his cake. The cuddled closer and let out a sigh. Bucky kissed Steve’s forehead and grabbed the remote and pressed play. They watched the episode, and just before the end, Steve was asleep. Bucky pulled him better in his arms, and smiled. He grabbed the remote and went online. (It was so great to have internet on the tv) He looked for the new series of Top Gear, and started watching that. He’d never admit it to Steve, but he really liked the Grand Tour and Top Gear. Not the part when there were 5 presenters, that was awful to watch, it almost ruined the show. But the three they had now were great. He watched that, and felt his eyes dropping. And soon he too was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corona doesn't exist in my story, because our life right now is hard enough. I don't want to write about that in my story.
> 
> The new Top gear is really great, I really recommend it!!
> 
> comment's, feedback, idea's, all is greatly appreciated!


	51. Chapter 51

You woke to the sound of laughter, you blinked at looked around the room. The bedroom door was open, and you could hear Bucky and Steve laughing. You quickly grabbed a vest of Steve and walked towards that lovely sound.

They were at the table, eating little buns, and Loki eating some pudding. “Hiya doll, had a good sleep?” Bucky asked when he saw you. You walked over to him, “Yeah.” He grabbed your waist and hugged you. “Mornin’ babygirl, here, a chocolate bun. Do you have plans today?” Steve smiled, holding a plate with a buns towards you. “Uhm, I don’t know. I have to finish the stuff upstairs, Mom was going to train me someday, but I don’t know when. I need to finish my homework from Janey, we need to go to Tony to look at the agents. And we still need to look at paint for the living room.” 

“How about we help you with finishing upstairs? We can do your heavy lifting and once we finish, we can look at paint.” Bucky suggested. You nodded while munching on your chocolate bun. “What were the three of you laughing about by the way?” you asked. Loki started tapping something on his keyboard, and Jarvis started to say what he had written.

You had tears in your eyes from laughing when Jarvis was finished. ”I would love to see Thor in a wedding dress! How did that guy not notice?” you laughed. Loki smiled and shrugged.  
“We need to get a fake mission, where Thor has to dress up like that,” Bucky said wiping his eyes. “We can’t do that, he’s not stupid, he’ll know somethings up.” Steve smiled. 

Loki tapped away again, “Let Shellhead change his face with his electronics. The oaf still doesn’t know how to use Midgardian technology. While on Asgard, he showed me his hand-held device. I changed his, what’s it called, his ring music?, to Lady Sif’s angry rand at him. It really is marvellous. Some airheaded featherbrain of the court was trying to seduce him, and he didn’t notice.” Loki sniggered.

The four of you talked over breakfast for a while, and later went to go upstairs. “We need to fill those raised bed with the compost, then the pots. Darcy ordered some fairy lights for the shade thingy, and they would be delivered this afternoon.” You said, holding up one of the grasses and looking where it should go. “Right, we’ll fill the beds and pots up, and you place the plants where you want them.” Steve said with his organising voice. The three of you got to work and were working smiling and giggling at jokes Steve and Bucky were telling.

With your boys doing the heavy lifting, it didn’t take long before you were finished. You sat down with an oof and looked at everything around you. it was beautiful, the light from the sun highlighted some of the plants, the shade thing was in de perfect place, and best of all, you had done it together with your soulmates.

“And what are you smiling that gorgeous smile for?” Steve whispered in your ear. “I’m just really happy.” You smiled at him. Steve kissed your head and put his arms around you. he lifted you up and sat you down on his lap. Bucky shifted to take your vacant spot and lifted your legs in his lap. “I like seeing you this happy, sunshine.” Bucky whispered, caressing your legs. “I love you.” he said, looking at your legs.  
Remembering how bad they looked after one of your many tortures. “Buck?” Steve said, pulling him out of his mind, away form those memories. “Sunshine, we need to tell you something.” Bucky looked at Steve, letting him know, he needed to talk about the mission. 

Steve swallowed nervously, what didn’t make you feel comfortable. “What’s wrong?” you asked in a small voice, like the child that you had never gotten to be. Steve looked at you, with sorrow, pain and hurt. “The mission yesterday… we found the place.” You frowned, and blinked, and then it hit you. “That place?” “Yeah, with all the files and… and videos of your... your torture.”

You stiffened. Steve caressed you back and arms, while Bucky caressed your legs. After a while, you asked with a small voice; “Did everyone see?” “No, only Nat and I. She wanted to know how to hurt and kill them. Clint and Tony heard your screams, and they didn’t take it well. They went of to kill everyone in the building, whether they hurt you or not.” You hid in Steve’s arms, not wanting to remember, nor think about that Steve and Nat saw what was done to you. 

After a while, Bucky took out his phone. “I was thinking, how about we paint all the walls one colour, but leave one wall, and make our one scene? Steve’s very good at drawing, I bed you can draw the scene we would like. And then we could paint it on there.” Bucky said with a slight blush on his cheeks. “What kind of scene are you thinking of?” you asked, to which Steve quickly said, ”No nudes!”

Bucky and you snorted, “Nude’s only go in the bedroom, no-ones looking at what’s mine,” Bucky grinned and winked. You and Steve blushed and cuddled closer. “You too are so cute,” Bucky said, making a quick photo of you two.  



	52. Chapter 52

The rest of the day had been busy. The top floor was done, and it looked amazing. Together you decided that you would paint the walls a soft yellow, and Steve would try to draw a landscape. Nat had called, to ask how you were and that she wanted to start training you Monday at 7.30 am.

Now you were sitting on the stool near the counter and had your pencil in your mouth. Steve and Bucky were busy cooking and chatting. Loki was asleep, lying on the top of the couch. He was having a much-needed nap after Bucky and he chased each other in the apartment, seeing who was the stealthiest.

Steve had grabbed you in his arms, while they rusted past you both, making you almost topple you over. You turned and jumped on Steve like a koala, so you both could see them coming from every direction.

“I have a question,” you suddenly said, making Steve and Bucky turn toward you. they looked at you, gesturing for you to continue. “Lifegoals. I think I don’t have any. I don’t want to work in a dinner, a job at shield is nothing for me. Is it wrong just to want to be here, with you guys? That I take care of you, and our family? That I cook and clean and stuff. Or do you two want me to go out and work?” you asked looking at your notepad and twirling your pencil.

“Doll, what we want, is for you to feel comfortable and safe. If you want to work, you can. But if you don’t, that fine too. We would love to come home each day to find you here and welcomed us home. We don’t want to keep you here as a slave, to cook and clean and all the other things under the sun and not be appreciated. Whatever you want, we’ll back you. And if you do something and find out you don’t like it, you stop. That simple.” Bucky said, having walked over to grab one of your hands, while Steve grabbed the other one.

“Love you,” you said sitting up and leaning over to give them both a kiss. “Love you too sweetheart. Now go clean up and well have dinner.” Steve smiled. “Okay, da- Stevie,” you blushed and hurried out of the room. Steve raised his eyebrow and looked at Bucky. “Guess we’ll need to look at those files from Nat and Clint.”

_Meanwhile…_

“What happened over there? Why were you in custody?” Ross hissed at Sharon Carter, who was sitting next to Rumlow. “Complications. Your soldier made sure the captain can’t have kids. We need a new approach.”

“How about we give them a message? Showing them, hydra has their soulmate? We have enough footage to make them believe it.” Sharon suggested. “They found the location where she was kept, along with the footage.” Ross spat.

“Well, how about we use some creativity.” Rumlow purred in Sharons ear. “We’ll make new footage. Sharon will wear a facemask, with that bitch’s face. And I will be rough with her, just how you like it, isn’t it bunny?” Sharon smiled and bit her lip.

“Get it done.” Ross ordered. “I have to see what I can do at my end. Don’t send it without my authorisation. We need to do this my way.” He left the facility and got in the awaiting car. “To shield HQ.” he told the driver and the drove away.

_In the Lab_

“Hey Brucie, can you check this? I need a third opinion.” Tony asked walking over to Bruce, who was almost asleep on the couch after a hard day. He didn’t get the breakthrough he wanted with one of his experiments and had started to get a little green. Pepper managed to get him back and told him to relax. She had to leave for a meeting, and told Tony, of all people, to look after Bruce. Tony was a man who liked to joke and play around, but when it came to his soulmates or his family, he was very serious. But his mask, that he perfected over the years, sometimes showed otherwise. But now, he needed to help Bruce. So he needed Bruce to help him.

“What Tony, I’m not in the mood.” Bruce sighed. “I know, I know. But you need to check this.” Tony said enthusiastically. Bruce sighed and opened his eyes. He stretched his hand and took the tablet from Tony’s hand. He shot up, wide eyed and opened his mouth, but no words came out. Tony let Bruce think about it, before he spoke up again.

“T-Tones, babe, are you s-sure?” Bruce asked, still looking at the screen. “Yes, Brucie-bear. I’m sure.” Tony sat down next to Bruce and put his arm around him. “This one is yours, and I was thinking this for Pep. But it doesn’t feel right yet. I’m missing something.”

Bruce brushed away a tear. He sniffed, “How about you mix our birthstones instead of single-ing them out.” Tony looked over his shoulder, “Damn, I should have thought of that. Can I?” He asked. Bruce gave the pad back.

After a few minutes, Tony gave Bruce the pad back. “Like this?” Tony asked a but unsure of himself. “It’s perfect, babe, it’s perfect.” Bruce sniffed again. He put the pad next to him and turned to hug Tony. “Anthony Edward Stark, you are the best, inside and outside.” Bruce whispered in Tony’s ear. The continued to cuddle, until Tony said; “Come Bruce, let go make this real. We can surprise Pep when she comes home.”

“How can we finish this before Pep comes home? She’s going to be home in 5 hours. We can’t do that.” Bruce frowned. “Good I already started then. Come,” tony said standing up and taking Bruce’s hand and dragged him over to one of the machines in the lab.

“Oh god, Tony, they look amazing,” Bruce started to tear up again. “Hey Brucie, come on man,” Tony said hugging the man,” only the best for the ones that make me the best.” Tony smiled and kissed him. Bruce smiled and kissed him back. “Let’s make our rings.” Tony said against Bruce’s lips.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fury, Fury, Fury...

“Rogers, we need to know. and keep out of it. you too Barnes. Stark, be hard on her, we need to know.” Fury left the meeting room. “Man, I don’t want to do this.” Tony sighed leaning back in his chair, rubbing his face with his hand. Everyone in the room agreed, this was going to be hard and painful. “Where is y/n?” Tony asked, without looking at anyone in the room. “We are sparring in 20 minutes. Be ready.” Nat said.

\--

You groaned as your back hit the mat again. You had been sparring with Nat for 3 hours now, and you had enough of it. your back hurt, your arms and legs felt like jelly on sticks. The weekend helped you to mentally prepare, but now… now you just wanted to stay on the ground. You were so happy your period was over, otherwise you would have quite a long time ago.

“Come on, y/n, 2 more rounds and we’re done.” Nat smiled at you. She looked like she wasn’t even out of breath. You heard Clint and Darcy talking in the background, to soft for you to hear.

Suddenly the door slammed open. You quickly sat up and looked in the direction of the door. A raging Tony walked in, with his glove on. “You!! I thought we could trust YOU!” Tony yelled, coming closer to you. You jumped up and took a step back. You put your hands up. “Wh- whats going on?” you stammered. You couldn’t believe seeing him like this, eyes wide and angry, veins in his forehead clearly visible, and if his jaw was even more strained it would break.

“You _forgot_ to mention Hydra experimented on you, that you have _powers_. Is that why we like you so much? Are you a Hydra _spy_?” Tony roared. “Wha-, I.. I-I wasn’t exp… I’m not… what are you talking about??” you back off even further, almost in the corner of the training room. You tried to make yourself as small as possible, while remaining upright. It would hurt only more if you were down, you remembered. You could hear Darcy yelling at Clint to let her go. Nat was keeping an eye on you and Tony. But mostly on you.

“We have the files, y/n. We know Hydra experimented on you. how else could you have survived? Why would they want a little girl with 2 famous soul marks? What’s your agenda, take Barnes back with you, and let Rogers follow the breadcrumbs so he gets zapped too?” Tony spat, getting right in your face. You could feel the spit landing on your face.

“T-Tony, I don’t know what you’re saying. I wasn’t experimented on, I don’t know why they wanted me. Tony, please, I’m telling the truth, please, believe me.” You sobbed. “_Believe you_, a little girl that grew up in Hydra. That doesn’t know how to fight, fire a gun or doesn’t have any powers. What’s the use of _YOU_?” Tony said in front of you, with his gloved hand on your chest, powering up to fire.

“I DON’T KNOW!!! I ONLY KNEW PAIN! EVERY DAMN DAY OF MY LIFE! I ONLY LOOKED FORWARD TO DIE!!” You screamed. Your knees wobbled, and soon gave way. Tony’s hand was the only thing that kept you upright. Tony looked at your face, looking for any clues, even though he knew there wouldn’t be any.

“Please, if you’ve found somethings in me, like the words did with Bucky,” You looked at Tony, at his eyes,” then please kill me. I don’t want to hurt any of you, I’d rather die. Please Tony, please.” You had tears running down your face, shaking like mad, and so, so scared.

“Superstar, look at me,” Tony softly said. You shaked your head and stared at the floor, which you couldn’t see because of your tears. “Hey,” Tony whispered, lifting your face. You didn’t notice that his hand powered down, and returned to his wrist.

Tony felt so awful. He could see the fear in your eyes when he entered the training room. Your face was like an open book, he knew you hadn’t done anything he accused you of. He saw you retreating, going into a corner. He knew, everyone watching the live feed knew, that you hadn’t had any fighting skills, you had backed away like a scared rabbit, making yourself as small as possible. The sign of an abused person.

He knew, he had had of nanny’s, mentally and verbally abusing him. He reacted the same way you did. He shaked that thought out of his mind and looked at you. God, you looked so terrible. And he was the one that did that. How could you ever forgive him? He had to try.

“Hey,” Tony repeated. You looked at Tony, ”Tony please, if I’m bad, then kill me. Please.” You whispered. “Never, superstar.” Tears fell from his eyes as he whispered, ”Never. You did nothing wrong, you are safe here, for ever.” “B-B-But you s-said.” You hickuped. “I know. That was all false, a lie. Come, lets go to the meeting room.” He picked you up, knowing you couldn’t walk.

He signed to Nat and Clint to come along, and bring Darcy with him, who was sobbing and weak at the knees from what she had just witnessed. With every step, he could feel you shake, hear your laboured breathing. He lifted you up higher, carrying you like a kid and hugging you to his chest.

Phil opened the door of the meeting room. He could see how much it hurt Tony to do that, it was written all over his face. Tony walked over to Bruce and sat you down on the chair in next of him. He walked over to Pepper, who enveloped him in a big hug.

“Y/n? Can you look at me please?” Bruce calmly said. Your head hang low, but you looked at Bruce’s shoes. Bruce saw that you heard him, and went to sit on the floor. He took your hand in his and brushed your hair behind your ear. “Y/n, we will explain what just happened, but now you need to calm down. let me see those pretty eyes.” Your eye’s fluttered at Bruce, but you couldn’t look him in the eye.

“What Tony said, was right. We found the files Hydra kept on you. But however, never once did they say that the experimented on you, that they trained you, nothing. The only records they kept of you was how they hurt you. How you interacted with the winter soldier, and on occasion Barnes. Every hurtful thing Tony said was a lie. Director Fury ordered him to do that.” Bruce looked at you with so much sympathy.

“Ev’rythin’ else? All lies?” you whispered. Bruce nodded. “Fury needed to know for sure. He needed to know if you had a trigger that could be activated. I do want to do some tests on you, if you would allow it, but it has nothing to do with that. I just want to monitor your health.”

“Y/n?” you softly heard. You looked up, from where that broken voice came from. “C-can you ever f-forgive me? I’m so sorry.” Tony said with tears in his eyes, in the arms of Pepper.

You stood up, shaking, and grabbed everything you could to make your way to Tony. “You really believe I am safe, safe for everyone here? Nothing of Hydra is in me?” You whispered.

“As far as I know, Hydra didn’t mess with your mind or your genes. I can’t find anything that gives me a…” “Tony,“ You whispered, grabbing one of his hands out of Pepper’s hands, “If you ever do, and don’t know how to get rid of it, please end me. Don’t let me live if I ever show signs of-off…” Tony wrapped his arms around you. “I’m so sorry y/n. So sorry.”

You and tony hugged for a least 10 minutes, until Bucky and Steve couldn’t stand it anymore. They pushed themselves of the wall and tore you away from Tony. Bucky lifted you and Steve was at your back hugging you. You could feel their harts beating like crazy, you wondered if they could feel yours too.

“Sir, I have ordered a delivery from the places you all like to eat most. It will be here in 30 minutes. May I suggest that you all take the time to refresh and meet again in the common room?” Jarvis said.

It still amazed you how much he did. This wasn’t computer programming; this was his personality. Jarvis knew you all were miserable and wanted to help. “You’re right J. Thanks. You all heard him. Let’s go and meet in the living room.” Tony said, trying not to sound too emotional.

Steve and Bucky didn’t let you out of their sight for one moment. Steve sat on the toilet, while you took a quick shower. When you left the shower, Steve dried you off and put Bucky’s robe on you. in the bedroom, Bucky was waiting, with comforting clothes for you and Steve. He was already wearing his.

Without a word you walked over to Bucky, and he helped you get dressed. He gestured for you to sit down on the bed, and he started brushing your hair. He gave you two pigtails, he had made them for his sisters often enough, when they were sad. He didn’t even know he did it until he was finished.

Steve grabbed yours and Bucky’s hand and together you went to the living room. Cutie was walking right behind you, wanting to be near you.

The food had arrived, and everyone plumped down anywhere, as long at they were next to someone. You settled between Steve’s legs, and your legs on Bucky’s lap. You had pizza and dug in as soon as your plate was in your hand.

The tv went on and Clint decided that he wanted to watch the ‘Shaun the Sheep’ movie. No one argued and so you all sat together, still shaken and on edge, eating and watching a movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been having migraine for 22 days now, that's why the updates are so slow. I have trouble looking at the screen for to long.  
Hope you are all safe and well,
> 
> let me know what you thought.   
suggestions are welcome


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small chapter this time. My grandma died, and I just haven't got the motivation to write.

“Sweetheart, its time to wake up,” Steve murmured softly in your hair. “Mmhh, no, not yet.” You whined. “It’s almost 12, sweetheart, you can’t sleep the day away.” Steve said with a smile in his voice. “Says who?” you asked, turning your head backwards to look at Steve. You were still cuddled up in his arms, with Bucky’s arms around your waist. ” Says me, come on sweetheart,” Steve kissed you, and got out of bed, pulling the blankets of you and Bucky.

Bucky growled, but his retort was quickly cut short. “Captain Popsicle, Sargent Cyborg, and Miss Superstar, your presence is requested in the meeting room. Very urgent.” Jarvis said. “Be there in 10.” Steve replied, grabbing his pants and a clean t shirt. Bucky also jumped out of bed, and was dressed in seconds. You were still blinking your eyes at how fast they were.

Steve grabbed a pair of leggings and a cute dress and walked towards you. He lifted you up by your waist, and quickly dressed you. He kissed your nose and told you to brush your teeth, while he made a quick sandwich. Bucky stood behind you while you brushed your teeth, brushing your hair. _This is the fastest ever I was ready for something_.

Once you reached the meeting room, everyone was dropping in. Tony stood at the head of the table, looking grim. He waited until everybody was seated. Not everyone was here you noticed. Happy, Darcy and Pepper weren’t there. Only the Avengers and Phil.

“Right, so, I have some disturbing news. Well, that’s putting it mildly.” Tony said, rubbing his hand in his hair. “Just spit it out, tinman.” Sam said, making you snigger. Steve made his disproving captain face at Sam, and he just shrugged.

“What is it, Tony?” Steve asked. Tony sighed. “There was a package this morning in the mail. It had a usb stick in it. Jarvis scanned it for viruses, spyware, and everything else. It came back clean. But there was a short video on it. It shows Rumlow.” That shocked you more than you could have imaged.

_They found me, they know I’m here. They’re going to take me away, away from my Bucky, my Stevie. I can’t live without them, not anymore. I can’t let them hurt my guys. _Your thoughts spiralled out of control.

Bucky tensed as soon as Tony uttered that name and looked at you. He saw you disappearing in your thoughts. He squeezed your hand, but you didn’t respond. Snapped his fingers in front of your face, but it didn’t work. He looked at Steve, he didn’t know what to do. Steve too, had looked at you, and wondered how to get you back. He pinched your arm, but it didn’t work. Suddenly Nat was standing beside Bucky, and she leaned forwards. She gave you a slap so hard, your head flew backwards.

“Nat!!” Steve yelled, while Bucky pushed her away. A bit too hard, according to the smack at the wall. Clint flew towards Nat, and the other guys stood up.

“Friends, what is the occasion of this meeting?” Thor said loudly, entering the room. You winced at his hard voice, while you rubbed your cheek. “Are you all right, babygirl?” Bucky asked. “Yeah, I’m fine. Mom?” you said as you heard a groan. Nat sat down in her chair, with the help of Clint and Thor. “I’m fine.” She said glaring at Bucky.

“Right, let’s get back on track.” Tony said awkwardly. “The package this morning had a USB stick in it. I already looked at the footage. We need to know this is real. That’s where you come in, y/n. It shows footage of you, being… tortured by Rumlow. But the timestamp is wrong. It says it happen yesterday.”

“How is that possible? Do you have the power of teleport, lady/n?” Thor asked. You shaked your head, “I have no powers, nothing.” You whispered. Thor looked awkward and shifted.

“Jarvis, show us.” Steve said. On the screen you saw a woman, with your face. You knew it wasn’t you, her figure wasn’t the same as yours and you saw she hadn’t had the scars you had. _Had._

“’s false. That’s not me.” You said looking at something that was wrong in the footage. You stood up and looked closer, while the rest kept talking. You felt eyes on you, but you had to know what was wrong.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Steve said coming up behind you. “Somethings wrong. I don’t know what. And I think I know who that woman is.” You said to Steve, but the rest stopped talking when you said that.

“Who do you think it is?” Phil said, coming closer to you and Steve. “Here, look at that scar on her thigh. I did that, with a knife I stole from a soldier. It’s the woman who was here, the one Fury arrested.” “Shit.” Steve said, and walked over to a wall and punched a big hole in it. 

“Thor, can you take Steve for a sparring session, please?” Bucky asked Thor, while walking over to hug you. “Of course, come Steve.” Thor said, grabbing Steve and putting him on his shoulder.


	55. Chapter 55

The rest of you looked at everyone and nothing. Suddenly you knew what you were going to do today. “Tony, can you show me the photos of the Hydra agents? I wanna check them all.” You asked, turning in Bucky’s arms. “Superstar, there's no way you can check them all in one day.” Tony said with a frown. “Well I'm gonna try. I can’t do nothing, I need to do something. Everyone is in danger and I don’t want that so I want to do as much as I can.”

“Do you think that's a wise idea? I mean to do right now.” Bucky asked. “Bucky, I'm sorry love, but I need to do this.” You looked over at Tony. “Do you have another room when I get check these over with someone?” Tony rolled his eyes. “Of course, but why don't you want to check in here with us?” “Because I need to do this and I need to be in the right mindset and I need help from someone special. I'm sorry, I can't say more now.” Tony nodded and said you could have this room.

“Do I know this special person?” Tony asked you with his arms crossed over each other. “Well, kind of. But you only know one side, and I really can’t say anymore about it. I’m sorry.” Tony nodded and left the room, with the rest leaving with him.

Everyone stood up and started leaving the room. You turned your head and looked at Bucky. “If you want, you can go to Steve.” “No sunshine, I’m not leaving you. Thor is with Steve.” Bucky said looking in your eyes. You smiled a little. “Okay. I need to get something out of our apartment real quick. “What are you gonna get ?” Bucky asked you with one of his eyebrows raised.

“I'm gonna get Loki.” “You're gonna get Loki? Why?” Bucky asked. “Because he was tortured and made to work with Hydra and he has the memory of him elephant, so I’m going to ask him if he wants to help.” “Okay,” Bucky scratched his head. “maybe I might recognise someone too.” “I'm really glad you're gonna stay. Jarvis, can you keep Loki a secret from Tony. I’m not hiding him, I just want Loki to come out of his shell on his own time and not someone else’s.” “I will tr to keep Loki out of mr Starks sight, but sir has access to my programming. There is only so much I can do, miss.” Jarvis answered. “That’s the best you’re going to get sweetheart. You go and get Loki, and I'm going to get us some energy drinks and some bars.” Bucky smiled at you. “Right. I'll be back in 10.” You kissed him and went of to your apartment.

You got into the apartment and started searching for Loki. Of course, he was asleep on the fridge. “Loki? Loki, wake up,” Slowly Loki blinked. “Loki, I need your help. Hydra sent a message, a video. They gave someone my face and kind of tortured them. But it wasn't really torture because that someone is that basterds soulmate.” you said angrily. “Meow” Loki answered and stoop up.

“Come on, you can sit on my shoulder. Bucky's gonna stay with us. He might recognise someone too.” “Meow.” Loki nodded in understanding. You walked to the front door with Loki on you shoulder and looked at the hallway. Nobody. You walked back to the elevator and soon you ended up at the room where Bucky was already waiting.

“Hey Loki,” Bucky said with a small smile. Loki inclined his head. He jumped on the table and you sat down next to Bucky.

“Okay Jarvis, set her up,” Bucky said. Soon there was a picture of a man in a shield uniform. You said no, Bucky said no, but Loki noted yes. Next picture, you said yes, but Bucky and Loki said no. The three of you sat there for almost 6 hours until Steve came back in the room.

“I'm so sorry, I just got so angry.” Steve said, coming to kneel by your chair. “That's alright handsome, I understand. It is very, I don’t know, to much too understand.” You caressed his face, and Steve leaned in your hand.

“We've been busy with the pictures here. We’ve got 2/3 done. We're going to do the rest tomorrow.” Bucky said. You stretched your back, not noticing how Bucky and Steve looked at how your chest pushed out by the stretch. “What do you all think funny movie and some pizza? Oh Loki, I’ve got just a dessert for you! it's going to be a secret.” You smiled at Loki, and Loki replied with a _really_? face. “Sweetheart, don't tease like that.” Steve said grabbing our hand to let you stand up. “I'm not teasing, I'm keeping it a surprise.” You pouted. 

The four of you went back to your apartment. “Steve, you're gonna need to have a shower, before we're going to eat. Yo stink the whole place up.” Bucky said wrinkling his nose. “I like that smell,” you whispered. “Oh yeah are you going to join me so you can smell it for as long at possible?” Steve said close to your ear, while wrapping his arms around you. “Mmh, I think I can be persuaded.” You smiled leaning back on Steve’s chest. “Oh yeah?” Steve said.

Suddenly you jumped out of his arms. “You gonna have to catch me first!” you said and went out of the room. Bucky and Steve laughed and Steve ran after you. You heard footsteps chasing you. You closed the bedroom door, but already Steve had his hand on the door. You screeched and ran to the bathroom, but within 2 steps he had you by your waist.

“Well, well, look what I have here.” Steve said, sniffing your neck. His breath made goose pimples on your skin, and you let out a soft sound. “Seeing as I won our little game, I am going to claim my prize.” Steve said kissing your neck. “Y-Your prize?” you stuttered.

“Mmhmm, I’m going to wash you all myself.” Your breath hitched. You knew this was going to be an intimate shower, but to hear Steve talk like that it made it seem real.

“S-Steve?” you whispered. “Yes babygirl?” Steve said nibbling your ear. “Can- can you?” You stuttered. Steve turned you in his arms, and lifted your face to look in your eyes. “Talk to me babygirl, I’m here.” Steve smiled, and he looked so sweet, and beautiful. You blushed and looked at his mouth. “Oh baby girl, what’s got you blushing?” Steve crooned.

“Can you do that thing you did with your fingers?” you said quickly and hid in his chest. Steve lifted you up and caried you to the bathroom. He whispered in your ear; “Oh babygirl, I’m going to use my fingers, I promise you. But I’m going to use my mouth on you too.” Steve grinned at you while he sat you down and started to strip you out of your clothes. Leaving you with a red face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts for the next chapter. shower time or movie time?


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shower time

Steve started stripping you, he started with your dress. After that your leggings followed. Soon you were standing there in just your bra and panties. Steve looked like a hungry wolf , with his eyes roaming over your body. “Can I undress you too?” you asked shyly. “Of course, babygirl,” Steve smiled at you.

You started with his shirt, which looked way too tight on him. You slowly unbuttoned them, taking every care not to look at Steve’s face. You untuck his shirt out of his trousers and pulled his shirt of his body. Next, you made his belt undone and lifted his vest. There was no doubt in your mind, Steve was gorgeous. You could see the rise of his beautiful chest. You leaned closer and kissed one of his pecs, just above his nipple.

Steve growled and put his arms around you. Slowly you felt his fingers going to your bra, he unclasped them and let the bands fell down. You took a step back, just as you pushed his trousers down. Your bra fell to the floor and quickly you covered your breasts. “No need to be shy babygirl, I really love to see you,” Steve said lovingly. You came close to him, still blushing, and put your hand thumbs and the elastic of his underpants. He did the same with you and together you pushed them down.

You two locked eyes and softly smiled to each other. But suddenly his smile went into his smirk. Steve turned you in his arms and directed you to the shower. He already put it on, so it was nice and warm. He let most of the water fall over you, and he grabbed shampoo. Steve started washing your hair, after he rinsed the soap out, he started washing your body.

“Steve, can I wish you too?” you asked, loving the feeling of his hands washing your body. “Of course, sweetheart.” You grabbed his body wash, which was shampoo and bodywash in one. You tried to reach his head, you couldn't reach all of him so he had to bend down. He put his head on your belly, while you washed it. You could hear soft moan coming from him.

After you finished his hair, you tried to watch his body. Starting with his shoulders. Slowly leaning down to get more of him in your reach. Steve who put his arms around you and held you by your bum. “Stevie,” you chastened him, “I’m trying to wash you.” You gasped when his nose met the apex of your thighs.

“Stevie, can you stand up please? I want to wash your legs.” You pouted at him. He looked up at you, resting his chin on your belly. “And what is my reward for when I stand up?” Steve said cheekily, with a flirty smile. “Stand up and find out.” You grinned. He kissed your mound and stood up.

You put new body wash on your hands and started washing his left hip, going down to his feet. Then you repeated the same on his right leg, completely ignoring his hardening length. “S-Stevie?” You asked when you stood up, looking at your feet. Steve took you face in his hand and made you look up at him. “Are you okay babygirl? We can stop here if you want.” Steve said concerned.

“No-no, I’m good. I… I wanted to… ‘help’ clean that too.” You said softly, blushing bright red, gesturing to his hardening length. “Babygirl, is all yours.” Steve said softly, kissing your lips. You looked up at him. “Can you guide me?” Steve opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. He nodded and took your hand in his.

He closed your hand on his length, and held his hand over yours. He made soft motions going up and down. “That’s it baby. Up and down.” He let your hand go to let you do it yourself. “A bit tighter, yeah, aahh, that’s it.” Steve praised. You twisted your hand, making Steve moan. You saw an opening at the end of his penis, and used your thumb to rub it a little. Steve’s hips hit your hand hard, making you think what you did was wrong. “I’m Sorry Steve, did I hurt you?” “Heck no, that was awesome,” Steve groaned.

You returned to his length and wandered how sensitive his balls were. So, with you other hand you upped them and massaged them. Steve was moaning so hard, you wondered if Bucky could hear. But you didn’t care a lot about that, you made Steve feel this good. You quickened your movements and within seconds, hot cum splattered on your chest and face.

You gasped and took a step back. Steve was looking wonderful, mouth open, eyes screwed shut. It made you smile, knowing you did that to him. Suddenly is eyes snapped open, and he looked at you, making you squirm where you stood.

Steve sank to his knees and shuffled closer to you. when you were in reach, he grabbed you by your hips and hauled you over to him. He rested his chin on your bely once again, and gazed up at you. “Baby girl, that was amazing.” Steve smiled.” And now its my turn,” he said with a sultry look. He gave you a soft kiss before slowly running his tongue on your outer lips.

He alternated with kissing your thighs and coming back to your mound. Steve parted your legs a bit with his hands and slowly brought his tongue to the top of your seam. And then he pushed through your lips. When you felt this tongue against your clit, you let out a loud moan.

You could feel his smile and put your hand over your mouth. One of his hands reached up and took your hand away. “Sweetheart, I wanna hear every sound you make, you sound like music.” His tongue started to go up and down, making a circle around your clit went back down, slowly going deeper between your legs.

He started going faster and sucking your clit. “Steve, please again, oh God, Stevie!” Steve started moaning against you, making you feel trapped in your body. You could feel something tightening in your body. He lifted his mouth of you and said, “Babygirl. just let go . I've got you.” And with that he got back to licking and sucking you like a man on a mission. Within seconds you came, hard.

A loud moan filled the bathroom, and soon your legs gave out. Because of the way Steve was sitting, and not expecting it, he fell on his bum, making him topple backwards. There was a loud smack when his back hit the floor. You placed your hands on his chest, breathing hard, you were still in cloud 9. Your hands fell away and you fell on his chest. Steve arms cradled you to his chest. You two didn't even notice Bucky entering the bathroom. “You two are having fun, aren’t ya?” bucky chuckled. You both hummed and hugged closer.

Bucky grabbed two towels, turned of the taps, and laid one towel over your body. Slowly he extracted you from Steve’s embrace and lifted you up. He walked you over to the bed and wrapped you in the towel. He quickly went back and when he came back, you couldn’t hold your laughter. He carried Steve just like he carried you. He laid Steve down next to you, and wrapped him in a towel too.

Bucky walked over to his dresser and grabbed 2 shirts and a boxer. Then he walked over to your dresser and grab a pair of your panties. He came back to you and started drying you. You squirmed when he reached your mound, and he smiled at you. “Next time, babydoll.” Bucky grinned at you, with a gleam in his eyes.

Steve was in the land of the living again and, was dressed at the same time, Bucky had dressed you. “Come on, dinners ready. Let’s eat in front of the tv. I picked out a great movie.” Bucky smiled, holding your hand and grabbing Steve’s. “What movie?” you asked, grinning up at him.

“Jumanji.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome!!


	57. Chapter 57

The three of you went to bed hours ago. Jumanji was a great movie, and you couldn’t wait to see part two. It wasn’t long that the boys fell asleep. Steve fell asleep first, and Bucky soon after. Cutie came in the room at one point and curled up on Bucky. He put his hand on Cutie and sighed out, making you smile. You liked knowing Bucky and Steve liked Cutie.

You laid on your back, thinking about things. You knew you wouldn’t sleep this night, it happened frequently that you couldn’t sleep. Hydra really messed with your sleeping habits, even when you were gone for a few years. You decided to have a walk, perhaps that would make you tired. You, very carefully, got out of bed, without waking Steve and Bucky. You had your Stitch pyjama on and grabbed some fuzzy socks that laid on the floor. You grabbed your phone and softly went out of the bedroom.

You looked out of the windows, still pitch-black. The view from the living room was larger, so you went up to the living room. It was a bit cold on the way up, so when you saw a blanket on the couch, you grabbed it and put it around you. You walked closer to the window and sat down on a pillow you had taken from the couch. You opened your app which had your podcasts you loved to listen. When Bucky had seen you had the same app as him, he bought you a year’s subscription. It was great not to listen to 5 minutes of advertisements and listen in one go. You chose one at random and laid the phone beside you. You were looking at the bright lights outside, you could see no stars, but the lights of the buildings were pretty too.

Having listen to the podcast before, you listen with only half ear. After a while you had enough of the sights and walked over to the kitchen to look for a snack. You glanced around the kitchen and saw Sam’s cookbook. You nibbled your lip and smiled when you decided to make something.

You flipped through the cookbook, until your eyes fell on a lovely cake, a sachertorte. First checking if all the ingredients were in, you started looking for the baking tray. You smiled at the stash of chocolate there was. That was definitely had to be Darcy, she loved chocolate.

Just when you started adding the eggs to the mix, Bruce came walking in. “Hey y/n, what are you doing up so late? Me, I understand, I live for the night.” Bruce yawned. You laughed, “Yeah right. I couldn’t sleep, so I came here to look at the city. But when I wanted to grab a snack, I saw Sams cookbook and wanted to give it a go.” Bruce turned the cookbook his way. “Mm, sachertorte, delicious,” Bruce said yawning again. “Whatever are you listening to, don’t they make you sleepy? It sounds so boring.” He sat down on a chair by the island and watched you work.

“You know how that sounds right?” You smiled. “It’s a podcast I like to listen to. This one is about faith and evolution. The question is can you believe in God and in evolution. Both sides have great points of view. I like to listen to them, because I have get my own opinion without someone saying its wrong. Stupid I know. But when I was still alone, listening to these things have helped me.” You said with a blush, not looking at Bruce. “I can understand that. I personally, don’t like to listen to them, but Pep likes to listen to them too.”

The two of you were doing your own thing in silence, until Bruce started talking back to the man that was on the podcast. “I think that guy, what’s his name, Josh? He’s an idiot. You either believe in one thing or the other, you can’t have it both ways.” “Why not? I believe that too.” Bruce looked at you like you had 2 heads. “Your saying, you believe God exists, and at the same time the evolution theory? That’s ridiculous.”

“Why? What’s so wrong about that? It kind of like believing there are places in the universe where life can live, where we can’t.” you shrugged. “And how would you see that life?” Bruce asked, with his chin on his hand, looking at you with a face you couldn’t describe. “Don’t look at me like that, please.” You whispered looking down at your almost finished mix. “Like what?” Bruce asked with a serious voice.

“Like, I don’t know, mad at me or something. It makes me feel I did something wrong.” You said softly. “I’m not, this is just my face,” Bruce said softly. After a while he said, “You didn’t answer my question” You looked up at him and blinked. “Which one?” “Life on other planets. Why can’t we live on some planets while aliens can?” Bruce asked. “Well, can you without protection and everything, live on a seabed where lava comes out of the ground. We can’t, but there are crabs that can. There is so much we don’t understand about earth, and we think we know what’s out there. The universe is so enormous. I’ve read that we can live on Asgard, but we wouldn’t survive for long in Jotunheim.”

“Mmh. Yes, but.” Bruce started. “BRUCE!!” Pepper yelled. Bruce’s face went comically nervous. Suddenly Pepper was standing next to him and grabbing his ear. “What did I tell you? At the latest, you come to bed at 11.30PM. Its 3.15 AM! Get your ass to that bedroom, mister.” Pepper said looking sternly at Bruce, who looked like a kicked puppy. “Sorry Pep, I got distracted, and that I was talking to y/n and I..” Bruce said quickly but gulped when Pepper lifted a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at him. “Right, ass, bed, now. Goodnight Y/n.” Bruce said falling over his feet, when he walked over to the elevator.

“Sachertorte?” Pepper asked, while she sat down. “Yeah, thought I would give it a whirl. “Smells good. Do you need any help?” Pepper smiled. “Aren’t you going to bed?” you smiled. “Nah, Tony is having his wild nights. He twists and turns, he smacked me in the face, that’s why I’m up. He can’t help it, but it is what it is. PTSD isn’t a walk in the park. He always calms down when Bruce is near.” You nodded and looked closely at her face, it was indeed a bit red.

“Do you want something for your face? It is a bit red.” You questioned. “Oh no, it will be gone soon. Thanks though. You look a bit pale, on the other hand. When did you last eat?” Pepper asked. “Dinner, we ate in front of the tv. Have you seen Jumanji?” You asked excitedly. “Yes, it’s a good movie.” Pepper said standing up and looking for something in a drawer.

She walked back to you and opened a small bag, with a small device and a pen-like thing. She twisted something and turned some things and something bleeped. You had just put the cake in the oven when she said, “Wash your hands and come over.” You did as she said, hearing her serious voice.

“I’m going to measure your sugar level in your blood. It may sting a bit, but it will soon pass. Now, give me one of your hands.” You gave your left one, and she took hold of your index finger. She put the pen-thing against it and clicked a button. “Shit!” you yelled. “Language,” you heard behind you. It was Nat. “What are you two doing?” she asked. “She’s paler than normal. I know its night, but she yawned a lot and is wearing that blanket while cooking. I wanted to check her sugar level, just to be sure.” Pepper told Nat.

“’She’ is also standing here.” You said flatly. “Sorry y/n, I didn’t mean to.” pepper apologized. Just when you wanted to say something, the machine bleeped. “A bit low, but seeing as its some time since you ate, I guess that’s okay. Let’s grab some snacks and drinks and hang out while your cake is baking.” Pepper smiled at you. “Cake?” Nat said with longing. “Yes, I’m making a sachertorte.” You smiled. “Darcy will love you forever, that’s her favorite.” Nat smiled.

The three of you grabbed snacks and drinks and went to sit on the couch. You chatted and laughed at stories they told you about the family. The Nerf-gun fights, Sam teasing Bucky by sticking magnets on his arm. Tony teasing Steve calling him ‘grandpa’, to which Steve reacted by taking Tony over his knee and spanking him, telling him to respect his elders. You could just picture everything they told you. Little did any of you know, the day would turn out nasty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> I'm going trough a hard time right now, so updates are less frequent than usual. I hope to post one every 2 weeks.
> 
> Stay Safe


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